Are You Female And Get Constant Unwelcomed Stalkers?

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That is just plain disturbing considering this thread began as the backyard stalker problem.
I'm a bit miffed at where it turned into the 'how to get a date' thread-but I do as well find the topic interesting.

I later see that as well I should have posted this in the women's forum.

I like Tickers advice, in light of the off topic change of discussion from stalking to dating.

Now, back to what to do when you have a pest who is not taking your directions to 'sod off'....

Buy a taser that fires not the ones that just shock, a pulse technology one is best will bring people down who are on drugs as well, pull your coat aside or what ever place you stick it they pretty small theses days, and say you got 1 min to get out of my sight before I pull the trigger...

http://www.taser.com/self_defense/index.htm

How’s that for a self defence weapon


TASER C2 - $349.00 cheaper one…

Civilian version I think the law enforcement one looks better though…



TASER X26c - $999.00 for the law one …

Difference between these and the shock prong ones these will take down someone on drugs… Also if someone pulls a knife out on you he better run... Can't put a price on a self-defence weapon special when most others won't work on most, even pepper spray sucks unless you buy the law enforment one...

Or keep throwing drinks in the guys face that's left on tables sure at one point he will be wet enough lol...

/* // Seriously

Be more direct? Are you telling him to sod off and insult him and belittle him or you saying it nicely..
*/

I thought that SOME girls like being leered at by guys, because it makes them feel wanted. In your experience, are all girls creeped out by guys who stare at them in a sexual manner?



In fact, those are ALL I'm specifically looking for at the moment. If a longer-term relationship develops somehow while I'm looking for this, then so be it, if not, then that's fine too. If you want more info, I suggest you read my thread in the Love and Dating section from a few days ago describing in great detail what I think about relationships, so I don't have to repeat it in this already slightly off-topic thread.



This is exactly what my friends said, and why I posted in this thread at all. I see the benefit in doing that, but the guy in the scifi club was obviously doing something wrong if some of the girls even wanted him thrown out of the group.



More likely to be overlooked than where? At a bar? I find that on campus, the more informal the social environment and the more different the people are than average, the more my AS shows. Never in my entire academic career has someone in any of my science, math, or engineering classes, or any group specifically for such people, seemed to be bothered by my social awkwardness and focused interests, in fact a lot of my friendships started based upon my tendency to ask people about their research, etc. I get the strong impression that such traits are accepted and even expected, even by the students who don't have autism/AS.

The "worst" time I've had (worst in quotes because they weren't mean or anything, just seemed to sometimes regard me as an amusement more than a friend) was with a group of business, mass communication, and other random majors while living in a dorm. Of course, I've known plenty of people outside of the sciences who, even in informal settings, accepted me--especially some of the nice, good-natured girls, which gives me hope that I can find one who's interested in me.



Thanks. As far as making friends (as opposed to relationships or sex partners), if you're in college I would say talk to people in your classes, at the dining hall/cafeteria, in dorms if you live there, etc. I've really had no trouble getting to know people that way. As soon as I would start talking to a few people, they would introduce me to their friends, and so on. Through a combination of this and the fact that I participated very actively in class, within a few months of being at college I had people I didn't even vaguely recognize come up to me and say hi to me by name (others are a lot better at remembering my name after hearing it just once or twice than I am at remembering theirs).

Of course, you have to keep in mind that I have no trouble carrying on a normal conversation at least for a little while, until the topic gets boring.

You talk about how a guy has to make sure the way he expresses his attraction is appropriate. That's one of the things us AS guys are bad at--considering and taking into account what is socially appropriate. Also, if a girl is ever to get along with us, she has to accept that we may not always act according to social expectations, including in the manner in which we express our attraction, and she may have to temporarily ditch aside the notion of "appropriateness". This absolutely doesn't mean she needs to accept violent, abusive behavior or threats of such behavior, but it would be nice if once in a while girls responded to an awkward (or "pathetic") attempt to pursue a girl, whether or not it involves staring or leering, with a more direct statement of their interest or lack thereof rather than repulsion or fear.

Also, asking a girl out once (or a group of girls, once each) is different from repeatedly asking them out even though they had clearly said "no". Clearly is the key word here--as I'm sure you know, lots of hints may not be interpreted the way you would hope by people with AS. If a girl very matter-of-factly said "I'm not interested in you" the first or second time I approached her, I wouldn't ask her out in the future. If it were said nicely, I wouldn't be offended either--I would be glad that she spared me having to follow her around and ask umpteen questions to try and gauge whether she is interested, and at the same time it would spare you having to fight him off anymore. The worst is if they first act interested, and then just subtly ignore me later--it leaves me wondering and makes it more likely I will "stalk".

A right not to be pursued? As far as I'm concerned, what you have is a right to is to tell a guy (or another girl for that matter) that you're not interested, or that he/she is bothering you, and that he/she then stop pestering you. You do not have a right to not have guys ask you out. Be sure to use words (or another form of clear communication) to get your disinterest and/or fact of being bothered across, rather than relying on hints that could be misinterpreted, if the fact that they stop pursuing you is that important to you.



What "offends" me (or more accurately frustrates me) is when society tells guys that there is something wrong with their sex drives, that guys can't act like guys anymore, etc. We have gotten to the point where a woman can accuse a man of sexual harassment just for looking at her breasts, even though at the same time she actually may be wearing a piece of clothing specifically designed to partially expose them. Some girls/women expect that they can send mixed signals, be very indirect about their interest or lack of interest, even flirt and then suddenly turn around and claim that an advance was unwelcome and blame the guy for not reading her mind. From my point of view, unless there is physical contact or behavior on the guy's part that interferes with the day-to-day activities of his "target" (or a threat of either of these), then the guy has done nothing wrong. And don't claim I'm promoting sexist double standards here--I wouldn't complain if a girl was always staring at my crotch or approached me in the hallway every time I walked by, I would probably just smile if I wasn't interested and start a conversation if I was.



So the fact that a guy attended an event is search of an attractive girl makes his attraction to any girl he meets not OK? I'm confused.



Not anyone in particular right now, though I do sometimes bump into people on campus who I'm attracted to.

Last edited by biostructure on 26 Jan 2007, 5:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Oh, and something I forgot to ask in one of my previous posts:

Do you mean to imply that intelligence and kindness (in the sense of treating people with at least a minimum level of respect, NOT being a touchy-feely "sensitive guy") do NOT appeal to women who want short-term relationships or flings? If so, that's bad news for me, as these, aside from my tendency to be passionate about things that I like, are my main positive qualities.

And logitechdog--why are you so angry at people who take drugs? You must have repeated three times on this thread already the fact that tasers can knock down people on drugs.

I had one guy who freaked me out when after 2 weeks of dating, he was talking about us getting married. I broke it off right away because we had nothing in common, and because I would never convert for him. He's not the Mormon guy, but belonged to another mainstream Christian church. Anyway, I tried to break up in a nice way, but he kept calling me, and comming over to my house so I told him that his behavior was starting to scare me, and that if he contacted me again, I'd press stalking charges and get a restraining order. That worked, and in the 4 years since, I've been left alone.

Bio the form of flirting your talking about is female teasing you want to avoid them females...

It to tease you and with no intentions of giving you anything or having any interest in you...

Edit:- Just stating a fact no point having a weapon that will not work on a person taking drugs... same as a guy with pepper spray won't work if he uses it as eye spray... You don't want to try and taser a guy with a normal taser on drugs, even a cop has a hard time knocking them down...

Yes I am against Illegal drugs...

It seems to me that the best way to handle such a situation, for both you and the "stalker", is to mention that his behavior is bothering you BEFORE it gets to the point where you feel like you need a restraining order. If you've already conclusively made up your mind that he's not right for you, there's no need to let it drag on and get more stressed out, is there?

When you first let him know you're not interested and want to discontinue the relationship, be sure you communicate that fact, not just hide it by saying "I'm busy" when he wants to go out again or something like that. Since you'd already been dating, he would have had reason to believe you were still interested unless you said otherwise, and depending on the guy, confusing behavior on your part may arouse uncertainty and/or concern about you on his part. I don't know about the average stalker, but I will say with confidence that most AS guys who display stalkerish behavior do it because of a misunderstanding, not because they intend to harm you.

I'm male and constantly get female stalkers.
It's a pain in the arse to avoid those creeps.

If they want to tease, they can do so, but then they shouldn't get upset if a guy responds by chasing after them. If you hold a piece of meat in your hand and dangle it in front of a dog's nose, is it the dog's fault if he bites into it and catches a little of your hand in the process?

Which are illegal in the UK.

That's ok. I'm in the states.

Maybe BioStructure Can't Find A Girl Because Biostructure Talks Too Much

Maybe BioStructure Can't Find A Girl Because He Isn't Spending Enough Time In LOVE AND DATING

http://irish.typepad.com/irisheyes/2004 ... _own_.html

Bio most females here have a large chip on they shoulder or is that they head

I get the odd stalker, not a common occurance though.