Aspies and lying

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My only concern is for those that may be harmed from any manipulation. Otherwise, I do not care whether or not you post, as long as you do not manipulate others or needlessly start trouble. I'm always open to having rational and respectful discussions. I do not feel that you should be misrepresenting yourself as a person with ASD, or letting others believe that you do, whether or not it's intentional.

If you do indeed have NPD, you're probably better off trying to cure yourself of it, if possible. Based upon my experience with a person who likely has it, those with NPD end up with unfulfilling lives and are ultimately unhappy.

I am not misrepresenting myself,I have been Dx'd when I was 4 years old with some sensory issues,as well as neuromotor components typically associated with autism. I am 100% sure I inherited autistic traits from my father.I do not like how people here paint autistic people with a broad brush. There are harmless,friendly,well intentioned aspies and there are aspies that are looking for trouble. The same could be said about aspies,many NPD's become extremely successful with loads of money and very attractive spouses. They rise to the top of companies,while there are also NPD's that become dysphoric when they cannot obtain the supply they need due to lack of ability. The difference between successful aspies and aspies that sit around wallowing in pity is the same difference between NPD's that do the same. What is that difference you ask?Intellectual Quotient and in the case of autistic people "special interests". My father used to lash out like some people here do but he has the IQ where with age he can figure out how to mitigate the situation. The difference between me and aspies,is that I was not born like this. My psychological disorders are a result of my dad having emotional outburst and being violent/cold with his family. The double standard in this thread is concerning to be quite frank with you. If a man is abusive to his family and he is NPD/ASPD "What a MONSTER!" "What a piece of s**t!!" When it is an autistic person that abuses his family though "Awww poor guy he can't help himself" This is absolute nonsense. If my dad learned to control himself with age,clearly there are things that can be done about it.While on wrong planet it may justify behaviors,in a criminal court of law if you say you killed someone due to asperger's you will spend some quality time in jail and they will laugh at you. The point I am making here,is that it isn't always about how the person with asperger's feels but about how they impact those they love and care about. Aspies are people at the end of the day. There are good people and bad people,Asperger's cannot all be painted with one broad brush because they are still people with distinct personalities and thought patterns.Your actions define you whether people here want to accept it or not.NPD is caused by extremely abusive home settings so I fail to realize why I am not offered the same compassion/understanding that others here are. I still have a hard life ahead of me,I still have challenges and I am still human.

I typically don't offer much compassion for those that are abusive. You seem to be getting the wrong idea. Maybe others on WP feel differently. I wouldn't feel supportive for an aspie that was cruel and abusive.

And the difference between successful aspies and unsuccessful ones is a little more complicated. IQ is only one component. Some very intelligent people with ASD have so many other problems with functioning that their IQ doesn't really help. Severity of autistic traits and IQ don't necessarily correlate.

Some have extremely severe sensory issues that make success impossible. Or poor executive functioning. Or such difficulties with understanding socializing that they can't hold down a job because they are totally clueless and just can't learn how to get along with others. Then there is the individual personality, and the support the person has received.

My childhood was awful for various reasons. Perhaps with support I'd be a success by now. I don't know. I'm higher functioning not just because I have a higher IQ, but because my deficits in socializing aren't quite as severe. But my executive functioning and sensory issues are larger problems.

And I feel one major difference between bad behaviors is the intent behind them. If one is unaware of the impact of their behavior, they are not willfully causing another pain and suffering. I cannot feel compassion for a person who enjoys causing pain and suffering. Despite all of the abuse I have suffered, I don't desire to cause pain to others. It gives me no pleasure. Why should that be an excuse for others?

So a person who is not only unable to feel empathy, but willfully causes pain to others is not worthy of my compassion. I may feel sorry that the person lacks the capability to feel sympathy and compassion for others, and feel sorry for what they've suffered as children, if that is the case. But my main concern is protecting the world from people like themselves.

DonTrump why do you create huge debates in nearly every thread you start/add a post to? And why's your username named after a government person?

The name was aptly chosen. Think about it.

The real Donald Trump is not yet in any sense a "government person". He is a "private sector person".

But though that's the wrong wording it is definitely the RIGHT question. Lol!


Have also been wondering why the OP named himself after a current presidential candidate.

And why are all of you responding to him?

He has admitted to being a sociopath in this very thread. So why aid, and abet a sociopath?

Just ignore him.

Yes, it seems his posts get responded to so often, that other members posts (who try to stick to the topic) get ignored, because it's all about DonTrump.

And private sector person is what I meant, couldn't think of it at the time. But say I was half right? Lol

Yep.....by responding to a troll, you are FEEDING a troll.

The definition of empathy and sympathy given by Yingiren is quite concise, and correct.

Whoever says autistic people LACK empathy is totally misinformed. There might be a disorder in how empathy is manifested within people with autism. In my case, I experience empathy only after a period of time; I don't tend to experience it immediately.

As Zkydz so aptly put it, one can be FORCED to lie via such things as abuse and the related desire for self-preservation.

Mr.Trump, why don't you try to offer constructive suggestions, rather than get bogged down in semantics, and in trying to provoke people? If you desire answers, provoking people with your suppositions will not inspire people to help you find those answers. It's the old adage about attracting people via honey, rather than via vinegar.

I, myself, find it irritating to see discussions which never get anywhere, which takes up space, and which causes useless, non-constructive thought. Going around in circles without answering the question; the circle brings us BACK to the question and causes stagnation.

Like the movie "Groundhog Day." Nothing progresses from that point.

I think you are getting bogged down in terminology. Empathy is defined in more than one way--the standard dictionary way, and the more complicated, confusing way put forth by Simon Baron-Cohen, the originator of the "Theory of Mind" theory who said that autistics tend to lack cognitive empathy (the ability to understand another's mental state) but usually have emotional empathy (the ability to emotionally respond to another's mental states). I suppose he might have something there, but it's hopelessly confused things for the layman and the media, who tend to just say we lack any empathy at all. I think you are saying your dad lacks cognitive empathy. You can learn it, sort of, with lots of effort, and even then it will not work well.

That's fine that you are approaching this from a logical/intellectual point of view, but not everybody is going to work that way. Some of us are dealing with it at an emotional level, because this is our lives, or that's how we approach it. You'll just have to accept that some people are going to be more emotional, and respect their feelings. In your other posts, I believe you asked if we thought ASD was an excuse for bad behavior (being abusive, neglectful, etc.). No, it's not. It may take more work to make a relationship work, but being cruel is never acceptable. My dad was the classic example of a horrible, abusive Aspie who never took responsibility for his actions, and thought the world was stupid for being different. I've resolved to be a different sort of person.

I think a lot of the conflict here is the way you are wording your comments and questions. Try making them more personal, more about your own situation, than making sweeping statements about Aspies/autistics that may not be true in every case. For example, "my Dad, whom I think is an Aspie, does X. It ticks me off when he does that! Do other Aspies do this? Why does he do that? What should I do?" See, lots of "I" statements make it your issue, and invite us in to lend support or offer constructive suggestions.