Christian name or Mr/Mrs/Miss?

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My brother's second name (of four) is the one he uses, and the only one that isn't a saint.

I’m not really sure. I’ll have to do research on this. I don’t hear that much about that from the Jewish people I know.

I dislike that trend too. Here's a bit of observational comedy that matches my feelings on the matter quite well:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_8j68WyxOU

To me he's plain Dick, but I won't get started on why.

...I thought you were Jewish (if perhaps ethnically, not religiously) ?








quote="kraftiekortie"]I’m not really sure. I’ll have to do research on this. I don’t hear that much about that from the Jewish people I know.[/quote]

I am, “ethnically,” Jewish on my mother’s side.

I identify with many Jewish issues, though I wish there was a two-state solution in the area once known as Palestine.

Does anyone here know or observe their Name Day?

The only place I know of the Name Day convention from is my beloved (as you know) 19th century Russian literature. I assumed that was an Eastern Catholic (Orthodox) thing.

It is, although I'm not.
I always observed my Name Day because I think it's fun and I like the date.
I learned about this tradition from a Polish friend.

But Polish people are almost invariably Catholic - certainly not Orthodox.

I grew up in midwestern US and it was always, first, middle, last names. Never heard of Christian name until I was much older.

I am surprised we have so little representation from south and central american in regards to names. Mexican Spanish still has a formal Usted and an informal Tu, although as subjects they are frequently dropped from a sentence, but the verbs are conjugated differently. I always try to use formal version as a sign of respect for the people I work with, but have noticed that most Spanish speaking people that I interact with use the informal tense. There is also a complicated system of naming children that I have not completely figured out, but roughly there is a first name, then the mother's last name, then the father's last name and maybe some family or saint's names thrown in too.

In the South (USA) when a white plantation woman was married, she was referred to as "Miss [first name]. Not Mrs. and not her last name. Ya'll is common southern talk of all races in the rural areas, and is plural. You wouldn't say "Ya'll come down to the barbeque" to one person.

In professional situations, I prefer to be called by my last name. I don't really care whether they say Mrs, Miss, Ms. I do not want to be called into an office by my first name. But I don't make a big deal about.

But what bothers me a lot, and which happened recently, is when someone with "status" (a director) whom I have addressed as "Director So and So" to be polite turns around and addresses me by my first name. In a letter no less.
Or there are people in my field who want me to refer to them as "Dr So and So" and I then introduce myself as "Dr. [my last name]. Like Darmok, I am not a medical doctor, but if someone else is going to throw around his/her PhD, then I will too. Seems necessary in the bureaucratic field I am in. I wouldn't do it on my behalf, but my work is advocating for others.

not everyone that uses your first name is trying to be your friend, incompetent, and unprofessional. although some of them are.


while i do not concur with you on that particular subject, i do know how you feel. i hate getting called a "n***a" or a "boy" or "girl". totally condescending. they are just words, and "actions speak louder than words". but words show their attitude and their attitude is not good according to my standards .

Anything but Miss, Madam or Ma-am. Just call me Sir.

I'd rather be called by my first name. I don't like formalities. I'm amazed that formalities didn't die out in the hippie days.

Broadly I agree with that. When I use people's first name, as I like to do all the time, I'm basically calling for mutual empathy and support. I'm not trying to be their friend (that's something that happens if it's going to happen), it's just meant as a friendly gesture. It's also meant to try and cut through some of the hard-heartedness I notice when dealing with certain individuals in bureaucratic positions - probably not much use if they're too far gone to care about people, but worth a shot. Competence is simply what I try to achieve in pretty much everything I do, with some success, and I "expect" it from others whatever we call each other. I guess professional means doing one's job competently, so if I'm (e.g.) dealing with a plumber then that's covered by my competence expectation. Being retired I don't have the burden of any professional expectations of me, and when I had a "responsible" job at the university we always used forenames but I was expected to do my job properly, and I don't think calling each other "Mr." would have made it any different. I can see how using "Mr." etc. might for some people make it easier to keep a bit of distance so that it's easier to complain about a bad job or bargain firmly, but it makes no difference to me, because the actual degree of friendship is another matter entirely, but using forenames helps to remind me that however annoyed I am about the service, I have no right to get any more stroppy with them than I would a friend, and there's really no need to.

I'm white so I've never been called a "n***a." All three sound like they're meant as put downs of course, though it's odd to me that they're normally used in that way, because I see nothing especially bad about being black, effeminate, butch or young. I guess one way of hitting back would be to call them a racist, misogynist, homophobe, gerantocrat or pedophobe, as applicable.

They did in my case