26 and dependent on mommy
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 121,174
Location: In my own little country
It's a good thing I'm not like her, also. I think you're a strong man.
_________________
The Family Schlager
Last edited by CockneyRebel on 07 Oct 2007, 5:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Hmm, difficult one. Ticker's post irked me a little, but at the same time, she is right in ways. Back in the past, before AS was a label, those with it either sank or swam. There was no option to sit there, feeling sorry for oneself and blaming everything on the AS issues. And although I am sure there are some who genuinely cannot work because their issues are that severe, I am also sure there are others, including myself, who could put that little extra effort in and at least try to work etc.
I think her annoyance is valid considering she clearly works damn hard and has worked damn hard to live with her AS issues and still get along in the world.
richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind
i dont have a problem with people telling me what works for them, in life getting a job etc.. the problem arises when you judge me by some internet forum on how "functional" you think i am, by how you function in the real world without even meeting me.
_________________
Winds of clarity. a universal understanding come and go, I've seen though the Darkness to understand the bounty of Light
This is true. The way we talk online cannot indicate how well we function in day to day life. Not sure I can comment on the hiking point she made though, though admittedly, I am sure that is done solitary and doesn't involve any fine motor skills etc.
richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind
walking up a mountain doesnt involve any fine motor skills. its just walking, ocasionally a gust of wind will knock me over though as they can get pretty strong up there ![]()
_________________
Winds of clarity. a universal understanding come and go, I've seen though the Darkness to understand the bounty of Light
Last edited by richardbenson on 07 Oct 2007, 7:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Being able to do all kinds of work doesn't always mean you will be hired to do some kind of work. You don't just sign up for a job and the job is yours...ya know? You have to go through interviews, people have to like you, etc. The moment the interviewers perceive that the person they are interviewing is a bit "awkward" (not that he has a bad attitude or is unfriendly, but that he is a bit "awkward") they'll start having second thoughts about hiring that person, and more often than not they will just hire someone else.
Getting a job is not as easy as NTs make it sound. At least not for us, anyway.
thyme
Veteran
Joined: 5 Aug 2007
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 825
Location: Over the Hills and Far Away
People with AS are developmentally delayed so a 26 yrs old person with AS is as mature as a NT 16 yrs old. Also taking into account the things that make life much more difficult for a person with AS to live independently. Such as sensory issues, social phobia/anxiety, depression, lack of fine motor skills, not having any kind of social support. It makes things much more difficult.
I forgot to say I live independantly, but didn't move out on my own till age 29.
_________________
O RLY?
Last edited by thyme on 07 Oct 2007, 7:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind
GoatOnFire
Veteran
Joined: 22 Feb 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,986
Location: Den of the ecdysiasts
Being able to do all kinds of work doesn't always mean you will be hired to do some kind of work. You don't just sign up for a job and the job is yours...ya know? You have to go through interviews, people have to like you, etc. The moment the interviewers perceive that the person they are interviewing is a bit "awkward" (not that he has a bad attitude or is unfriendly, but that he is a bit "awkward") they'll start having second thoughts about hiring that person, and more often than not they will just hire someone else.
Getting a job is not as easy as NTs make it sound. At least not for us, anyway.
In my area you have to be bilingual for many of the lower paying jobs anymore. I was born before it was mandatory for Texas students to learn Spanish so I ended up taking Japanese.
_________________
I will befriend the friendless, help the helpless, and defeat... the feetless?
And you're just a jerk. Why don't you learn how to dispense this "tough love" in a positive manner? You may think you're helping but you're not. It looks a lot like you feel compelled to make things worse while pretending to help. Spend a few minutes learning how to do it better if you actually care, which I doubt.
If you read this before I edited it, I apologize. I just don't think that people come here to be treated that way when they feel vulnerable. I still feel vulnerable a lot and I am worried about losing my car now that I have one because my job moved and the drive there sucks.
Yes, AS as a title didn't exist but the symptoms & conditions themselves sure did. AS is genetic after all. I have been battling AS problems long before I ever know AS existed. I was only diagnosed this past July. I was born with my problems.
That's a rather broad & warped assumption on your part, one among a great many in your post.
Dr are you? Prove this. Mind you, you have to prove this in each & every one of WP individual members cases... Good luck.
Good for you. I am truly happy you over came that. However as pointed out by other members we are talking about the autistic spectrum. Low functioning, high functioning & all in between. I hate to burst your bubble, but you can't possibly fit everyone in the same box.
Sorry, you probably only mean well, but this just isn't the case for all people with autism.
I don't believe I know anyone who uses autism (or any disablity) for that matter as an excuse, not yet anyway. Most people I've come across are just trying to live.
Yes, this is true. There are a lot of people with all forms of disabilities & deadly disease in the last stages still hard at work. However there are a lot of people in the first & last stages of cancer & other diseases - people with none life threatening AS too who are not working because they cannot. As I pointed out earlier in this thread, you cannot fit everyone in the same box. What works for you doesn't work for the next person. What abilities you have are not abilities possessed by the next person. Be lucky for what you have as others are not as fortunate. AS is not a choice. You seem to be very high functioning (if autistic at all) Appreciate that.
You know of one person, you point out one autistic person (one) who is working (excuse me & yourself of course) so you claim that everyone with autism can work? Huh. Intersting. & again... are you a Dr? I guess we should all get off our lazy rears, quit whining & start making the big bucks already. Shut down the forum everyone! We're cured!
This part of your post I agree with. Judging by the rest of your post you certainly have a lot to learn of the world yourself.
Last edited by Wrackspurt on 07 Oct 2007, 8:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I am intelligent and physically able to do work. Unfortunetly, neither of these things do a damn bit of good when dealing with co-workers, customers, bosses, etc., which is the reason I have ended up losing all my jobs. I got there on time, I worked my butt off, and at first I would be able to fake it good enough for the first week if I was lucky. And the things went downhill fast. A complaint that I was overbearing with customers. A complaint I stood too close to customers. Another complaint that I was "odd".
I have had meltdowns at work, one of which required me to be removed by mall security. I have been frozen in my car and needed my father to come coax me out so I could attempt to work for the day. During my longest job, I spent the last two months crying every night and throwing up every morning. The stress of trying to fit in coupled with the stress of trying to do my work perfectly becomes so enourmous I cannot handle it.
I'm working very hard to get my internet business off the ground and do something with my writing career that will result in money. It hasn't been easy at all, but I keep plugging away at it.
And I want to make a point about writing on an internet forum, which also speaks to people saying real Aspies wouldn't use a forum at all. Online, we are communicating with people on OUR terms, not forced to the rules of theirs. At a job, we are forced to abide by NT rules in an NT world ruled by NT motives. There's a big difference.
_________________
Just Forget The Words And Sing Along,
@-->--- Gypsy ---<--@
Mj1 I'm in the same position you are. I had alot of trouble with feeling I should be moving out and having a life at 20, because thanks to the emotional abuse I got from the Special Ed people at my high school, I was brainwashed into beliving the only answer was to be as NT as possible. It was alot of trouble deciding between what I need for myself, and what I feel like I should be doing.
Right now I'm fine with where I'm at, my parents are really understanding. I can't cook anything that's not microwavable, because I have a sensitivity to heat. Like, so if I were to pour something into a pot of boiling water for example, the heat from the steam would over-activate my flight-or-fight response. It took me awhile to get used to the steam that comes off of microwave meals when you take off the plastic sheet, but I'm ok with that now.
I think perhaps alot of parents who have special needs children, become so used to being overprotective it becomes normal. I think you should be glad you don't have parents who kick you out of the house at 18 and say, "Good luck at College!" Or parents who try to force you to fake being NT as much as possible, even if it's a deficit to your mental health & well-being.
I have found alot of NT people, will put you down for not being out on your own out of resentment. They're jelous that their parents kicked them out into the world, and that they have to have a job. So they're like, "Why don't YOU have to have a job? What makes YOU sooo special!" If you think of it that way, then really you don't feel like you are losing out because you're overprotected. That the people who are calling you the R-word are jelous cause they're missing out.
_________________
"Sprinkle, sprinkle, little bar, what I wonder is a cat" - Cheese from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends
