If Aspergers is a gift, why do lots of people here moan

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Library_Ann
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07 Sep 2008, 4:06 pm

Meowpurr wrote:

Does anyone else see how our society is crumbling as a result of such extremities?

"the largest disability...

Meowpurr wrote:

ectrum is the inability of non-autistic culture to accommodate their differences in respectful, empowering, and constructive ways" -- Donna Williams

"You're captives of a civilizational system that more or less compels you to go on destroying the world in order to live."--Daniel Quinn
He was referring to physical destruction of our ecosystem, but I think it's also a metaphor for your point.
______________________________________________________________________________

Meowpurr wrote:

It's just society decided that education wasn't as valuable as the gift of gab and fashion sense.

The good news here is that these social perceptions tend to cycle; remember how nerds were idolized twenty years ago? The checks and balances of Social Psychology and Cultural Anthropology will bring us back into NTs' good graces eventually. They still won't understand us, but at least they will have rediscovered our cultural value (if we can't be respected, at least we'll be useful?!?!).

DentArthurDent
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07 Sep 2008, 4:48 pm

lionesss wrote:

I didn't think it was possible to have AS and have any form of MR at the same time. And secondly why would you assume such a thing about yourself? Having strengths and weaknesses is everyone's story. Sad thing is, a lot of us focus on our weaknesses....

Unfortunately it is, my partner works with a couple of AS kids that have ID's (Intellectual Disabilities) to have an ID you need to have an IQ of less than 70. These kids really cop it. She is trying to work with the teaches to get the other kids to understand what is going on. Trouble with AS from her perspective is that although the kids she works with have a disorder and in some caes an ID as well they 'look' normal. The kids that look or sound like they have a disability automatically have allowances made for them, the AS group has nothing obviously wrong and are just seen as being pains in the arse.

Poor woman has AS around her 24/7

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DentArthurDent
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07 Sep 2008, 4:53 pm

Zonder wrote:

I attended several different schools before high school, was bullied at most of them, and discovered a few things about bullies and bullying:

1. The bullying was often the result of how I responded to the other kids. In the 9th grade, when I realized (completely on my own) that I was partly culpable for how I was treated, I worked very hard to change how I responded. That was how I dealt with bullying, but I realize that it won't necessarily work for everyone else.

2. In hindsight, some of the bullies were NT and others had ASD. Since I was a magnet for bad treatment, once it started, all were free to join in, no matter their neurological profile.

3. Once I began to change my behavior, how I responded, and my appearance (btw, pocket protectors are way not cool), the bullying stopped. I was still traumatized from the former treatment, but once it stopped, I had to force myself to give up the anger I felt towards the former bullies. Unreconciled anger can be terribly self-destructive.

4. Bullies and their targets do grow up, and many essentially grow out of that bully-victim behavior. Often the bullies don't even remember how they treated "the weird kid" or realize how much trauma they caused their targets.

5. Those with ASD who have terrific long-term memory will have a hard time forgiving their former tormentors, but I believe it is worth the effort.

Z

Beautifully put :hail:

Sorenna
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07 Sep 2008, 5:35 pm

I am in the camp that it sucks. Yes, I like that I can understand things like Greek, but so do NT's. I can't see any advantage to AS.

For those who do, I envy you because you have made peace with it. To me it's just a magnet for perverts and frustration and both mental and physical fragility.

But I am glad to be alive, don't get me wrong. And I am glad I had a chance.

But I see it like this: In order to survive AS, you have to be either very rich to afford all those schools and camps and therapists to make you feel like you can make it OR have a very lucky life and have no priests target you because they know you are weak.

Lucky and rich OR be really really smart and always have the bigger picture before your eyes when you are sitting in a homeless shelter because your family can't take it or when you get thrown in prison because you messed up and could not speak up or into another nuthouse because you had a public meltdown. Or all the above.

Life on Earth+AS=almost impossible.

TheMidnightJudge
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07 Sep 2008, 11:42 pm

If people can pity themselves it makes them feel alive in a way. Autism is a handy excuse for self pity. I've used it before, though I don't anymore.

kleodimus
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08 Sep 2008, 12:52 am

nts have the ability to treat people for what they CANT do and not what they can do hence alot of our negative reactions

JWRed
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08 Sep 2008, 12:56 am

Ishmael wrote:

socializing 'till you die.

If you were NT, you would enjoy socializing and could not live without it. Like a fish can not live without water, NTs can not live without socializing.

Danielismyname
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08 Sep 2008, 1:17 am

I'd like to cut my [left] arm off for the fun of it, really.

philosopherBoi
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08 Sep 2008, 1:39 am

For every face of a coin their is an opposite side asperger's is a blessing but the demands on someone who has it can be stressful. If given a chance to start over and be born again as an NT I would say not way. Since I have asperger's my eyes have opened in ways that most cannot even fathom.

Anyway a lot of stress we deal with is from NTs and their inability to accept who we are. NTs don't like those who don't conform to their standards of normal and no matter how much they try we stay who we are. NTs of course hate that and say we needed to be fixed or cured because they don't like that we don't fall in line and conform.

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z0rp
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08 Sep 2008, 1:48 am

Erm, Because it's not a gift. In my experience anyhow it isn't.

beau99
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08 Sep 2008, 2:02 am

IRWEASEL wrote:

Nearly every thread I see is negative, "I'm bullied" "No friends" "Im a virgin" "I'm depressed" "I hate school/life"

What's wrong with being a virgin?

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Zonder
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08 Sep 2008, 6:35 am

DentArthurDent wrote:

Beautifully put :hail:

Thanks DentArthurDent - First time I've received the hand-thingy emoticon!

Z

Miyah
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08 Sep 2008, 6:50 am

People are moaning at Asperger's because they are frusteratned with it as I was for so many years. In addition, many people are probably living with parents who are told, "They can't, they can't they can,'t," and that's what's causing the moaning and frusteration.

howzat
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08 Sep 2008, 7:47 am

Even though im gifted at the same time i have problems such as social interaction not getting anywhere in life no job n so on.

Zonder
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08 Sep 2008, 8:07 am

Miyah wrote:

. . .many people are probably living with parents who are told, "They can't, they can't they can,'t," and that's what's causing the moaning and frustration.

Or, like me, they were told: "You're smart but you're lazy." "You're not applying yourself." "You're not trying hard enough." "You could do anything if you really wanted to."

As hard as I tried, it was frustrating to hear those things, too.

Z

princesseli
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08 Sep 2008, 11:50 am

I dont see it as a gift, theres a lot of stuff that it was so much harder for me to do that NTs dont get. Theres an extreme difficulty with finding a real community of people that actually like me. People look down on my behavior, I get scolded a lot from my parents, I get bad reactions from strangers(even if nothing offensive came out of my mouth), i've had profs/teachers dislike me when they were no longer taking into account whether the way the kid actually presents themself. It took me 19 damn years to find people who actually like me for after I've worked so damn hard learning how to socialize.

Yes I would perfer to be NT. I dont nessarily find NTs superiors to aspies nor do I find visa versa. It would just be easier to be NT in most cases.

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