Do other Aspies Piss you off?

Post Reply New Topic

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi1npkqifnE&feature=related[/youtube]

Okay I-Return and MemberSix. Maybe it's time for you two to get out of the house go to a local bar and start hitting on women?

This has got to be one of the funniest things I have ever read. Seriously. High rate of inaccuracy here. Thinking that most people do not say the dumbest s**t as the OP put it. What reality does the OP live in? Must not live in the US if he thinks that Aspies are the ones saying the dumbest s**t. I have heard soooo much idiocy from sooooo many people and no one can blame it on anything but the fact they are idiots.

Black and White Thinking. Sometimes they make sense, sometimes they don't. You cannot have everything on your terms all the time. You are being soooo ASPIE!

I never hit women.
(Well, only if they ask)

I've always been pretty reticent about approaching ladypeople.

I'd always wait until they'd shown some sort of interest in me (you know, eye-flirting and stuff) rather than speculatively bowling up to them.
And even if they DO show interest, I'm still too scared of blowing it to grow the kajungas to make a play.
Waaay to risky for a chickensh*t dude like me.

Don't girls find that a level of inconfidence a turn-off anyway ?

What's the best policy here, for a guy like me ?

I can talk to anyone - heads of multi-national conglomerates, dustmen, gangstas .... name it.
But when it comes to a woman - even one who's showing interest .... I'm at a complete loss.

And no 'grow some balls' replies, thanks.

Some do, some don't. The difficult part is determining who does, who doesn't. This is why some stick with dating services and skip the bar scene. I don't know if the OP is the guy in Ohio complaining because Aspies don't spend enough time in bars but bars are not always the best places to find dates anyway.


Reading what the OP posted, seems we should just go out and stalk people and hope they will give in and be our friends or date us because we leave them no choice.
Just kidding.
I wonder seriously, how good at socializing the OP is. I get the feeling from reading what he posted he is insecure about his own abilities to socialize and is projecting them onto all the Aspies. How very NT of him, lol!

I tell you what I do find a bit tedious with Aspoids.
And that's I-Return's observation on them, that they can't generalise.
IOW, that they can't see the differences between different types of people/situations/etc.
A total wood for the trees blindness.

Whether it's feigned blindness most of the time, I don't know.
I figure it must be - but it's next to impossible to tell when so many display the lack of common sense they do .... and then go and exacerbate things by feigning said blindness.

So many Aspies seem totally to miss the point.

We ?

Are you a lady of Lesbia ?

Sounds like someone has internalized aspie-phobia.

Actually, I'm not sure that's true.

I think the OP's sentiments are borne of frustration and not intolerance.

It's not uncommon to find that people find lower functioning Aspies frustrating to discuss ideas with - not least when they exhibit highly partisan, NT-phobic mindsets, making objective discussion a near-impossibility.

The natural social order is for those further towards the NT end of the spectrum to bully those further towards the Autie end .... REGARDLESS of where they themselves may be on the scale.

So Aspie frustration with Auties is manifest in pretty much the same way as NT frustration with Aspies.

The difference being that the closer to the Autie end you get, the more 'reason' there is for that frustration. Obviously because Auties tend to be blinder and less objective than Aspies.

Apart from that, there are fewer mitigators for those towards the Autie end - like humour and the insight required for self-mockery ... and not taking yourself too seriously.

I agree with Kilroy here, NTs are nicer by default since they are social animals and rely on appearances.

question is whether you prefer people to be nice or honest (I'm not saying it doesn't ever happen simultaneously though).

I sure wouldn't want to date an aspie- I need someone to constantly pull me out of my bubble and with a fellow aspie that just wouldn't work I guess...

Maybe, but I'm trying to say that NTs whine too. But not all NTs or aspies whine. Besides, some of us find whining (I call it venting) therapeutic. But most aspies do vent a lot. Should they be called put down for it? No



No one is better or worse than anyone else. Maybe it's false hope but at least they feel good about themselves. Besides, why do you care what others think? I try not to most of the time. Maybe I'm stuck up too, but I don't go around accusing others of being stuck up.



Well yeah, a lot of them do, but it is all part of Aspergers.



Most of the time, aspies don't realize what they say is dumb, no reason to chastise them for it. As for generalizing, do you really think I don't know to generalize? I'm just trying to point out that people aren't always the same as what is considered general. Just because I point out exceptions doesn't mean I don't know how to generalize. Jumping to conclusions a bit are we?



There are two big ones: Risking one's life to be accepted and paying an arm and a leg to match the latest fashion when you can get good clothes for a lot less. Who knows, maybe that last one is sensible, but I'd rather save as much money as I can. Unless you're in the business itself, fashion doesn't put food on the table. As for the others, they may make sense but I'm in the process of learning.



Okay, so maybe it is the norm for aspies in general. I'm just trying to point out that there are differences. And again assuming that I don't know how to generalize. Maybe I'm doing the same thing myself, but I think you're quick to jump to conclusions.





Again, can't argue with that either. I used to be blind to how to live life myself. As stated earlier, I'm still learning. I'm also finding that everyone no matter who they may be are always learning how to live life.

While it is true that all of these things are indeed typical aspie traits, but why not leave them alone if you're not happy with them. There is no reason to get upset over them, what impact does the actions of aspies I've never met have on my life or anyone else's. I've seen some negative posts toward aspies recently. While it is a result of bigotry created by negative feelings that aspies have toward NTs, that is no reason to become a bigot yourself. No, aspies are not perfect by any means but who is?

I get the feeling that no matter what I say, it won't be good enough so I'll just leave it here. Maybe I'm totally wrong in everything I said, but I think there is enough hatred in this world without these kind of attacks on both sides. If someone doesn't stand up and at least try to uphold peace, then who will?

-They whine a lot.

I do admit to whining… which I am trying to control. It can get irritating at times if a person is always bitching about something.

However whining is coping mechanism, for me. It helps me get things off my chest. Otherwise I tend to hold it all in and explode in a fiery wrath.




-They can't take any criticism.

I use to really struggle with criticism. It felt like they where attacking me personally. I had little confidence in myself and at times I’d get overly excited and proud when I did do something. Then when people would tell me they didn’t like it, often times it would be hard to take.

I’m getting better at that though. Being able to take criticism to me requires self confidence in oneself.

Also there is a difference between criticism and insulting a person. Some people confuse the two.







-They only see things from their point of view.

This applies to most people I think.

I don’t even know myself very well, so at times it is hard for me to see why someone else would behave in a way that seems irrational to me. I am trying to make the effort however to see how it is like in the other perons' shoes.








-They think--without ANY evidence- that having Asperger's somehow makes them smarter.

I think it does make us smarter in some ways. We see things from a different prospective. Most people with aspegers do tend to have a higher IQ then average.

In some ways, perhaps they proclaim they are smarter than average due to people perceiving they are slow because of aspergers. So theyattempt to prove the person wrong, although often times they tend to try to hard.

I don’t like people who go around proclaiming they are smarter than everyone rather that be aspire or NT however.







-They confuse being detailed with being smart.

Like knowing every single world series winner in the history of MLB baseball or knowing other such knowledge?

I would think that would require some level of intelligence to be ale to research and retain the information.







-They always say dumb sh**.

What do you mean? Like they say things at times that don’t seem to fit the conversation or what?

I admit I sat stupid things at times. I don’t intend for them to come out that way, but they do as I tend to get easily confused about certain things. I don’t see why this would bother people, unless of course they are saying stupid s**t on purpose.








-They assume social rules are illogical just because they don't care to understand the underlying rationales.

Most do seem illogical to me, I admit. It seems to me that as long as a person acts respectful and kind to others it shouldn’t matter if they are a little quirky and don’t follow all the unwritten rules.







-You correct them, then they go back to doing what they did before whenever you tell them they improved.

It is hard to change simply because someone tells them to. It takes lots of time and lots of effort if a person is trying to change a behavior that has been with them their entire life.





As for the not asking the girl out...


I do admit I am terrified of doing the same (with a guy) due to the way a lot of guys have treated me in the past. I become utterly terrified and my mind flashes baxck to what happend to me in the past.

I know not all guys, or eve most are like the ones I encountered, but it doesn't make the apprehension any easier.

I do tend to balme myself more than others. Eeven a bit to much at times.

'LF' has nothing to do with how well you discuss something with a person with AS.

What you spoke of is opinion, which is unconnected to functioning labels.



Autie frustration with those aspies is the same, I might add.

Especially with those who spread stereotypes of how they think classical autism and people with classical are like.



Actually, I found many people with AS quite adapt with basic socialising, ability to learn a basic understanding of how social interaction must work but with little or no ability of self-reflection.

There seem to be quite a lot people with classical who have this profile, just upside down. Good self-reflection, bad automatic/'natural' knowledge of how social interaction works.

I always found that quite odd.

It could be that I have met just a few extraordinary people and that most people with classical and AS are so diverse that generalisation is impossible.



Did you read post of people with classical on WP? This statement indicates you did not, which is of course possible seeing how the forums are huge and seeing how quite some of the people with classical on here get mistaken for people with AS.

Other than that, that's just stereotyping with no basis. Aspies = more objective? I've yet to meet an aspie like that.

I don't know if it's about not having his way. I invited him to come here because he was diagnosed with AS and he joined but then didn't like it because he didn't like what he saw here. he will not go to any aspie forums. He did go to I2 for a shortbit but said there was too much drama and I told him there isn't bitching and moaning there about our condition but he didn't care, he said he doesn't like drama.

I don't think there is lot of bitching and moaning here. He must have his own view on it what it is. My view on it is posting about your problems over and over and over. But if you are talking about different things, asking if anyone has this problem or that problem, I don't see it as bitching and moaning.

If people don't like what they see on forums, they can leave or ignore it or deal with it.

Erm... no.

I almost wonder, though, if you see all those things, in any people who fit, or seem to fit, those four things. Like you see one thing, and then you assume the rest are there, so you interpret all their behavior in terms of it.

I have noticed that you can take one person, and present them in three different lights to someone. And then you actually show them that person. And each will tend to view that one same person's behavior, in those three different lights it was originally presented to them in.

And if you seriously believe that any person who has (or seems to have) one of those traits will fit your whole profile, then it sounds as if you are falling victim to that same cognitive distortion. It's not that they are all that way, it's that you are interpreting totally innocent behavior as examples of the above. (For instance, if someone says something positive about autism, I bet you think that they don't see anything negative about it. I can't think of any other way you could come to the conclusions you're coming to.)

Actually, technically? The term is hypervigilance. It's usually a sign of PTSD, and directly related to being traumatized, rather than sort of popping up out of nowhere as a result of a faulty thought process somewhere along the line. It is easily mistaken for paranoia, and Tony Attwood writes on that topic extensively.

Hate to wikiquote, but:



I tend to disagree with the differentiation in #3, though, because sometimes a person can be so much caught up in their own hypervigilance that they believe the threat (now gone or at least diminished) is still there (although this can be changed with time), or else are so defensive about it they won't admit it even though they know. And some people who are paranoid can come to recognize that they are prone to paranoid thinking, and compensate for it, but the process is different than with hypervigilance.