glider18's Wonderful World of Autism

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Aw, c'mon Greentea. I run across lots of people who want to talk to some aspie about the aesthetics of Chinese calligraphy. I can hardly get a moment to myself.

It's almost as popular as listening to music.

My goal is to survive, my passion is a roof and food - not even all my AS focus can give me that, as CanyonWind very well implies with his example.

I have nothing against those Aspies who want a thread to themselves to celebrate (and perhaps thank God for) the fact that they're lucky enough not to have to experience the horrendous aspect of autism that is the impossibility to be independent and make a basic living. But call it like it is, LUCKY, and don't gloat like you're the POSITIVE Aspies and we're the NEGATIVE.

Rather than YOUR PERSONAL WONDERFUL world of Autism, as if this was YOUR personal achievement or discovery, you should call this thread: "We, the lucky ones."

That's all I'm asking - that you be humble enough to admit that you guys are luckier than most Aspies. Did you ever stop to think that you don't even know the great majority of Aspies? Because they're doing so badly they'd never be able to afford internet access to even discover that their hell has a neurological reason, is called Asperger's, and you wouldn't meet them on this website.

I thank God all the time for having had a job long enough before they fired me, that I was able to buy a computer and connect to the internet. I also thank God that, among all the abuse my parents brought me up with, they did one good thing and paid for English lessons for me, so I was able to surf the international web for answers and discover the existence of AS at all.

^ I do think i am very, very lucky and i do think one always has to remember how difficult the struggle is for others.
The past few years my life has taken an upward turn. IT was not always like that.
BUt I never want to forget how it was and how others here on WP may face really difficult times that are similar to what i have also experienced in terms of homelessness, the need for food, the struggle to survive in a world that does not cater for us.

My heart and concern goes out to those today who are doing it tough. I know what it is like.
I wish everyone well.

I haven't noticed any gloating here, I see it more as a thread to focus on positive aspects of autism. What's wrong with that? If I'd thought there was any elitism in this thread I wouldn't have posted in it, but that's not the way I understood it at all. Are members not allowed to talk about the positive aspects of AS?

I'm well aware of how hard life can be for those of us on the spectrum, I've battled depression for 30+ years for one thing, life certainly hasn't been easy. At the moment life's OK. That's not gloating, I say that with a sense of relief, an acknowledgement of the tough times, and fingers crossed because I know how easily things can go pear-shaped. I have a lot of sympathy with anyone who's having it tough at the moment. But I don't see anything wrong with a positive thread. Surely there's plenty of room at WP for everyone's perspective on autism. For one thing, I think it's helpful for the younger members to read about AS in a positive light sometimes.

Then go back and read the thread.



I don't believe you'd be happy discovering that your inability to fit in in a work environment is inborn and unchangeable, if you didn't have any natural talents and/or minimal external financial sources to keep a roof and food supply otherwise.



I don't believe you're such a "POSITIVE", "WONDERFUL-WORLD" PERSON that you'd choose your autism over your survival. Obviously, you're one of the lucky few, Aspie or NT, who have physical survival more or less covered regardless.

It was the only way I could interact at the time; I found comfort in the rhyme (the iterations are less than in an open structure). After a while, I was able to converse in a more...normal manner.

Hi Daniel, there is something comforting about the rhyme. I have written several poems, and it is interesting to look back at some of them. It is a way to communicate to the world our emotions. Gee---it has always been difficult to just come out vocally and say how I feel. So the poem is a great choice. I taught 10th and 12th grade English for 19 years before becoming a gifted intervention specialist, and I can tell you Daniel---your poetry is a gift.

I have really enjoyed seeing your gifts here on the WrongPlanet. And I think we all enjoyed fiddlerpianist's fiddle playing---I know I did. And we enjoyed sunshower's singing about the children's prayer---truly a gift. And there are many more of you with these talents too I would love to comment on. I just named a few recent ones.

Now...in all fairness, I should try to put my music on here too and share. But, I have to figure out how to get it on here. Help!! ! .

I have a digital video camera that uses the small discs. If I record myself, do I have to download it to something like Youtube then link it to here?

Yes, it's a gift (as well as hard work). An ability to remain within a conventional system such as Education for so long is not 100% a personal feat of ""positivism"" either. For masses of autistics like me, it's an unattainable dream, however much hard work we may put into it.

I would be luckier if I could find a job that I can actually do with decent people around me who aren't looking at me like I am totally insane, treating me like I have no brain, reprimanding me only because they can (not because I am the worst employee they have) and being paranoid. Why can't they just treat me like they do everyone else? Why is it so hard? If I gave them good enough reason to act that way I could understand it but I don't.

My current job is entitled Gifted Intervention Specialist---my responsibilites are to offer support and motivation to academically gifted students (IQ of 128 and above). It is strange that I was labelled gifted in school (at that time they did not utilize IQ scores in the selection process---instead they surveyed the teachers as to whom they thought should be in the program). Now, after becoming the Gifted Intervention Specialist, I go on a "journey of discovery" and end up being diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Then it all makes sense after over 40 years of trying to figure myself out. I went to my old school and found my IQ score---it was 111---not academically gifted. But still, my IQ was higher than 84% of the population. But I have never given much importance to IQ scores. In all my years of wondering about myself, I would never have imagined that I was autistic---but it is one of those things like Poe's "Purloined Letter," so obvious that I overlooked it. It was clearly in front of me the whole time, glaring at me like the sun in a mirror, shouting my name, "Tim, this is who you are!! !...Tim, autism is the reason you are the way you are!! !" It took me 44 years to look in that mirror and see it. My life has been fun, and it has been challenging. Now, with my motto in place "My journey has just begun," I look forward to pushing myself to achieve my goals in life. I know now what is in my "toolbox" of life. My family has a better understanding of me. And now I push onward---with the hopes of keeping a positive outlook on my future.

Greentea, you're being too negative and that's your only problem.

Take me for example. Because I have a positive attitude about my autism, I've been able to build a career using my talents.

I'm pretty good with a pick and shovel.

Of course I'm getting old now, but everything will be fine as long as I embrace the positive aspects of autism.

Due to my NLD, I'm brilliant with languages. I master 3 at mother tongue level and another 3 partially. Problem's no employer wants to talk to me in any of them for long.

I desperately wanted to be proven wrong on this thread. The fact that nobody was able to has filled me with even more terror for my future.

I have been thinking about this quote ever since I read it while ago. It's a quote that I want to remember as I get older and meet new challenges in life. When I walked out of that office last year with an official diagnosis---I felt new...I felt like I had a new beginning...and everything seemed brighter (figuratively). I drove home on that lonely 4-lane highway with my life replaying in front of me. I told myself, "My journey has just begun." Then it was research...research...research. I even dug out all of my parents' old home movies of my childhood. I had the old 8mm movies transferred to DVD, and then watched my childhood from a new perspective. I even showed segments of it to my therapist who responded about what a "ritualistic" child I was. I watched those films with a fascination---analyzing all my peculiar movements and eccentric manners. Then, I thought about all the challenges I had during my childhood---the times I felt I had disappointed my father (a former professional baseball player) with my infinite array of strike-outs during little league baseball, and the times my allergies worried my mother to the point that she had to gather all her courage to get me to the doctor---she thought something was severly wrong with me. But now, things seemed fresh like Spring. I knew where I had grown from---autism. I focused on the good things in my life---my music, my intense interests, etc. And I decided that was the healthiest approach to maintaining psychological well-being. I had mostly enjoyed life, and I vowed to enjoy the rest of it too. That is what I am doing---and that is my challenge for everyone.

CanyonWind, please do tell us what music has been inspiring your Psychological wellbeing in the woods where you've been roaming for food lately? I'd like to get the same CD for my own starvation enlightened joy---and that is my challenge for everyone.

Perfect pitch? It's probably connected to my ASD somehow. I don't find true joy in this as I've never been musically educated, so I'm not sure if this one counts.

No other talents that I know of.

Though maybe there is, after all, something that I have that is in very strange ways related to experiencing a life with autism:
no things have the power to make you happy or sad for more than a sometimes weak, sometimes utterly intense but always passing moment because being alive is by itself pure joy.

I often wish, people would think more like that. Sure, many things make me very happy or sad for a fleeting moment, but it never lasts and it doesn't have an impact on my inner core.

I wonder what it would be like if you experienced these many fleeting moments but would not have that indestructible, untouchable joy inside of you.

Things are good (not positive, but acceptable, right, fitting) as they are even if they're purest cruelty because joy in life cannot be taken.

When I discovered autism, my initial thought that this inner state came from it.

And while other autistic people don't reflect that, I still think that it's partly my own unique autism plays a major role why I expereince life like that.

My only understanding is that happiness is within us, it's present and doesn't need to be discovered or unlocked. We don't need to do something for it, we don't need to have talents for it and neither do mistakes and deficits rob us of it. It's there from the moment that we become aware of ourselves as living beings and we only have to allow it.

Then, maybe, I'm just too socially stupid to understand other people in that aspect. I ask people, but my friends and peers say they don't understand. I wondered if it is because for others, live is about showing and giving.

A talent is something that contributes to something. Gifts, talents, that's all relative to something, comparable to something and they have an opposite (lack of gift, deficits). But I can't imagine that for some people true joy comes from contributing or comparing. It such an odd concept to me.

Ahhhh, that screws my brain thinking about it, moments like these make me wonder if I'm truly autistic. I may just be an alien for all I know because I can't comprehend things as important to others as these and this topic.

How were you hoping to be proven wrong? Give me your premise and I will do my best to do so.

I am and always have been an optimist. I also consider myself to be very lucky. In my mind, these two things are very closely related. I am convinced that my optimism has gotten me through the tougher times in my life. Were I a pessimist, I don't think I'd be doing so well, and I'd probably be suffering from depression given my AS tendencies. My optimism may sound trite and insincere to you, but I can assure you that it is not.

Don't get me wrong, I think some of us are given relatively awful cards to play in life. While we can't change the hand we've been dealt, don't underestimate the human spirit, though, and most importantly, don't underestimate yourself. We as humans are capable of achieving absolutely remarkable things from awful situations. It takes perseverance and spirit, but it happens.

AS gives us more challenges to deal with, varying in intensity and size. For many, it downright sucks most of the time. Some of us that have it more mildly certainly have it easier, but are we truly luckier?

It sounds like you know what your gifts are but don't feel like celebrating them. That is perfectly understandable, as it sounds like you have a really challenging situation. I could completely see why you would think a thread like this would be very annoying.

I don't think a single person on WP would say, "I am so glad I am autistic because it has made my life so much easier!" When someone says, "I'm glad I'm autistic because..." they mean that, although life has presented them with many challenges, life is still wonderful and they couldn't imagine not being able to have the perspective that they do. If you could go back and have your mind altered so that you were more NT but would fundamentally lose your current perspective on the world, would you do it? Life would certainly be easier.

The fact is that you can't change who you are. You can face all of this and make the best of it, they may always be able to help you. Your skills may not be helping you make ends meet right now, but try not to blame them for your problems. I know that is is really, really difficult to do, but we don't effectively cope otherwise.

Of course we all need to survive and will do what it takes to do that. But please do not forget that you have gifts. They may be your greatest asset, and they are an integral part of who you are. By celebrating your gifts, you are celebrating you.

Hang in there, and don't give up!