The autism social rule book.

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When someone has a new dress and is trying it on just before going out, and they say 'I'm not sure I like it,' or 'I don't think it suits me,' they are probably fishing for compliments. No matter what you think, you have to say 'You look fine/pretty/great,' in reply.

Found that out the hard way.

If you are having any furniture delivery people over to your (new) place, make sure you tip them. I realized this in hindsight with my long-term memory - about 10 years ago, just before I got my Aspergers Dx, I moved into a 1-bedroom apartment (or flat, if you prefer). (I had a successful IT job that was well suited to my traits ) So a couple of delivery guys brought over a new coffee table and side tables, then at the end said "ok, well, we've got to head out now, and get home to our families." I took the day off for the delivery, and since it was still fairly early on, my guess in hindsight was that they still had more deliveries to do, but they used that line as a cue. After getting my diagnosis, I reflected on this and other recent experiences, and since then I tipped delivery people of all kinds.

I've always been worried about boring the other person to tears, as in too much information. So my rule is just being conservative with what you say, and if they ask for more info, then go ahead.

Rule number whatever we are on.

You cannot possibly remember all of the rules, so don't read everyone of them, but try and remember one or two that you have broken recently, and go out in the real world and practice.

Don't be afraid to interact with them, if they start acting angry by shouting or crying, then listen to them very closely, don't make a scene, and then go along, just move on.

Don't tell stupid lies for no reason. Lie only when really necessary. Don't make the same mistake I did a few years ago when I boasted to my best friend that I was going out with a man who she knew I fancied, but I wasn't really going out with him. Then one day she phoned up and asked if he was at my house (not sure why) and my mum answered it and said something like, ''no, she doesn't hardly know him.''

s**t! Cringe!

Rule #???

Try not to wear socially "awkward" clothes. Even if you don't like the current fashion, you won't stand out and learn the hard way, today I wore purple pants.

Rule no. ...

Do not try to find logic in social rules. Social rules are the code of community. In social situations, all that matters is that you pay attention to how the other person signals the turn of a conversation and you have to adapt to it. Only bring up a new idea when the other person has finished his or her thought. Try not to bring up thoughts irrelevant to the conversation as a whole. Conversation is about call and response. You have to interact with the other person.

If someone gets a haircut, your suppose to compliment it even if it doesn't look good.

I thought your advice was pretty good. Being that your NT, it seems pretty well representative of NT representation. There is plenty of cynicism and mockery in this thread about NTs which I have also contributed to.

Very true, NTs are social creatures (mostly) whereas majority of those on the spectrum aren't. The idea of small talk is simply a way to facilitate social interaction and create an friendly, welcoming atmosphere. Course most aspies find small talk pointless and boring. And even if we don't, we often stumble on small talk whereas for NTs small talk is second nature. There are certain enviorenments that are more likely to discuss politics and science then others. I know things back and forth from the aspie perspective and the NT perspective.

Don't put hairs on other people's carpet. Even though they aren't noticable and are going to get hoovered up anyway, evidentally it's still inappropriate.

rule number 1,000. It is ok to reset the rule counter when the numbers are lost in the annals of time

I don't know if a rule book can ever be created since we as Aspergers and autistic people, all have our own different circumstances. But one of the things I've learned to do is show interest in another's discussions, hobbies, work and anything else that applies. I ask them questions and don't hardly say anything about mine unless I'm asked about something. When I was much younger I only wanted to talked about my own things. But if you can make the change that I did it shows that you are interested in the other person's things.

Another thing that I was bad about is acting like a know-it-all. There wasn't anything I didn't know acting like an authority on all. But, again, I realized the errors of my ways and changed them because I really don't know it all and like most of us need advice from time to time.

And like me, it may take many of you with Aspergers and autism years to start realizing your problems too, So, I think, even reading a rule book isn't really going to help unless we can realize we have a problem.

#1001 Never start a sentence with "What they meant by that is..."

#1002 - When an NT says they would love to help you with something, that doesn't always really mean they mean it. Remind them once, but then move on if they don't or they will start getting angry at you for "embarrassing" them (though they won't admit that, either).

Don't put yourself down on Facebook. People will get fed up reading your doom and gloom, and will just take you as a miserable complainer.

Also, don't post about your obsessions on Facebook. Once or twice or every so often is OK, but not almost every day. People will start presuming you're really obsessed, and so will get freaked out and/or bored with you, and will be afraid of arranging a meet-up with you because of the fear that you will keep on talking about your obsessions to them.

And finally, don't put too much personal stuff on Facebook. Even if you only have a few people who you know on it and privatised it so only confirmed friends can read your posts, that still doesn't mean it's private. The people who you have got on Facebook might spread gossip about you to other people, until half the town knows about your personal business. So be careful what you put.

Can I just say that all three of these rules are what I've learnt about Facebook in the passed 3 or 4 months.

Rules?? The rules are "unwritten" for NTs, but fortunately can be learned or memorized as it were. Has anyone ever been shocked or awed at how easily someone else lies?? You know the person is flat out lying and can't believe it. People really can play games and tell lies so easily and also tell little white lies. That does get easier since you do not want to hurt someone's feelings, telling a white lie is pretty easy to do.
"It is better to be kind than right." (Heard that one today).