First time in history!! !! The NT/AS open hotline ! !! !! !

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So like I said in the hello thread, I've had a strange day. A lil bit about me, I'm a completely self diagnosed Aspie. I really just figured out this, like a few hours ago. But I'd love, maybe a second opinion.

So I have been confused a lot of my life. Diagnosed anxiety, diagnosed depression. I literally was in therapy for years and was terrible to deal with. Frankly because I lied to my therapist, and wasn't dumb about it. Whatever, we both figured out the relationship was not working, parted ways.

So to now, I just broke up with a pretty terrible girl. The depression started again, but I can't take it anymore I need to figure this out. I need to be happy, my life has been largely been a waste. But things are starting to go well for me. Yet I am doing everything I can to hit rock bottom again. Regardless, I've been very introspective as of late, as I get just because, I'm really not sure why but I don't think anybody actually truly gets me. I have gone through very depressed and very anxious for most of my life. It all really started becoming a problem when I went away to college.

What I am getting at though is the girl straight up called me a selfish butt, (I'm assuming it is family friendly here). My roommates really try hard to understand me, but I don't talk to them I have shut myself up in my room unhappy, unable to make myself happy. I couldn't figure it out, my therapist couldn't help, my parents were almost unwilling to help.

Quite frankly, I don't know if I'm an aspy or not. Hopefully my therapist can help me out, but I'm just trying to figure out what is going on in my brain, thus I'm here. So NT's, Aspies? What is your call, I'm more than willing to answer any questions or clarify if I was unclear. Unfortunately I just started posting anything on the internet. I'm kind of new at this.

Thank You.

Hi PlatedDrake, thanks for responding.

I actually did take the Aspie-quiz. In that my Aspie score was 147 with an NT of 84. Which absolutely perplexes me. I don't really have too many social issues....now. I can remember all of my childhood wondering what other people meant by this. I've done a lot of work with my anxiety to calm myself when I start getting into a loop of wondering.

I can remember talking to my therapist about a conversation I had. Did not have to be anything in particular, just a normal conversation. I would literally get myself into an absolute panic. I could understand, maybe, what they said to me. But I could never quite understand the emotion behind it.

Notice this is all in the past tense. I have put a lot of myself into trying to calm the anxiety I feel in social situations. It doesn't help that I am a salesman. That being said, I still am very afraid of people. I still don't really understand them, completely. I isolate myself completely, when I am not at my job. I am in my room, thinking. But I have learned that while most people do not get my humor or personality, being unabashedly polite and charming gets me through most social situations.

Quite frankly, I don't associate with a lot of the social aspects of being an aspie any more. But I really do associate with everything else. Strangely that is what the aspie quiz said too, the only thing I relate to being NT is Social, Hunting and perception. Everything else is so close to aspieness that it is utterly confusing. Like I said in my first post, I believe a therapist will be able to help me much more than anyone else. Which is why I have an appointment. But this is just absolutely interesting to me.

Asperger's explains a lot of how I have lived my life. So it is very interesting to be thinking about the last 20 years.

Well, you're not the first, and definitely not the last, to find a "oh, that explains me" moment. Quite a few here didnt get diagnosed, and likewise the help they needed, until their forties or later. I got mine at 28 and eventually got some level of help 6 months or so afterwords. As some people say, whatever it takes to get you started on your own path .

I was going to pose a similar question, only coming at it from a different direction. I was going to ask how neurotypical someone could be and still be an Aspie? I have a friend that every time I explain some frustrating situation to her, she standard reply is starting to be, "Are you sure you're not an Aspie?"

Here are a few observations that have been convincing me that I'm not.

I have no touch issues. I welcome a hug from anyone. I don't care if they do surprise me.

I have no eye contact issues. In fact it feels good to me. It's very stimulating. I think a woman's sexiest body part is her eyes, and I get around my problems reading facial expressions by feeling the person's eyes.

I don't adhere to routines. I have everything in my mind that needs to be done at the same time, and one day I'll do it this way, and another day, I'll do it that way. I just pick and choose from the list by what has dependencies, and what I'm in the mood for.

I tend to be very detail oriented, and I notice things that most people don't notice, but at the same time I have a global learning style, and I need the whole to hang those details on, in order for me to remember them.

I don't experience shutdowns or meltdowns, that I know of. I experience something very similar to shutdown, but mine are caused by low blood sugar level. I can rebound very easily by eating protein. Rarely I get very frustrated with myself, when I bring problems on myself related to my misinterpreting people's meaning, or such. I have been known to loose it, and take out my frustration upon myself, but that is rare. If that is what meltdown is like, then maybe I experience that, but it's not like I watching myself carry out these actions beyond my control. My actions are due to intense frustration with myself.

I do have an intense need to keep my stimulation level just below my point of overwhelm, and I stim like crazy trying to keep myself calm.

I am a very reclusive introvert, and have often had problems making friends, but unlike what is supposed to be aspie-ish,, when I manage to make a friend, I usually don't have trouble keeping the friendship. My friends are people who I have managed to touch deeply somehow.

I don't know. I think I probably fall through the cracks on this one. Not really either, or perhaps a little of both.

When I take the Aspie-quiz I come out a tie between aspie and neurotypical, and my spider chart looks like the state of Texas. It shows me having strengths in both directions.

I don't know

For the Aspie or ASD parents on here( or anyone who can offer insight ) :

When it comes to my own child...I love to show him affection..lots of hugs etc

However, with others (including family like grandparents etc) it seems forced at times (even though I love and care for them). I find it awkward at times.

Does anyone else do this?

question for NTs:

when you need reassurance or empathy from someone, do you just need to hear the words or believe that the other person means them? is it the sentiment that counts - that they thought of you - or what the other person is actually feeling?

Question to NTs, because my NT friends/ex-boyfriend weren't able to explain in a way I could understand...

How do you calm someone down? When someone is upset, distressed, etc, what do you do? My first instinct is to help them solve the problem, because then they won't be sad, and it will give them hope, but I've actually had people yell at me for it ("Don't give me advice! I just need to be comforted right now!")
In movies and books, the thing to do seems to be to do a half hug and maybe rub/pat their back and say "it's ok," but I can only do this for so long before it starts to get awkward, and it's obviously not helping...
I know it's probably not a universal thing- what comforts one person might not work on another- but are there any tips or tricks I should know?

thank you Janissy, but i meant: if someone says they're sorry - do you have to know that they actually are sorry to feel comforted by the apology?

i am not asking "if an aspie tries to comfort you but is unable to empathize, is it still meaningful?" but rather, i'm asking if you yourself need to believe that what someone says to you is true, in order for it to have any significance to you.

for example, would you want to hear "i love you" from a new boyfriend, as a reassurance, or not unless he really did love you?

p.s. does anyone know where to find the "social feigning" thread that a few people mentioned on this thread back on p. 2 or so?

and one more thing, although i feel kind of idiotic asking it ..