Do You Get Told To "Smile" All The Time?

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haha yes that happened to me often, sometimes people ask are you upset, or you look so serious, and I mean even strangers, like at the store etc, or for pictures too it is that way I am asked to smile more, even if I smile I still don't smile largely enough for them lol its annoying.

Shadi

Yes, I absolutely get told to smile all the time. Like every freaking minute of the day. I am a normal, ordinary person. I don't have autism, As, or even depression. I mean, I have had a few things happen to me in my life but nothing serious that any other human being has not gone through in their life time. I seriously don't understand why it bothers people so much whether I smile or not. I dont think I frown and I have a normal face but people want me to have a constant smile ( that is Ludacris).


It is affecting my life and even when I want to be happy I can't because people keep saying well you are unusually happy today - Why?, you don't usually smile for any reason, and I just think to myself, make up your mind people ( what do you want from a girl to smile or not to smile) and then that makes me go into normal face mode again and the cycle starts all over again. It's even so bad that I don't speak to some family and friends anymore because they make me feel like I am abnormal. This is the one single issue in my life that has caused me grave concern and troubles. And sometimes they say things like oh, that's why I dont like to do nice things for you, that's why I don't like to come to you when I need someone to talk to and you are not a pleasant person to be around. And people talk behind my back saying I don't like her, she never smiles, I mean that is ridiculous just because I don't smile the way and when they want me to smile.

I hate it so much and it actually makes me get irrateted and annoyed. It is aggravating ! !! !! !


When people tell me to smile it actually ruins my day, because it makes me feel like everyone else around me is smiling and they are normal and I am not and I catch these same people actually frowning for no reason.

I think the reason why people like to tell other people to smile is because they are really faking their smiles and they expect you to do the same so that they can feel normal rather than be percieved as mentally deranged (which they are by the way- because they are always the first ones to snap at people for the tiniest things or no reason at all). I have to fake a smile at work, at school, shopping, family gatherings, hanging out with friends, and everywhere humans exist and even then it is still not enough smilling. It is exhausting and extremely annoying. I am a very honest person and I hate faking emotions and I don't like people who do that, so sometimes I just carry on with my normal face.

I am so happy I came acroos this blog because it has given me the oppurtunity to pour out my feelings that I have kept bottled up for years about being told to smile all the time. and I don't care if people dont want to be around me because they think I don't smile so therefore I am no fun to be around, I don't want to hang around their raggedy selves anyway.

I was told this from kindergarten up till now and it has always been irritating and i just want to tell all those fake people that tell me I need to smile more even when I just have a natural face one thing. Shove your opinions up where the sun don't shine, and peace a**holes.

The End.

I don't get it. When I was in fourth grade I was voted by my class as "always smiling" or something like that. Yet just about once a week somebody asks me why I look so sad. And then I've had a teacher who told me one day "wow [my name], that's the first time I've seen you make any sort of facial expression at all" just after somebody behind me made a ridiculously stupid comment. Other students have told me that I look like I'm stoned and they think I'm into that kind of stuff, which is far from true. It really is annoying and aggravating, no matter what I try to do I'm always told different things by different people.

The only semi-logical conclusion I can come to is this; because I usually don't feel any sort of emotion at all on a normal day, I often do not show any. This is why I hate the how are you question, because 95% of the time I don't even know how I am, I look at things from a factual point of view and unless some unjust event happens I'm not going to be sad or angry, and unless something really good happens I'm not going to be happy either. But it is extremely easy to make me laugh, and even if something is even moderately funny to me I can't help but grin, even though I try extremely hard to suppress it.

A cast member at Disney World wouldnt let me through to an attraction until I did this.

Another time I was at a job interview trying to look as NT as possible and smiling as much as possible. The Manager asked me near the end of the interview "can I get a smile"?

I knew two things right away after he asked me that:
1. that even when I try to smile naturally it's STILL not up to NT standards
2. I wasn't going to get that job

Yeah I can totally relate to this.. I used to get told to smile all the time, I suppose late childhood to early adulthood...? Not exactly sure when I grew out of this, but then I have done alot of "self-help" learning about social things BEFORE I knew I had aspergers.

I used to hear "Cheer up, it might never happen" and I swear it took me years before I realised the meaning of this! Really confusing until then!

Also people would presume I wasn't having a good time. Then you look like a liar, or something, when you say you are. Gawd, lol!

Similar to when you say "Excuse me" if you have to get by someone and then you get "Why, what have you done? *laughter*" That's a double confusion, 'cos you've just learnt to say "excuse me" as an acceptable phrase, and then it gets questioned/made fun of! lol!

Yes, and I even get told to smile at inappropriate times (times when I don't need to smile). I have learnt to smile on cue, but I don't sit there with a permanent grin on my face, which some people seem to expect me to.

I smirk. I had to be taught how to smile properly, mostly for pictures, but not just. Apparently when I smiled and didn't smirk, I looked like I was about to be sick.

Luckily, my eyes are apparently very expressive, so people can tell if I'm not happy or happy with them most times.

Yes, constantly. Especially when making photos. Like I did not look stupid enough without a fake smile. People always tell me I should look more friendly, because they claim I look tense. Guess what: I am tense most of the time. In fact, there is rarely a time where I am not. The presence of other people confuses me and makes me scared. I am claustrophobic, agoraphobic, coulrophobic, a little paranoid, I cannot judge people's emotions and have trouble understanding them when they talk to me (thanks to these forums, btw, I know that this is call central auditory processing disorder, so I can add another player to the league), so you better believe dealing with other people makes me tense.

Yes, people often tell me to smile more or look happier and people misjudge my mood all the time and assume I'm sad/bored/annoyed and such, just because I have a blank expression on my face most of the time. It's really annoying and it affects the way people treat me. Why is it so socially unacceptable to do what feels natural rather than try to fake a stupid smile all the time? Why can't I just be me?

I've been told to smile, blink, breathe... and apparently I speak slow, monotone, quietly and alot. I can lie pretty well but people often don't believe me when Im telling the truth.

Yeah I got that a lot as a child and still get it now.......I just don't naturally tend to smile, I smile when I laugh or if something is mildly amusing but in general I don't. I have also been told though even when I'm laughing so hard my eyes are watering that I have no sort of expression in my eyes.......not sure what that means I guess I have a weird creepy blank stare or something.

Never. Maybe it's my natural physical transparency at work. My face is certainly relaxed most of the time.

Regarding people who smile all the time, I get uncomfortable and suspicious around bubbly people. I automatically assume they're hiding a grim and abrasive personality underneath their persistent cheerfulness.

People tell me to smile all the time. It just doesn´t come naturally to me to smile unless something very pleasant and/or funny is happening.

I notice that the vast majority of the people responding in this thread are female. Being told to "smile" all the time isn't just an autistic thing; it happens a lot to women in general. For whatever reason, there are a lot of men out there who feel entitled to command women (even complete strangers) to smile. See, for example:

- What happens when women don't smile
- Why do men tell women to smile?
- It’s Important For Men to Understand That They Need To Stop Telling Women to Smile
- Men telling women to smile: Is it sexist?

Here in the U.S.A. at least, there is pressure on men to smile too (though not nearly as much pressure on men as on women, apparently). I'm under the impression than this is a cultural thing, with "Thou shalt smile all the time (everywhere except funerals)" being a more prevalent attitude here in the U.S.A. than almost anywhere else in the world.

However, in earlier times even here in the West, there was social pressure AGAINST women smiling. See: Why Do People Expect Women To Smile?

When I encounter men who command me to smile, I sometimes (IF I have the time and presence of mind to do so) say something like, "if you want people to smile, it would be much more pleasant if you could tell them a good joke instead of COMMANDING people to smile."

I have been told I should smile more my entire life. I have no idea if I have been told to smile less then NT women never mind autistic women.

All the time as a kid. I usually just had a "poker face" all the time. Smiling physically hurt my face. My mom was always looking at my school pictures and saying you could tell I was autistic because I had a fake smile and this "look" in my eyes. All the prodding the school photographers did, it was even hard to force a fake smile. I saw some pictures of my brother who was in the military at the time and noticed he wasn't smiling and realized you did not have to smile in a picture. When I stopped trying to force a smile, my mom LOVED my school pictures. In any picture my mom has of me with a genuine smile of any kind, I'm usually petting or holding an animal of some kind.