Which one is the Aspie in this video?

Post Reply New Topic

Rainsong, you and I are on a completely different page here. For one thing, I do not agree nor do I disagree with her clothing choice. It is NOTHING personal. If it were my office I would make a dress code because I know it would save me headaches later if I did, and I would enforce it. It wouldn't be because of my personal taste, it would be because of all the people out there who like to stir trouble out of petty matters like cleavage, and yes, there are a lot of people out there who do just that.
I couldn't tell by the video if her clothing choice was in sync with the rest of the workers or not, or what kind of business it was. It seems like some kind of corporate headquarters, a highrise of some kind, and she is approached by someone who is lost and unsure of where to go.
As for doctors, they look at many things, clothing choice is one of them, to determine state of mind. Of course they aren't going to look at clothing choice alone and make a diagnosis. It's one of the many things they look at to determine what the person is like.
Let's say someone decides to dress in all black, dye their hair black, wear Egyptian-like black kohl eyeliner and decides on death metal t shirts and black PVC mini skirt with fish net stockings and doc martins. The doctor would make a note of this when seeing this patient. Like it or not, they do. No pretending they don't. It's just the way things are. People notice all kinds of things and make quick judgments based on what they see or hear. Doctors do make a note of how others are dressed, to determine if the patient might be an exhibitionist, or is eccentric. Out of sync clothing is something they look at and too little attire would be considered out of sync. When someone is dressed differently from those around them, it might mean they are looking for something, maybe they want attention and are using clothing to get noticed. Maybe they are set in their routines and they don't want to change the way they dress. They might flat out refuse to change their style of dress no matter who asks, they are so set in their routines. Clothing can be thought of as "routine" if people are asked to wear something else and flat out refuse to change.
I went to a counselor once. The first time I was there, I wore no makeup and just brushed my hair, didn't bother to use a curling iron on it or anything. The next visit, why, I don't know, I curled my hair, made it look as nice as I could, and put some makeup on. Right away, the counselor started interrogating me on it. "You put more makeup on and fixed up your hair. Why did you do that?" No joke, she was that inquisitive about it. Most people wouldn't pay much attention, or they might say, "You look better without makeup", or "I really like the way you look all made up", and leave it at that. Who interrogates others over makeup and hair?
She did it to find out more about my cognitive processes and state of mind, to find out more about me.



I was more creeped out by the woman than by the man. In our global existence, more than just people living in the UK are going to see that video, so why not give some feedback from a different perspective?


It seems like she slapped him for leaning over, at the end of the video...I only watched it once, but I remember a slap at the end because she thought he was trying to get too close. I didn't think he was that close. Slap or no slap, she reacted badly to a misunderstanding, which can happen with AS. Even if he is the one who supposedly has it, nothing he was doing should have gotten that attitude from her, which makes me wonder who has the issue?
That kind of thing happens to me all the time. I misinterpret people, much like she misinterpreted his intentions. To me, that kind of job looks easy, but would be very difficult for me to do and keep the glossy veneer up all the time. I would get distracted by something and would resent having to talk to people and do things for them, kind of like how she acts in the video. I wouldn't dress like her, but it wouldn't matter, because I would have her attitude and people wouldn't like it. If I treated someone like that and had a job like that, the person would most likely call and complain to my manager and their opinion of me would be low. I wouldn't get a good evaluation, and chances are, I wouldn't get promotions and raises on a routine basis. This is how AS interfers with this kind of work. There are other jobs that wouldn't be as challenging, but this one would be.

I assume the man. That woman was driving me crazy, though. I would have looked at her name tag, too.

Did I mis-hear it? I could have sworn he asked her if she could tell him how to get there, not to show him... She took that upon herself and then complained about it.

The OP question is "which one is most likely to be the Aspie in this video?", not "which one is most likely to get a job promotion?". You are taking "out of sync with coworkers" and "inappropriate choice of clothes" far too literally. There are many, many reasons why somebody could be out of sync with their co-workers in their clothing choices or choose something that is inappropriate for the job. Aspergers Syndrome is only one of those reasons. Another one of those reasons- and the most likely one here, assuming she actually is out of sync with her coworkers which UK posters say she is not- is because she hopes to attract the attention of men she finds desirable. The side effect of dressing that way is also attracting the attention of men she has no interest in. That's clearly what happened here. Although what's also clear is that any man who leaned in to look at her breasts rather than being covert would instantly become undesirable because you just don't do that. She misinterpreted his action because Theory of Mind only works between NT minds- and it's an educated guess (a Theory) rather than literal mindreading. So she assumed that he was just as NT as her and therefore behaving like an inappropriate NT man and she reacted as such.

But the UK posters have already pointed out that in the UK where this was made, she actually wouldn't be out of sync with her coworkers for dressing that way. Nor would she be out of sync with her coworkers for her brusque manner. That's not ok in US customer service but not everywhere has the same norms.

Your eqaution that "inappropriate clothes"="she's the Aspie" is too literal and in this case wrong. The makers of the video have deliberately done things with her dress and her reactions that make it clear that whether you agree with it or not, her behaviour is NT and his is not. This video and all the others in the series also starring that actor as an Aspie are intended for an NT audience to educate them about how to spot an Aspie and correctly interpret their signals that will otherwise be misinterpreted (like how he leans in). The video makes the assumption that its target NT audience will automatically know that she's the NT and he's the Aspie. And they will. Because she is behaving (and dressing) NT to the core.

You know, if she was shown more than one day (ie, the video showed her the next day wearing one of your examples), maybe some of that would apply. As it is, they showed her one day wearing one outfit (which is a fairly common summer dress you can get at just about any store), so it doesn't.




The woman behaved entirely normally, and it does not matter what part of the world you are in, it is never appropriate to lean in like he did. It is not appropriate in the UK, it is not appropriate in the US, it is not appropriate in almost every place on this planet. It doesn't matter your personal thoughts on it; what matters is that he could easily have gotten into a lot of trouble.



You need to watch it again before making interpretations, because clearly you missed a lot and added in more to suit your view.

Well, you could say the same thing about the woman in the office. Is it really appropriate for someone to put a nametag so close to their bare cleavage? When you think about it, it really isn't, but she did it anyway, for whatever reason. The guy didn't mean any harm by what he did, and it's very plain that he's harmless and simply cannot find his way around. There's nothing sinister about him.
As far as leaning in, I can't recall if I have ever peered at anyone's name tag. I am female, and if I have stared at a name on a tag, I'm sure it hasn't gone unnoticed. The thing about this video is, it's kind of obvious when someone is reading a tag or a shirt, and yet the girl cannot figure out what's going on.
I was in a foreign language class once and a guest speaker was looking at my shirt (which had something on it) and commenting in a language I wasn't fluent in, but I didn't assume he was talking about my chest. Even I could tell he wasn't staring at my chest, he was commenting on what was on it.
I happen to be shorter or the same height as most adults, so it's not like I ever have to hover over to see what a name tag says, but if I were taller and near sited, I sure would have to just to see it. People say it's a good idea to get the name of someone who is helping you in a store, office, over the phone, etc, so peering to see nametags can't be an unheard of event.

People would see the way the woman is behaving in the video and call her an unflattering name. She doesn't seem very helpful or nice. Nothing anyone says will change my opinion of her and I am not watching the video again, because I didn't enjoy it.




I only watched it once because it's difficult for me to watch stuff like that. It brings back bad memories. I try my best to put on a smiling face and have the same attitude as everyone else, but, it's harder for me to fake it the way 99% of the population seems to be able to. I feel everything so much more accutely and I wear my feelings on my face, whether it be a scowl or a smile. It's difficult for me to disguise it.

Geez this argument is still going on about clothes and cleavage. Funny.


. . . . . . . .. . . . . .,.-”. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .“-.,
. . . . .. . . . . . ..,/. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ”:,
. . . . . . . .. .,?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\,
. . . . . . . . . /. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,}
. . . . . . . . ./. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:`^`.}
. . . . . . . ./. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:”. . . ./
. . . . . . .?. . . __. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . :`. . . ./
. . . . . . . /__.(. . .“~-,_. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:`. . . .. ./
. . . . . . /(_. . ”~,_. . . ..“~,_. . . . . . . . . .,:`. . . . _/
. . . .. .{.._$;_. . .”=,_. . . .“-,_. . . ,.-~-,}, .~”; /. .. .}
. . .. . .((. . .*~_. . . .”=-._. . .“;,,./`. . /” . . . ./. .. ../
. . . .. . .\`~,. . ..“~.,. . . . . . . . . ..`. . .}. . . . . . ../
. . . . . .(. ..`=-,,. . . .`. . . . . . . . . . . ..(. . . ;_,,-”
. . . . . ../.`~,. . ..`-.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..\. . /\
. . . . . . \`~.*-,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..|,./.....\,__
,,_. . . . . }.>-._\. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .|. . . . . . ..`=~-,
. .. `=~-,_\_. . . `\,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\
. . . . . . . . . .`=~-,,.\,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . `:,, . . . . . . . . . . . . . `\. . . . . . ..__
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .`=-,. . . . . . . . . .,%`>--==``
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _\. . . . . ._,-%. . . ..`\.

Don't lose sight of the fact that this is a video made with actors and set up to convey a certain message. She didn't put the nametag near her cleavage "for whatever reason". She put it near her cleavage because that is the way it is written in the script. The scriptwriters has her- an actress- do that so that he- an actor- would have a reason to lean in near her cleavage so that she could misinterpret it. The character she is playing is NT. You are taking "innapropriate for work" far too literally and jumping to the conclusion that inappropriate=her being the Aspie. Do you honestly think that Asperger's Syndrome is the only reason a woman would wear sexual clothes to work. And while we're at it, with many Aspie women here on WrongPlanet, are there ANY???? Aspie women here who dress for work in clothes that are more sexual than their female co-workers are wearing? Next question: any Aspie women whose female co-workers wear clothes more sexual than their own? Why do I ask? Because I strongly suspect that wearing inappropriately provocative clothes to work is an inappropriatness perpetrated almost exclusively by NT women.

Well, of course, it's all scripted. The point is, the video isn't that great a video. It's too contrived and the woman ends up looking like she lacks social intuition when it's supposed to be the man who does. The man seems pretty normal to me.
It just looks like the woman is being sorta obnoxious and has a bad attitude for no apparent reason, and the poor guy just happens to be the one who stumbles in her path. That's how it looks.

Asperger's Syndrome could explain her choice of clothing, if she's the only one dressing that way. It could explain several different choices of clothing, if it isn't thought of appropriate attire for a job. Aspies can be very clothing oriented. Stereotypes aside, it can be difficult for an Aspie to switch gears. It's easy to become attached to a certain style of clothing, or a certain piece, even, and not want to change the choice for anyone or anything. It doesn't mean the piece of clothing is ugly, or out of style. It can be a very good choice and quite fashionable.

No, you can't say the same thing for the woman. Her clothing wasn't inappropriate, and where else would she put the tag on that dress? That's the highest she could have placed it near the cneter (it would be difficult to find if it was on her shoulderblade). And anyway, regardless of where she placed it, no one should lean in and/or stare.



It's obvious to us, but it's not obvious to her. She didn't hear his question, he leaned in in a way that most people wouldn't do period, and those who did would probably be looking at her bust on purpose. Never, ever lean in.

You can look at nametags without staring, and even if you stare, you do not have to lean in. If you're near sighted, wear glasses or don't look.



She's much more appropriate than he is, and seen solely from a third perspective (ie, without the context of the ad and without seeing some of it through his eyes), no one would fault her for any of her actions.

If you're not going to watch it objectively and are going to continue to rely on flawed memories, you shouldn't talk about it.

If I shouldn't talk about it, maybe those people who made it should take it down and not show it?

You shouldn't talk about it because you've made it clear that you don't remember the facts correctly, and you won't watch it again to confirm that a.) he only asked once and b.) she never, ever slapped him, among other things. There's absolutely no reason they shouldn't show it; there's no connection there at all, so I'm confused as to where you think one equals the other.

Okay...he asked once and she didn't slap him, but the way she overreacted was just like a slap, in my mind, anyway. The point being she overreacted. It wasn't clear that she couldn't hear him, either. It looked like she didn't feel like paying attention to him, resented having to stop what she was doing to help him out. She looked like she didn't want to "switch gears" and did so reluctantly. That kind of thing really annoys people and they pick up on it and tell others you have an attitude problem.
These two minor details don't interfer with the overall tone of the video and the effect it had on me.
It's just feedback, anyway.
Next time, they should strive to be a bit more realistic.

Here's a thought.

I'm a woman, and I sometimes attend conferences etc where people wear name badges. Some people chose to wear their badges on their waistbands instead of pinned to their shirt or blouse. If I were trying to find out the name of a man with the badge on his waistband, how would it look if I crouched down and got my face within 6 inches of his crotch to read it. Would he simply think I was trying to read his badge, or would he think I was some kind of weirdo?

That you had to be told both those things clearly indicates that you watched it with a purpose in mind, so you can't be objective, and there's probably more things you're remembering that didn't actually exist.

The video was very realistic and did a good job.

Something of note, professionals usually note what someone is wearing to see if they're looking after themselves in basic care (people with an ASD usually don't care about their appearance, but if they do, it's usually wearing something that's related to an interest), or if the items of clothing are pointing to something like narcissistic PD (this latter disorder is usually very evident).

The lady in the video is obviously well groomed, and as people have said, it's not inappropriate attire in many places around the world, even for office workers (including where it was filmed).