Why do you keep quiet?

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I have both ADHD and Aspergers, so sometimes it is hard for me to be quiet, even though I usually think its better if I do! When I am comfortable, I get really hyper and talk a lot, sometimes saying a lot of stupid things and causing my sister to complain that I have the maturity of a thirteen-year-old. But other times, such as at parties, at someone else's house, or when people are around that I don't know well, I am silent. There are family members I don't see much who think that I don't talk at all, because they've never heard me say a word! When I am uncomfortable, its like I don't really have any words coming to mind, and when I do try to speak, I stutter and have trouble saying what I need to say. So I tend to remain quiet!
- Nicki

I keep quiet because I have to. My communication difficulties make it really hard to get words out verbally, so for the most part, I don't. I really wish I could say more than I do, but I can't. As long as I can type, I'll be okay. Otherwise I feel trapped in my head.

Two reasons why I tend to keep quiet:

1. I don't have anything to say
2. Nobody is listening

1. Don't know what to say / Can't come up with anything to say.
2. If it's with a group of people that already know each other it's hard to "break in".
3. Some people are just not talkative.

To guard my heart.

I'm quiet because a) I say stupid things, b) I talk about things people don't care about c) all my perfect and well rehearsed conversations come out like much when I'm actually speaking. After a while I just stopped bothering. I much prefer my thoughts or writing as there things usually come out the way I intend them to.

Socially (AS to NT):

If you speak, you will be misunderstood. If you listen, you will not understand. People will respond to things you didn't mean, and you will respond to things they didn't mean.

Typical conversation:

AS: It's nice weather today, do you want to go canoeing?

NT: I wanted to go last week and you didn't want to go.

AS: Yes, but that was last week. I'm talking about today.

NT: Sure, it's OK to go canoeing if you want to go, but not if it is my idea.

AS: Do you want to go?

NT: I wanted to go last week.

AS: I can't go back to last week and go, I can only go now, so do you want to go now?

NT: Sure, whatever you want to do, that is all that matters.

AS: Would you like to do something else?

NT: Yes, I would like for you to do what I want sometimes!

AS: OK then, what do you want to do right now?

NT: Canoeing would be fine, I guess.

AS: It doesn't sound like you really want to go.

NT: I do, but sometimes I want you to do what I want to do.

AS: I am doing what you want to do, I asked you.

NT: I wanted to go last week.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! !

This is complicated for me... I have issues with speaking... I always have. I was a child who would go mute... sometimes for weeks. I never did get the hang of or understand all of the fuss about talking. I used to not think it was necessary. People used a lot of words to say very little and what they did say made little to no sense to me. I did not think adults listened to children either so back then I saw little point in speaking. As I grew I noticed I needed to speak more and tried to, only to find my words did not always come out when they were supposed to. I would open my mouth and no noise. I am better about it now, but it still happens to me sometimes. I do okay talking to someone one on one in a quiet environment, if it is not quiet or there are more than two people, I get lost so there is no point in talking as I have no clue about what is going on. I also get caught up in my head and forget to talk to people. Talking is hard work that gets me nowhere quickly these days. I cannot communicate what I think or feel in ways that seem to make sense to most people. There never is much to say anyhow... I do not know how to relate to most other people... what the hell am I supposed to say to them... I do not know. I need to be very comfortable, think the person gets it, or know someone well to speak with them.

I feel jumbled in the head this evening. I hope that made sense...

I don't like people focusing all their attention on me. All those eyes

I never know what to say.

And when I do say something it usually turns out to be inappropriate. (apparently jokes about blood and clown suits don't belong at a family gathering.)

I tend to be somewhat quite in most people's eyes here on WP.Honestly, I'll say this for the record that there was a time when I would write out long,comprehensive posts & emails over the 14yrs on the net I've been.Today, I tend to keep quiet for, I'd rather not look or appear as if my IQ was 70 or lower or simply shame or embarrass myself in such fashion..So, I hope that often most people can understand me even if I come off as being dumb in other's minds??

Most of this stems from the fact that when I was a child, I was constantly talking about my interests with everyone. Everyone knew what I was interested in, every last detail about it, and asking them what they think about it. After getting ridiculed endlessly and embarrassed, you'll eventually repress that sort of behavior involuntarily. I don't want to risk being criticized for the things I enjoy, so I enjoy them in my solitude and leave others to their own interests.

Aside from that, more often than not the people around me aren't going to share a common interest with me, so I don't bring them up in order to avoid awkwardness.

i keep quiet because:

1) when i don't have anything interesting to say, they i remain silent. i don't see the point of wasting time on small talks, involving fascinating subjects like: "it's raining today". oh really? gee, i didn't notice, thanks for letting me know!
2) my interests would only lead to mockery and wtf? reactions. i have nothing to share with people
3) anytime i said something it seemed to be inappropriate, or stupid, or rude, or "she has no manner", or really not worth saying and i'm made fun. After being bullied my whole life, now when i have a sentence in mind, i can never convince myself to say it out loud because i fear people's reaction.
4) when people are talking, i usually end up invaded with my own thoughts, i'm disconnected from whatever they're saying and therefore can not participate

I keep clicking into this thread meaning to make a comment, but each time I feel like I can't really explain why I keep quiet.

Last night I went to a lecture. I knew a few people there and when the lecture finished I had this overwhelming feeling that I had nothing to say to anyone. So I just went home. I can't seem to conjour up small talk about nothing. I don't know why. My brain just doesn't work that way.

I keep quiet because I can't think of anything to say or, if I do think of something, it's too late to say it. Sometimes it just doesn't seem like it's worth the effort though, even if I do think of something, because people tend to misinterpret whatever I say entirely, and it just leaves me more frustrated than anything else. That or I'm asked to repeat myself a million times because I'm "too quiet," which is also frustrating.

I go through phases of talking a lot even if it is sometimes inopportune/inappropriate and not saying much at all though. Whatever I talk about though, it ISN'T my interests... I think it's because I care way more about them, and talking about them leaves me too sensitive and nervous. And a little bit of it is childish possessiveness and being unwilling to share...

It takes energy to speak.

In some cases, talking may not lead anywhere. In some cases, talking may reduce the amount of work completed. In some cases, talking is pretty much small talk only/gossip which, to me, is unneeded.