Do you want to be 'cured' of Asperger's Syndrome?

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Viva la différence!

Before we get to that...

Could we try and cure binge drinking first?

At least then, I'd be able to understand what some people in my country are trying to tell me.

Or if someone could act as interpreter and decode all the drunken gibberish for me...

Then I'd be willing to have a go at improving things at my end.

as usual, the topic started off with the first page being a question with some serious answers, and somewhere between then and now someone said something someone didnt agree with, and thus the epic battle of stubborn morals begins...for god knows how many times now

the usual scene on wrongplanet...

No, but I do want to be cured of idiots who use aspergers as an excuse, like the guy in the other thread sticking up for a pedophile who blames it on "aspergers".

jeez, tell me about it.

i mean, ok i've used AS as an excuse for doing poorly at math (and i still feel stupid for having to make an excuse), but that there is just unjustifiable, or at least definitely not by AS.

My answer to this question is "No." I would not take this pill if it existed. I love the way I think---it is fun. I love my interests and the way I can absorb into them. My interests are my friends. I relate to them. They have given me pleasure in life.

Look at my avatar. That is me in 1972. Do I look unhappy? That picture is special to me. It was taken during the summer of 1972---the year I became obsessed with roller coasters. I quickly learned (without trying to) the statistics of every roller coaster in the United States, Canada, and Mexico. Within the next years, many of my family's vacations took me to amusement parks. It was also at this time that I began playing the organ---and today, I still play the organ. I love music.

If I had the possibility to have been born without Asperger's, then I'd take it in a heartbeat.

I'm freaking tired of being lonely all the time, and being really unable to do anything about it - attempts to make friends are either failures, or I feel too uncomfortable around others. I want friends but I don't want friends. Ugh. And I'm even more tired of looking back and only seeing negatives, most of which wouldn't have happened if I didn't have Asperger's.

As for a "pill" that would cure me at this very second, that won't change the fact that I did have it, won't change all of the failures, and won't change how I now have major depression, and possibly, bipolar, as a result of all that crap.


Until something good comes out of it, I won't be happy with it. My obsession with music is irrelevant, I could be perfectly obsessed with music even if I didn't have AS. If I didn't have AS or other disorders, I'd be able to find enjoyment in other things, not just music.

... I guess I'm just depressed and pessimistic at the time. Maybe I don't even have AS, maybe I'm just an unexplainable godforsaken cursed mess.

Do I want to be cured? No. I am me. Who's to say that without this I would be the same? And if I took a cure now, I would notice the change. Would I be happier? Maybe. Maybe not.

But how would the relationships I've made change if I wasn't me? What if instead of being lonely because I don't understand social relations and struggle in that area, I was lonely because people didn't like the cured me?

I don't want a cure, I'd just like help in the areas I struggle. I think I'd rather struggle with it and be happy because I overcame this struggle than happy because someone changed who I was.

I hope this reply made sense.

Hi Apolla. I like your reply here. To take away autism in me would make me a different person---and the same for you and everyone else with autism. We would not be the same person and therefore we would be like someone else---someone different. While many would want cured, many of us do not want cured. I am very passionate about my special intense interests---and I can say that autism has made those interests intense for me---and I am thankful for that. I enjoy them.

Autism created my passion for music. For those who would say I would have been into music without autism are wrong. My passion for music was born in the electric organ. I obsessed and obsessed over the mechanical knobs, sliders, switches, etc. on the organ---studying their layouts and diagrams. I was so amazed by these things that I took up music so that I could manipulate these electronic contraptions. I didn't take up music the way an NT would---I took it up in an autistic way. And the organ captivated me for long lengths of time almost every day in my private room---alone and amazed.

Autism gave me roller coasters. And without trying to memorize them, my autistic mind memorized the statistics of every roller coaster in North America.

Autism gave me house plans. I spent/ and often still spend much time studying them. I can study a single favorite house plan for hours---looking over the same walls and dimensions without getting bored.

While others played ball in the neighborhood or swam in the public pool, I was locked in my world of the organ, roller coasters, and house plans. And it was fun. And I don't regret it.

Here is a poem I wrote about myself as a child:

THERE IS A CURTAIN

There is a curtain behind which trains and roller coasters live,
There I play and hang on the threshold, “No Vacancy.”

There is a curtain behind which lay my desires and beliefs,
No one can take me away from them, so please do not try.

There is a curtain behind which lay my passions, and I apologize,
For I do not know what the world is thinking.

There is a curtain behind which others knock, “Play with us, join us,”
But I am busy, maybe some other time.

There is a curtain behind which football, ice cream, and friendship beckon,
Go away please, I have house plans to study.

There is a curtain behind which my mind’s microscope examines,
Details so small, so few have ever seen.

There is a curtain behind which lay jumbled randomness,
But I cure it in towering skyscrapers and mile long lines.

There is a curtain behind which lay empty museum shelves,
Waiting and waiting, do you hear them?
“Fill us with useless models, ugly rocks, and sleepless tents,”
Can your hear them?… I guess not---maybe next time.

If it was like the Matrix, you know, red pill/blue pill kind of thing, then No, I wouldn't want to be "cured". Aspie is part of who and what I am. I am Aspie.

I don't "have" Asperger's Syndrome, and I certainly don't suffer from it.

To some people that might be semantics, but to me it's comparable with homosexuality, in the sense that a gay person says 'I'm gay', they don't say 'I have homosexuality', it's an intrinsic part of who they are.

Likewise with Asperger's it's the way our minds are wired up, it can't be separated from our personalities, our characteristics, it's part of who we are.

It's not a disease, it's not something that can be 'cured' (unless you're perhaps talking about prenatal testing and selective termination).

The thing that I've struggled with most isn't being Aspie, it's depression, but that's not just a co-morbid relating to being Aspie, there are other reasons for that in my personal history.

If anything needs to be 'cured' its ignorance among the public generally speaking, and among employers in particular, because society is increasingly expecting conformists, round pegs who fit in round holes, and if you're a square peg, you're going to struggle. I'd like a 'cure' for ignorance and more tolerance of neurodiversity.

All I am going to say is I want a cure for whatever the heck I have or multiple things I have.

I agree with you. I've always found some practical use for most of my interests.lolAs a kid I just loved to alphabatize things, or put them in numerical order, or by size. Just this Thursday, a coworker is wondering if I could possibly put some gift cards in order for her to make it easier for some presentation she's doing. She was quite amazed I actually would, and did it pretty quickly.

And as you said, AS has given me many things. It's given me my 'ability' to do jigsaw puzzles, take things apart and put them back together. I'm the only person I know who can stay up for more than twenty four hours just working on puzzles.lolNot to mention the pieces like for a sky, or tree branches, that you pay much attention to detail on the pieces, or the shape. Possibly if it wasn't for my AS, I would not have such an interest in certain things about royalty. People, some people, anyway, are always impressed when I name the post-Petrine Romanov emperors. I also know most of the grand dukes/duchesses. I'm now trying to learn them all. My coworkers say I'm the only person they know who learns and remembers things for fun. I tell them I learn and remember these things because I enjoy and am very interested in them. Another of my coworkers who also likes to read, I think at first she was quite unbelieving when I said I liked to read and named some of my favorite genres and authors. I suppose it's my age. Most people my age have no clue what a book is, most likely.

It's made me think in unusual ways. True, it's given me some difficulties, but it's also given me so much more positive things.

I would pay any money to be cured if there was one. I would just love to be able to fit into that world out there properly. I just feel angry that's it's ME in this family who is stuck with it. It's like the AS has grabbed hold of my soul and won't give it back. It's making me an outcast from this family. When my house gets too full of family relatives at week-ends I feel I have to get away. I can't help it. Nobody else in the family does. I just think things will be easier for me - and everyone else - if I didn't have this AS thing.
I would just like to wake up one morning and feel normal. I want to feel that I'm not bothered about any unpredictibilities that will happen today. I want to turn on my computer and sign myself up for facebook, feeling confident and ready to chat to new people and put good things about myself what other NTs like. I want to be going on Youtube and looking for the latest songs what are out now, and download them onto my MP3 (instead of having the urge to look for nursery rhymes and fairground music). I want to be able to walk into the kitchen and happily say ''good morning, mum,'' instead of sitting there in silence trying to think of something to start whining about. Sometimes my cousin comes round, and brings a friend with her who I don't know, and I'd just like to say, ''ooh, she's got a friend with her. How nice,'' instead ot saying, ''oh no - she's got a friend! Oh, what do I say? What do I do? Will she like me? She might laugh at me behind my back! Oh my god, let me flee!! !''

See - I know how to be normal and sociable. I could write a massive essay on communicating, and could win prize trip to America or something from it. But when it comes to me verbally following the social rules to other people, I just can't seem to do it right. It's because of this AS. It's like all my social skills are there, and I try and try and try - but it's still never right. My AS shows right through. And the more I try my best to join in a conversation, say with my cousin and her friend, the more I seem unconfident. But being myself doesn't seem to work either. It's like I don't trust myself, and so that's where I go wrong in life.

I just want this AS to go away, and I want to bring the NT out that is inside me.
I can only dream, I suppose. I just tend to hold onto this dream every day.

And don't say ''oh you can change yourself'', because it's impossible. I'm stuck with AS and that's that. (Though I wish I WASN'T). If we could all just change ourselves just like that, then nobody would have AS.

Thank you for posting this---I always enjoy reading posts about appreciating AS. Alphabetizing and putting things in order has always been fun and fascinating for me too. I also liked to take motel/ hotel brochures my father used to get from Myrtle Beach and put them in order according to their address. Oh...and those puzzles. You mention liking to assemble the sky---I did too. I think I read on another post somewhere about enjoying putting the sky in on puzzles.

Joe90---I hope you can find comfort and happiness someday in having AS. Perhaps you can find some things you enjoy or are interested in and try to focus on those while not focusing so much on your negatives. I think you will find that your quote,:
is incorrect.
I know I would choose to keep AS. And there are many of us with AS that would choose to keep it. Please, try to find happiness in your interests.

I know exactly how you feel, mate. I've read your post, and I had to check the name a couple of times to see if I had written that, because you have put the exact words what I've been trying to put somewhere on these forums.

I want a cure because I’m tired.

I’m tired of being exhausted by pretending to be NT in public.
It is hard - I know. I concentrate so much on looking ''cool'' that I'm not focusing enough on where I'm going or what I'm doing.

I’m tired of not knowing how to stick up for myself.
Amen to that! When I got bullied about a year ago, they were saying nasty things to me down the phone, and I just sat there taking their s**t. I thought of loads of good things to say after I had put the phone down - but while I was on the phone I just did not know how to deal with them. Oh I wish I can stick up for myself!

I’m tired of not being able to understand advice. [“Just be more confident!” “OK. How?” “Well you…. you just do!”]
I hate that sort of advice too. I don't understand it either, because you can't just be more confident. Building confidence ain't just something that happens over night. I wish people wouldn't give me that piece of advice.

I’m tired of being unable to cope when my preparation fails.
Me too.

I’m tired of being called lazy and depressed because of the above.
I've lost count how many times I've been called lazy and depressed by NTs.

I’m tired of being called shy.
Yes, me too. The word ''shy'' has always haunted me.

I’m tired of always being alone.
Yes - I hate being alone. I do like time to myself at times, but when it comes to every evening and week-end, I start becoming irritated with myself. I feel that when I'm with other people, I feel I can like myself again, and when I'm by myself for too long I start feeling that I hate myself.

I’m tired of missing movies because nobody will go with me.
Yes, yes - me too. I've been waiting for 2 months to see a film at the cinema, and I still haven't got round to it because nobody will go with me. I suppose they've got ''better things to do than be with me''. Then in the next breath they turn round to my and say, ''I saw that film you wanted to see the other day with my friends.'' I'm tired of having that said to me all the time.

I’m tired of being too self-conscious to buy a single movie ticket.
I find it very hard to buy a film ticket.

I’m tired of having half of my family blocking me out of their lives.
Oh my god, me too. I have 7 cousins on my dad's side, and I used to see them a lot when I was a child, but now they're too wrapped up in their social lives and partying than wanting to see me for even an hour.
.
I’m tired of knowing what it’s like to have loads of money but having nothing of value to spend it on.
Yeh, people say this to me a lot: ''oh, why would you want a high-paid job if you don't like going out shopping to spend it!'' Sometimes I take that as an insult when people say that me.

I’m tired of it being a Friday night and finding writing this post as the only way to entertain myself.
It's Saturday evening at the moment. Each time I look out the window I see other girls dressed up walking along with really cute young men - and I close the curtain quick. I can't look at them otherwise I start suffering an episode of ''outcast-sm''.

I’m tired of not having anyone on this forum ever respond back to my posts.
I'm tired of writing a post then having others responding nasty posts back. It upsets me.

I’m tired of being afraid of going out in public.
I also get afraid of going out in public. I have to get up about 10 minutes before setting out, so that I don't have time to start getting nervous of walking out there in the ''NT world'', and having to put up being a NT, just to match all the others and avoid being looked at.

But most of all, I’m tired of knowing all of the above and being powerless to change any of it.
I wish I had the willpower to be able to change myself. But it's difficult when everybody around me is so used to me being me all this time that if I did manage to suddenly change myself they'll all look at me and think, ''is that girl on drugs or something?''




I'm tired of enjoying whining to my mum about everything

I'm tired of making winters hell for me and for everyone around me because of my big fear of snow and ice

I'm tired of spending most of my time worrying and wondering when the next ice age will be

I'm tired of spending most of my time worrying and wondering of what the terrorists might do next

I'm tired of being on still job-seekers because of my unconfidence to actually get out there and find a job

I'm tired of getting paranoid about whether somebody's going to put a small child in the seat behind me on the bus in case it'd start kicking my seat

I'm tired of not being able to get counselling or CBT because of the social services not wanting to know

I'm tired of being a hypocondriac

I'm tired of sounding unconfident in my speech a lot of the time

I'm tired of all my cousins and other relatives around me are all NTs and have mates of their own and things to do - and I'm the one lonely every week-end and just tagging along with my mum and auntie, just for the sake of having company

I'm tired of my poor maths skills

I'm tired of having to avoid sudden loud noise

I'm tired of spending the whole winter being miserable because I want it to be summer, then when summer comes I'm wasting it away because I'm miserable of something else

I'm tired of the fact that both of the AS genes went into me, instead of none or one.

Last edited by Joe90 on 11 Sep 2010, 2:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Nope. I like my brain - it serves me well.

I would like to learn more social graces as well as develop an ability not to be offended by the lack of social graces in NTs. Yes. Especially the last part.