How satisfied are you with your birth-assigned gender?

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How satisfied are you with the gender you were assigned at birth?

1	2%	[ 2 ]
2	2%	[ 2 ]
3	11%	[ 15 ]
4	10%	[ 13 ]
5	21%	[ 28 ]
6	6%	[ 8 ]
7	14%	[ 18 ]
8	14%	[ 19 ]
9	5%	[ 7 ]
10	15%	[ 20 ]

Total votes : 132

DrPenguin
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 17 Jun 2012
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 259

19 Jul 2012, 6:46 am

ToughDiamond wrote:

DrPenguin wrote:

ToughDiamond wrote:

DrPenguin wrote:

The odd part is that I was wired and my friend supplied all of the words for me

Yup, that's the odd part.
Are you pulling our collective leg?

Nope, he thought it would be interesting to put a camera/microphone/ear piece on me and make me go talk to strange women. Apart from the obvious humor value, he was studying sociology and I think his lab rat died, so had to put someone in the maze and throw cheese at. He wanted someone not that bad looking but not that good with women, also used another mate (stunning good looks but a complete prat) and fed him awkward things to say).

Hmm......I always wanted to be wired, in some or other difficult social situation, though I don't believe in going out on the pull, and even if I did, I'd consider it cheating because it wouldn't be me, and it's difficult enough to sustain the impression I first make on a woman when we've later got a relationship as it is, without making the fall even bigger.

I wouldn't want to parrot out every word like that either, I think that's likely to look weird even if the actual words were gorgeous. I'd want to basically be myself but just have the wire there for backup, for the occasional hint - e.g. "he's fobbing you off there, repeat your request and don't let him get away," or "shut up about string theory now." In films when they wire people, they don't completely take over the subject's every word, they just chip in where it's relevent.

Still, well done for trying. I've often thought something like a wire or just filming myself could solve a lot of the mysteries about how I really look to others. But more of a data collection and post-mortem exercise.

Was an interesting experiment, I did have a bit of a problem at first when we tried it in practice. I think he came up with the idea after seeing how bad some of the negative reactions were for me normally, he thought it was always something I said but listening he couldn't find a fault with my words. Even the girls when he asked them couldn't say exactly why I rubbed them up the wrong way.

Although 'Shut up about string theory now' were you listening in, that's something I get told a lot.

ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 73
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,534

19 Jul 2012, 9:56 am

DrPenguin wrote:

Even the girls when he asked them couldn't say exactly why I rubbed them up the wrong way.

That's the problem......in the mating game, people don't always know what's going on, even in their own minds.

Quote:

Although 'Shut up about string theory now' were you listening in, that's something I get told a lot.

No, I got that from a thread years ago here, a guy wanted to know how to behave with girls, and somebody said sarcastically, "mumble about string theory for an hour." I found it so funny that I usually remember it whenever I think about meeting women for the first time. Luckily I don't know anything about string theory except that it doesn't usually go down well as light entertainment.

kdm1984
Velociraptor

Joined: 31 May 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 443
Location: SW MO, USA

19 Jul 2012, 10:00 am

ToughDiamond wrote:

lol. Reminds me of a time when my fiance and mom were up at 4 AM one night discussing string theory, I kid you not. I got up because of all the talking and because I had to use the restroom, so I remember it quite vividly.

As an aside, it's always funny when people ask "how do I behave with men or women?" as though there's a set standard to use with the other gender. If it were that simple and able to be put into a pat formula, relationships would be a breeze, but every individual is unique and will react differently to your behavior.

DrPenguin
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 17 Jun 2012
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 259

19 Jul 2012, 10:49 am

ToughDiamond wrote:

DrPenguin wrote:

Even the girls when he asked them couldn't say exactly why I rubbed them up the wrong way.

That's the problem......in the mating game, people don't always know what's going on, even in their own minds.

Quote:

Although 'Shut up about string theory now' were you listening in, that's something I get told a lot.

One of my special interests is quantum physics and fortunately two NT friends are interested in it as well, but the others in the pub wern't so interested. Usually we have to stop talking physics and <shudders> talk about big brother or boxing for 2 hours... that's why I got good at pool (escapism).

puddingmouse
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Apr 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,777
Location: Cottonopolis

19 Jul 2012, 10:55 am

I would so have a picture of penguins playing pool on my wall.

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ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 73
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,534

19 Jul 2012, 11:09 am

kdm1984 wrote:

it's always funny when people ask "how do I behave with men or women?" as though there's a set standard to use with the other gender. If it were that simple and able to be put into a pat formula, relationships would be a breeze, but every individual is unique and will react differently to your behavior.

I always used to get annoyed (and still do) when I see a man's behaviour change just because he's dealing with a woman. Suddenly out comes the extra courtesy and sensitivity. :roll:

I really don't like the way Asian women often cover up from head to foot in those colourless, baggy clothes, but I did hear an interesting anecdote from a guy who talked to one for the first time, and he said (I paraphrase) that it was refreshing to be able to see a woman as a person rather than as a potential sexual deal of some sort. I was quite pleased to hear that because I'd always suspected there was a lot going on between men and women in that way, that never really gets overtly stated.

hanyo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Sep 2011
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,302

19 Jul 2012, 11:16 am

I'm not sure. I'll say 4. I don't like being treated like a woman and I don't like sexist stereotypes and I don't like having a vagina and I like the idea of gay sex but I wouldn't want to have to shave my face and body and having stuff hanging between my legs seems like it would take a while to get used to.

amusedviews
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 31 Dec 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 49

19 Jul 2012, 12:56 pm

I put an 8. I actually really like being a woman. But the gender stereotypes really get to me. They make me hate people far more than hating myself for being born a woman. I am very mixed in what I like though. I am a web design student (more than half are guys) and I love violent video games and dumb guy humor. But I also love fashion, romantic comedies, jane austen, and reading cosmo.

I think I actually have the best of both.

puddingmouse
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Joined: 24 Apr 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,777
Location: Cottonopolis

20 Jul 2012, 2:37 am

Cosmo makes me have meltdowns.

I once ended up self harming and having a meltdown at a burlesque show because I hated myself so much for being so masculine and abnormal.

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amusedviews
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 31 Dec 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 49

20 Jul 2012, 3:19 am

puddingmouse wrote:

Cosmo makes me have meltdowns.

I once ended up self harming and having a meltdown at a burlesque show because I hated myself so much for being so masculine and abnormal.

Oh Cosmo is horrible and in no way should it be used as a definition for how to be a woman. But I like reading it because it is trashy.

ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 73
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,534

20 Jul 2012, 5:56 am

amusedviews wrote:

puddingmouse wrote:

Cosmo makes me have meltdowns.

I once ended up self harming and having a meltdown at a burlesque show because I hated myself so much for being so masculine and abnormal.

Oh Cosmo is horrible and in no way should it be used as a definition for how to be a woman. But I like reading it because it is trashy.

Ah, the decadent West. :roll:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXMtriBEuSw

puddingmouse
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Joined: 24 Apr 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,777
Location: Cottonopolis

20 Jul 2012, 6:02 am

ToughDiamond wrote:

amusedviews wrote:

puddingmouse wrote:

Cosmo makes me have meltdowns.

I once ended up self harming and having a meltdown at a burlesque show because I hated myself so much for being so masculine and abnormal.

Oh Cosmo is horrible and in no way should it be used as a definition for how to be a woman. But I like reading it because it is trashy.

Ah, the decadent West. :roll:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXMtriBEuSw

I don't get your point. I have no problem with women stripping or being burlesque, just with myself sometimes for being the complete opposite of them.

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LostNutritionGurl
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 5 Jul 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 26

20 Jul 2012, 6:29 am

I put all the way... Changing your gender is too mainstream...

ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 73
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,534

20 Jul 2012, 6:32 am

puddingmouse wrote:

I don't get your point. I have no problem with women stripping or being burlesque, just with myself sometimes for being the complete opposite of them.

Sorry I was a tad off-topic and obscure there. I think if these weird entertainments can be shown up for what they are more often, perhaps people such as yourself wouldn't feel so sexually inferior. The same goes for Cosmo. I heard that some researchers compared the article titles on Cosmo's front page with those of Playboy magazine, and found that nobody could tell which came from which publication. I respectfully suggest that big business and the media are capitalising on sex and in the process are giving people some real hangups about their sexuality.

AspieOtaku
Veteran
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Joined: 17 Feb 2012
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,051
Location: San Jose

20 Jul 2012, 6:53 am

Im fine being a guy!! ! A little less stress from being a female no periods no having to wait in long lines to use the bathroom stalls.

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puddingmouse
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Joined: 24 Apr 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,777
Location: Cottonopolis

20 Jul 2012, 6:57 am

ToughDiamond wrote:

puddingmouse wrote:

I don't get your point. I have no problem with women stripping or being burlesque, just with myself sometimes for being the complete opposite of them.

On an individual level, a lot of women, especially ones that are not 'mainstream' enjoy stuff like burlesque and it makes them feel liberated. It's the distance between how I feel about it and how I'm supposed to feel about it that makes me think that I'm f****d up.

I like women. I like soft curvy bodies and naked women. Stuff like burlesque makes me feel like I'm not entitled to call myself a woman because I don't have so much poise or money to spend on custom-made corsets. Like 'women' are made and not born and if I tried to be one, I'd fail miserable because it goes so much against my natural inclinations to put on stripper shoes and wax down there. I can only do 'woman the biological entity' and not 'woman the performance'. It also invalidates my own desires for other women in some way I can't explain. It makes me feel like s**t and I can't explain why.

The fact that some other average-looking lesbian/bi woman on the next table is like 'woohoo burlesque is great! I'm gonna give it a go', makes me want to rip my own head off. The only other women who have feelings similar to mine about stuff like this are some butch lesbians. I honestly don't feel like a butch lesbian; I'm bi and live with a boyfriend, but they're the only other women I can relate to on a lot of things.

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