Cliche advice that sets us back

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You have spoken wisely grasshopper, go to the next level....


I HATE IT when people tell me that rubbish

haha same with comments on, for example, youtube

"if you don't like the video don't comment!!:D!11"

OMG yes. "Just relax and be yourself and people will like you." NO. People don't like me the way I am, and that's the problem!![/quote]

It's when I relax that I get in the most trouble.

No no no, this is the 21st century advice:

"If you can't say something nice, say something vague."

"Just be yourself!"

Whoever coined this phrase wasn't referring to people on the spectrum, at least not me, when I am "myself" I am spaced out, monotone and tend to ramble which certainly doesn't help in social situations.

"Everyone feels that way/has that problem."

Then I'd really like to know their secret for coping so well.

"You're probably just over-thinking things, if you relax things will get better. "

Gee, why didn't I think of that during my 23 years of being a social misfit, after my hours and hours of cognitive behavior therapy, support groups and reading self-help books? Who knew all that time I was just thinking too hard and needed to relax!

"I used to be shy just like you, if you just open up more your problems will go away. It worked for me so it will work for you!"

I have a passive personality type and people tend to assume my social difficulties all come from shyness (which they don't) but even if they did why do people just assume that their experience is universal and that having been shy makes them the expert of the experience of all shy people?

Hats are kinda gay, except the ones cops wear

Actually, that's right. Instead of going to therapy and getting stressed, you could have been doing something enjoyable instead.
Instead of trying not to be a social misfit, you could have not care about that and do something alone.
And instead of reading self help books, you could have read..I dunno...hentai manga?

Enlightened lies in thoughtlessness. Don't think. Don't worry. Be happy.

I agree with your last statement. Thoughtlessness is bliss. Its tough to do and I wish I still had more of it but it is heaven on earth for those relatively short bursts.

Ooooooh yes, this one.

I despise people who believe in this idiotic cliche. Eg: when my sister went around the family insisting everyone must cut all contact with me because I'm "crazy", and I went around the family saying my sister was badmouthing me and not to believe her, everyone said "the truth is always in the middle". Which meant I was "half-crazy".



BRILLIANTLY SAID! When an NT acquaintance told me I should loosen up, get drunk with everyone, I told her NTs can get drunk, autistic must stay alert to their own behavior at all times. One drunk episode can wipe years of hard work on a friendship / job.

Worst piece of "advice" ever, in any situation:

"You're just imagining that."


Also:
"You're just bad with people because all you do is sit on the computer"
"People will stop bullying you when you get older"
"You could do it if you just really wanted to."

Bend your knees
And not your back
Weed is okay
But dont touch smack

I've heard that before. That doesn't explain why I was bad with people my whole life even though I didn't get internet until I was 23 and I didn't get a computer until I was 33.



If that was true I would be doing it. I hate when people act like wanting to do something automatically means you can do it. Things don't work that way. Sometimes you can't do something no matter how much you want to.

Who says I didn't/don't do enjoyable things? A typical therapy session is 1 hour a week, of course I do other things and have hobbies I enjoy. Working on self-improvement doesn't mean I can't still have a life. The point of the post is that the person told me I wouldn't have difficulty in social situations if I didn't think so hard about it, which is incredibly condescending considering how he was oversimplifying a lifelong problem by giving me stupid, cliche advice. Like telling an insomniac if they just lie down and close their eyes they will fall asleep, as if during all their sleepless nights it never occurred to just GO TO SLEEP because it is really just that simple (that's another useless piece of advice I've gotten when I had insomnia).

That insomnia advice is a little..ignorant, indeed.
but but
That person was right. You should try not thinking hard about it.
Just consider-you won't know whether it works if you won't even try-and who knows, it just may. And even if it doesn't work and you'll still have social difficulties...because you won't be thinking hard on it anymore the entire thing will occupy significantly lesser portion of your time and, at the very least, it won't be such a big problem to you anymore.

There are far, far more people that want to give advice than people that have good advice to give.

''You should like clothes/shoe shopping, X-Factor, Britain's Got Talent, and Justin Bieber.''
How can I make myself be into all that? It is possible but it's hard for me to change into a person that likes the last things I would like.

''You should like boys your own age.''
Nah, my peers don't do anything for me. A fat bus-driver in his 30s or 40s will do fine for me. And I am not discouraged because I have read before that a girl of my age had fallen in love with a 50-year-old bus-driver and they got married and are very happy (they don't have children). So, anything's possible.