Who Am I?

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Thanks Mary I assure you, there is more than a little of #20

I do not understand a concept of self as well.
I learned, that I am biologically female, but I do not know how you have to feel "female", I feel nothing what gives a sense of female.
My name is ***** [edit: I got told that it can be dangerous to write your real name online and that I should edit it] and it is a word consisting out of three letters, where two are repeated in different order.
I often fail to respond someone calling this name, but I do forget about the name-letters as well and sometimes I remember them and in my mind I see this order of letters, but it is hard to attach a sense to an order of letters.
I dissolve into patterns that I see and I am dissolving in that pattern.
I am pattern when dissolving into a pattern.
I do stim and I am the tactile sensation I get from a stim without further thinking or elaborating this tactile sensation.
When walking outside I am overwhelmed with the sensations of an outside, like a car passing forms a picture by the round overwhelming noise and I become the round overwhelming noise for a moment, but it is a round overwhelming noise inducing fear.
When walking outside seeing my physical print in a shop window I see a reflection in a shop window.
My brother I have calls me "Schwester" (sister) and at that moment I am the word "Schwester" and I am surprised each time he calls me this and then it makes me smile each time he calls me this, because he always makes me laugh and his voice does remember me of the sensation of laughing.
I dissolve into the music or repeated fractions of the music in my head as long as it plays in my head, and when it does not play I do not.
But it often plays in my head.
With the music I see colors.
The avatar is my cat Tatu.

Hmmn, not sure. When I answered this, I was unsure whether you wanted me to identify who am I as a thing or who am I as in my traits and personality, so I went with the former after a moment of doubt. I agree that I'm aware generally of basic social norms, but I struggle to fit into them and it causes me huge anxiety because it feels so unnatural. I am largely the passive subtype of Asperger's which means that clinically it is much harder to pick up the traits or identify problematic behaviour, I may do OK at passing as NT but I am very much not NT, and I'm very confused because you say "B-self identification requiring a reference to other people or a social institution, such as "I am a mother" and clearly I scored largely B's but then in another post on the thread you say "what I'm now thinking is that B answers are very NT", which is in conflict with what you said about my answers being a female on the spectrum who is more successful at passing as NT. I'm also unsure what you mean by "can act in social roles somewhat autonomously" and "be social without 'choosing' if you are obeying or breaking a social norm". Knowing (or more correctly, learning) what society expects is a very far step from being able to do those things either naturally or without a huge amount of effort and conscious cognitive effort, as well as stress.

I am a man.
I am a driver.
I am a gamer.
I am a philosopher.
I am a student.
I am a teacher.
I am samurai.
I am a cowboy.
I am a knight.
I am an observer.
I am a loner.
I am a member of a population that is like a virus in the grand scheme of the universe.
I am crazy.
I am a child.
I am at a loss of what else to write.
I am a dreamer.
I am tired.
I am at # 18.
I am lost.
I am found.

I think I understand the "chameleon" part, but "choose to obey social norms"? I must be getting better with age lol!

I am
1. an artist
2 awkward
3.inconsistent
4. counterintuitive
5. curious
6. determined
7. long and skinny (all long arms and elbows)
8.organised
9. obsessive
10. oblique
11.alliterative
12 sky blue pink

13. alone
14 singular
15 ab negative
16 dirty
17 overlooked
18.intelligent
19 sweet and salty
20 perpetually perplexed

1. I am me.
2. I am a human being.
3. I am alive.
4. I am curious.
5. I am female.
6. I am order and I am chaos.
7. I am a scientist.
8. I am an introvert and I like spending time by myself.
9. I am a pessimist.
10. I am a "people pleaser".
11. I am a student.
12. I am a puzzle solver.
13. I am obsessive.
14. I am quiet.
15. I am anxious.
16. I am a thinker.
17. I am easily distracted.
18. I am rigid.
19. I am emotional (I struggle with regulating my emotions) and I am logical.
20. I am different.

Hi, I don't really know how to describe myself so I ended up reading through my old posts on WP for inspiration.

1. I can communicate in two languages--English and Chinese (Mandarin).
2. I know many History lovers who love Geography too. Unlike them, my special interests mostly revolve around History, yet I hardly have any interest in Geography.
3. When I was still a kid, I took personality quizzes on Quizilla nearly every day. I even wrote my results down on paper.
4. As an Asian, I'm supposed to live with my family until the day I marry.
5. I'm a "night owl".
6. Some people always complain to me that they always feel very sleepy after lunch. I'm usually at my most alert after lunch.
7. Some people (both Aspies and NTs) have rebuked me for parroting people's opinions. I admit that I usually have a hard time forming my own opinions.
8. I'm an introvert, meaning that even if my conversation with you has gone well, I still need to spend some time alone after the conversation to "recharge my batteries", otherwise I tend to feel tired.
9. I prefer writing to speaking. I can write very fluently, yet I don't really like how my own voice sounds. Some people had told me bluntly that they thought that my monotonous and whiny voice was such a turn-off.
10. In alphabetical order, my top three favorite Disney princesses are Aurora, Belle and Mulan.
11. My favorite fairytale is "The Wild Swans" by Hans Christian Anderson about a princess who knitted shirts for her brothers using stinging nettles so as to break some spell over them.
12. I'm female, but in terms of appearance, I resemble my father more than my mother.
13. My Sun sign is Taurus. I can't recall my Rising sign and my Moon sign.
14. I always do my best to arrive on time, but the sad thing is that I sometimes arrive too early and often arrive too late.
15. I have a tendency to blurt out opinions that offend people, maybe because I feel that if I always remain as quiet as a mouse I might "explode" one day. (E.g. I once offended some people because I had expressed sympathy for murderers such as Cho Seung-hui.)
16. I'm ambivalent towards babies. On one hand, I think that most babies seem so cute. On the other hand, babies irritate me when they cry non-stop in public places.
17. I'm neutral towards most animals, meaning that I neither love them nor hate them. I used to love cats more than dogs, but nowadays, I'm equally neutral towards both cats and dogs.
18. I have a tendency to skim through newspapers, maybe this is why I always miss interesting news out despite reading newspapers almost every day.
19. I hate getting into conflicts because of my hot temper. When a conflict gets too hot for me to handle, sometimes I end up erupting just like a volcano.
20. I admit that I have lots of pet peeves. One pet peeve is people who ask one rhetorical question after another when speaking in public.

I- I am a gamer geek
II- I am a music geek
III- I am a film geek
IV- I am a artist
V- I am a shining free spirited soul
VI- I am a people pleaser
VII- I am capable of not being a people pleaser, but it's hard and I am dependant.
VIII- I am autistic as in Aspergers.
IX- I am a musician
X- I am weird and eccentric
XI- I am creative
XII- I am somewhat of a daydreamer
XIII- I am a computer geek and magic the gathering player
XIV- I am clumsy and naive, yet lazy
XV- I am a fashion designer
XVI- I am brave and honest
XVII- I am sensitive and soft
XVIII- I am a fun and a funny person
XIX- I am sometimes shy and quiet, yet a recluse and introvert
XX- I am a thinker as in broad ways (pessimism, optimism, intelligence/knowledge and facts)

Limit- 20//20

Used up all 20 points stating my personality...... Done.

1. I am Thai
2. I am male
3. I am computer engineering student
4. I am a lazy man
5. I like cats very much
6. But I don't like dogs.
7. I am trying to talk to people better
8. I have ASD
9. I am a bit isolated
10. I am not very good in English
11. I love everything about Japan
12. I have 2 semi friends
13. My dream is that I can live with people and still be myself
14. I love this forum
15. I am trying not to spend too much time with computer
16. My mind and thought can be changed easily and quickly
17. I current interest is star watching and try to recognize constellations
18. I don't know any aspies in real life and want to know some.
19. I can talk very openly with my mother
20. For the last, I like you because of this topic you made and a cat in your profile

1. I am a strange boy.

2. I do not know how I am strange.

3. I have minimalist tendencies.

4. I like chocolate milk.

5. I go for long walks, and I especially like walking at night.

6. I cannot connect with most people.

7. I feel like I am going crazy.

8. I really need my own space, organized in such a way that brings me peace.

9. I cannot see where I will be in ten years, or even five years.

10. I am an alien.

11. I wish that real world responsibilities didn't pull me so naggingly out of my mental space.

12. Sometimes I stare at the ceiling for hours.

13. I feel uncomfortable talking about myself.

14. I wish I was far away from everyone who loves me, in a city I've never been to and living in a castle I can call my own.

15. I wish I had infinite money, so as to easy bypass responsibilities I don't care for and buy "friends" that I can call and dismiss as needed.

16. Part of me is worried that I am too cold and distant from the things that are supposed to matter, but the rest of me doesn't care.

17. The previous sentence is a lie. I'm actually not very worried at all.

18. If asked to define myself, I would struggle. I'm not sure that I have much of a personality.

19. I am what most would call a "good person," in that I appear kind and don't mind helping people with their problems, but the truth is that I don't feel any particular way about humans.

20. I do not feel that I have adequately explained myself in these 20 statements.

~~~

I haven't looked at anyone else's posts before making this in order to maintain the integrity of your test, so I'm very nervous about hitting submit.

Your answers indicate that your sense of self is mostly role-based, or generated from society. I would have expected these answers from someone who is NT. I saw on your profile that you identify as AS, so I assume you're good at "passing" as NT. Someone who gives answers like this probably has a good sense of theory of mind. Your answers suggest that you are aware of social norms and can follow them without many mistakes.

An example of choosing to obey a social norm would be knowing that you should bathe once every day or two, even if you don't feel like it. Or saying "Hello" when you greet someone even though "hello" is a fairly meaningless word. Some people are not aware of a lot of social norms so they only bathe when they want to and/or they never remember to say hello. Your answers indicate that you have learned to obey social norms even when they make little sense. And yes, the ability to see and obey social norms increases with age, although one's stress level can also increase by having to frequently do things that are uncomfortable to them.