Is it wrong to be verbose? Chased off another forum board...
Is your philosophy similar to mindfulness?
Is your philosophy similar to mindfulness?
That's it, with no deep philosophies attached to it really. Just the reminder that what's in my head is just chatter, and to award it the appropriate weight accordingly.
I find when you go in too much detail, people get lost and confused and missed the point of what you are trying to say. So I try and get to the point and leave out other things, it takes lot of practice.
Also I find when you even try and explain yourself, people get even more confused and think you are changing what you are saying or changing your story. So I have learned it's better to leave it and no keep trying to explain it. I have even seen this happen to NTs too and I have observed it and learned from it.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
I have lost a few forums due to my communcation style.
I find that odd because my first fourm was for therapy. I was to hone my skills in a non frightening manner where I had time to think and could always shut off the computer and hide if necessary.
Being somewhat in denial of my condition I spent 14 years forum hopping every interest I could come up with.
After losing my gardening forum last month I came here. It is a better fit but not what I really want.
I post pictures in most forums, lots of pictures to make up for bad texting. I cannot do that here, personal problems with internet usage to post pictures. If it is not direct from the camera I cannot make myself use an intermediate service, one of the silly things causing me difficulty.
Usually I do not mind too much over forum changes, but the last one hurt. I had over 200 positive ratings and 0 (zero) negative ratings when a moderator did not like how I phrased my posts.
I spoke the same there as here, polite, possibly over formal and not too personal. Darn that moderator.
I do not think NT's understand themselves any more than they understand others.
_________________
Speed of Dark
I believe it was George Bernard Shaw who wrote "I'm sorry for this long letter. If I had had more time to write it it wouldve been shorter."
The irony is that its more time-consumeing to write with brevity than it is to be long winded because it takes time to edit.
But the reader doesnt know that ( even if they know it -they dont sense it).
They just think "who does this jerk think they are for rambling on for X number of pages and taking up our time".
One solution is to go offline and into your word processing program - and then write a draft or two -before you go back on line to make your actual post.
Also- try to get down the nub of what your trying to say in your head-before you try to say it.
O.M.G.
I surrender.
You win.
Carry on the same way. Let's see how that works for you.
I can see how you feel.
Move along, nothing to see here.
And you feel the need to make such a comment because?
O.M.G.
I surrender.
You win.
Carry on the same way. Let's see how that works for you.
Do you know what?
Not one person on that forum came up to me and said:
"Hey sweetie, can you please try to condense your posts a little bit?"
Had they have done that, I would have replied with:
"Sure, no problem"
But no, they went straight for the gullet with insult after insult and accusation after accusation whilst refusing to listen my side of things...
-------------
You can pass the blame on to me, but they played just as much of a part in things, as are you now with your replies to me.
Miscommunications happen...but both parties have to be willing to resolve them.
Your reply to mine was offensive. By using the obnoxious you immediately put the reader into defensive mode.
By expecting them to just agree with you because you freely (of your own will) offered them some advice you are being unreasonable.
I was merely trying to explain to you why I was not willing to agree with the advice I was given in that instance (Ie I was trying to explain why the advice I was being given on that forum board was not of benefit to me and why I was not able to agree with it and the claims they were making). My response to your response was not unreasonable and was not personally insulting to you.
If you read it as personally insulting you, that is to do with your own perception of what I have written and that is something I have no control over.
And yet here you are doing the exact same thing as them.
Passing all the blame on to me...
Making glib comments
Being unwilling to listen to another persons perspective because they did not immediately agree with the advice you gave them.
So let me say I was seeing the dr and he started talking to me as though I was suicidal. Do I respond with Yeah I see what you mean and get chucked in a psychiatric ward when I am not suicidal at all? Is that what I am expected to do? Because If i were to agree with them then I would be saying I was suicidal when I was not.
Now if someone said to me it is easier to cut the garden hedge with a hedge trimmer than a pair of garden sheers, you could consider trying it.
Id reply with thanks mate...I'll have a look in argos later.
See now that is useful advice that is relevant and useful and I don't need to give any more detail other than maybe to add It may have to wait until payday lol.
Thank you for your advice anyway, but in this instance I do not wish to take it.
I will bear it in mind for other situations in the future should I find myself in a situation where it might be of use to me.
Now please feel free to continue with your glib remarks and personal attacks on my character, even if those attacks are implied rather than directly stated.
O.M.G.
I surrender.
You win.
Carry on the same way. Let's see how that works for you.
I can see how you feel.
Move along, nothing to see here.
And you feel the need to make such a comment because?
Well if you need someone to explain it to you...
