I hate the word "please"

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Kraftie, are you being silly?

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But you really can't hang clothes outdoors in NYC from November to April.

Coming from the south, it's part of our make up. I have a 30 year old daughter that I've been saying yes ma'am to for 29.5 years. For us, it's simple respect and acknowledgement. I have a 38 year old Son and Grandchildren and Daughter in Law I say the Ma'am and Sir thing to.

Politeness and manners are good things because they are a set of rules that define a basic social contract of behaviour. It is what allows me to at least make some sense of the world around me when everything else is a blank. And it allows you to respond on at least one basic level with NTs and the general population at large.


Too all other interested parties.....
If you feel it is offensive, that's what you have to deal with. But, you cannot expect the population at large to bend towards your will.

I meant that all in the most general way possible. The ma'am thing was a quote and that immediate response to that only.

Im not an advocate of abolishing please. You might ask her darling would you mind making me some eggs? To see if she would? Please could be seen as mild emotional manipulation. Pretty please with cherries on top? Oh ok then, if your gonna go on about it!

It isn't perfect.

Sure you can. They actually dry faster in the cold arid winter air. They will get brittle, but will dry and you can just whack them a few times to break them up.

Depending on how hot the clothes are when you take them out, water can actually sublimate off the clothes to a high degree.

I think this is why some people don't like the word:

When someone tells you to do something, then says "please" at the end, it seems like they're giving you a choice whether to do it or not instead of an order

but you think (perhaps correctly) that, if you don't do what they're asking, they will think less of you or dislike you for it

so I suppose you must think that the person is trying to use guilt to get you to do what they want although this probably isn't the case most of the time

Sometimes, what you say is true.

Other times, though, it's a sincere instance of showing respect.

I guess the difficulty lies, among Aspies/autistics, as to whether one or the other is true.

I use the word as an indicator of the other persons level of need or mood.

"Could you get this please?"----Normal
"Get this for me."----Maybe in a hurry
"Dammit!! Get this for me!"-----No milk for your cheerios this morning? Wow...what a mood!

It all comes across the same for me. But, I do listen for key words to indicate things. Doesn't stop me from doing my weirdness, but I at least have an indicator.

And, if I use it, it seems to work well for them.

So, what's the harm?

Another problem is that women find it hard to differentiate between flirting and politeness. You can say "Good morning!" to a girl you know, and she might be like "I already have a boyfriend.".
Politeness is so rare these days that it can be easily confused with flirting. Being a jerk is fashionable.

*Sigh* Good morning and hello to you too, Cockroach. I know the difference between flirting and politeness [in fact, I wouldn't be able to flirt no matter what I tried, it's like chemistry to me]. Being a jerk is being a jerk, so there is nothing fashionable with being rude or abrasive.

In high school I was classmates with several jerks who were popular and liked by everyone. Whenever I tried to be a jerk myself, I failed miserably and drove people away from me.

By everyone, do you mean that the teachers liked them too? Or was it a combination of teenage hormones and the usual bizarre teenage social normality that caused them to be popular? Well, there you go: being a jerk doesn't get you anywhere. Besides which, what does popularity really matter? I don't care about what other people think of me at all, and I have much better self-esteem as a result.

If I may be so bold Cockroach. It seems you are not willing to accept your differences and expect the world to bend to your view.

That ain't gonna happen for you or anybody else.

^Hear, hear. I'm much to polite and kind to say blunt things like that.

Popularity, like dating, is a strictly competitive game. Those jerks were liked by absolutely everyone, and the teachers favored them. During class, the jerks could do anything without the teacher noticing. Meanwhile, the good students had their smartphones confiscated simply for using them during class, without causing any disturbance. Jerks are alpha people(they have superior genes). You can't become a jerk, you have to be born one.