is it difficult for you to "let go" of negative experiences?

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Trigger warning!

Personally, I have more trouble letting go of mistakes that I make, and not freaking out, shutting down, or acting strange.

A lot of the other things that I refuse to let go of are things I do not *want* or *have* to let go of. People think I should let go of the fact that my mom tried to kill me, never properly apologized, helped me get booted from middle school in relation to "lies" that were actually true, kept me trapped and isolated for four years, discouraged me from graduating high school... The reason I left was apparently my lack of empathy. Part of the reason I left was because I wanted to be more able to be kind to people, and connect to people. (And I had been emotionally abusive to someone I knew. And probably also emotionally or physically abusive to my brother, earlier on, with our fights, depending on your theories on whether kids can be abusive and what even happened in the chaos of my family.) JFC! I am not literally a robot, minotaur, etc...

I got a High School Equivalency Degree without my parents' knowledge or permission, with my mom's discouragement, and my grandmother says, "You know the reason you have that degree is your mother filed so many papers for you to have it." I had secret friends without my parents' permission, and it sometimes took a lot of doing, then got told my parents were coddling me by letting me isolate myself.

Or the uncle who started groping me when I started dressing like a boy. I'm supposed to move on, despite the fact that I asked for an apology or an explanation if it was sommmmmehow a misunderstanding, got neither, and he couldn't even just start over and be consistently *nice* to me. But why don't I wanna let it go and sleep in the haunted closet in the house where he lives, huh?

Yeah, the best my mom is going to get from me is "I do not wish you harm and if there is a situation where I could actually get you into trouble I will try to be fair to you." Better than I've gotten from her!

Anyway, that's a funny story about the cake.