Silly things you did when you were younger

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I haven't been formely diagnosed so I can't really relate any of the stupid things I've done to ASD.
I have a huge list of stupid things I've done , if you've ever watched the TV show Jackass , you'll get the idea of how stupid I was as a kid.

I remember being in speech therapy when I was eight and after we have had a long talk about my behavior in class, my speech therapist asked me "Beth an I happy?" and I look at her face and I don't see a smile or a sad face and she isn't yelling at me and she isn't crying so I didn't know how she felt. Her face was blank. She kept asking me if she was happy and since she wasn't yelling at me or crying, I said "yes" and she kept asking me if she is happy and I kept saying yes. She had to be happy if she wasn't sad or mad and didn't have a sad smile. I understood basic feelings and basic facial expressions but this was more complex because she wasn't doing any of those things so I had to make a guess and go with closest match for my answer.


I remember when I was a kid I always found short cuts to my problems so in school a boy would scream in my class and some other kids and it always got the teacher's attention so I started doing it. At 16 I found another short cut so I tried having ODD so I wouldn't have anxiety anymore and that backfired. I just thought ODD was a behavior and something kids chose to have to get their way and they just made it a condition because most kids don't act that way so anything that is uncommon they make a disorder out of it.

I thought for years that everybody was just pretending to be stupid, so I did it too. I suppose that I did not appreciate that other people might not know/understand the same amount as me, so I concluded that the difference was that they were pretending to not understand. From grade one to grade three, I would pretend that I didn't know answers, or didn't remember things, because I thought that that was what you had to do to be normal.

It's great when this kind of stuff happens!! Sometimes things hit my funny bone just the right way.

I was terrified of the snow plow for no real reason. I would hide from it every time it came by our house. To this day, I still have no idea why I did this. I also used to be obsessed with Nascar as a child, and I would pretend my bike was a race car... we had this medium sized field next to our house... so I would start from the inclined driveway and race all around the field then return to the driveway. I even had an invisible friend based on Elmo, the my version was basically when he was older. XD My parents told me that I used to blame everything on him when I was younger.

My dad was really into fixing and restoring old cars before the Parkinson's took over. He had this neat book thing of all the colors this particular paint brand offered. I saw it had holes in the side and fit in my school binder. I was fascinated by anything I could fit in my school binder. I put it in my binder and showed it to my friends (I had friends back then) on the school bus and everyone thought it was cool. My dad knew I took it to school because he noticed some of the stickers with the colors had been picked at. He wasn't mad or anything, he just thought it was cute that a bunch of first graders found it so fascinating.

I remember thinking you had to be mean to other kids and make fun of them to be normal. Because my mom wouldn't allow such behavior, I thought there was something wrong with her and I thought my mom was strange. My mom calls it taking it too literal. I even thought screaming in school was acceptable and it was something we do there. My mom calls that being literal too. But at least I had it figured out that one behavior is acceptable in one situation but not the other so I knew I could only do it in school but not at home. I thought the same about making fun of others.

Ate cat food, detergent, chewed twigs and scoffed leaves, I still like the occasional leaf and blade of grass.

My thoughts exactly! I thought the exact same things about my classmates, right until 7th grade. Heck, it almost sounds like we went to the same school. Only when I tried to dumb myself down, I'd get in big trouble at home, because I got bad grades when I did that.

I hated when people would be surprised at me for knowing something and put too much attention on me, so I would often pretend not to know things.

Not related to autism. When I was eight, I decided to try and dig to the lava after I had learned in school what was underneath the earth's crust. I never made it that far.

I think I did that too.

This isn't related to autism either, but once I let a golf ball roll into a pipe opening in a wall. I kept on waiting for Jerry Mouse to show up at my door so I can make him retrieve the ball for me. Sadly, he never showed up. I was 3.

My shoes stank and I was embarrassed. They were a sort of trainer style ankle boot so I tried putting them in the washing machine. The washing machine got stuck and I panicked because I knew my mum would be really angry with me (I was genuinely frightened of her back then). I opened the door (no locks in those days) and it flooded the kitchen. In an even bigger panic, I hoovered most of the water up.

I ruined the hoover but managed not to kill myself.

I don't know if anyone remembers an old Flash game called "Spank the Monkey." Here it is (SFW): http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/games/spankthemonkey

When I was 11, I didn't know what "spank the monkey" was a double entendre for and I would constantly innocuously play it on all the school's computers. One time, I even ran around the computer lab yelling "Spank the Monkey!" while trying to get my other classmates to play it.

When I think of some of the stupid stunts I attempted as a child, I thought, "Wow, was I crazy." When I was about seven, I attempted to jump from the swing to the seesaw when I was playing outside. Wow, was that dumb! I got a big fat bruise on my side! When I was in junior high, I tried to skateboard. The thing fell out from under me and I went slam onto my back on the sidewalk! I was lucky I didn't break my neck!