aspie power

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If you had AS you would not say your definition of hobbies are skiing, snowboarding (btw, you misspelled snowboarding) and volleyball.

In the past I've had some moles try to lure me into manipulative traps regarding the subject so they could ridicule me in the end and be jerks.

I don't care what you wrote from the beginning because you strike me as someone who is pretending to have AS but you are really NT to start conflict.

I have this very strange instinct I've developed since childhood that has shown me alot of things about people that without it, I would be completely blind and oblivious.

That instinct is going off and the meter is red. You also have issues. You think the world should revolve around sports and what you think of as hobbies. That is rather self absorbed don't you think and limiting?

If you don't like my hobbies, fine. I'm not going to shove it down your throat. I don't like your ideas of hobbies and guess what? Others try to make me do them. Instead of bringing me pleasure, it pains me. Oh but somehow that is acceptable?

I am diagnosed AS. I can assure you.

The key is to change how we interact with the people around us while remaining true to ourselves. Anyone here who nitpicks tiny details can use that to observe and practice social interactions. It doesn't change who you are, just how you get along. NTs use different masks for different situations. For example, a sales rep is not likely to be as accomodating buying a home as selling one. So, do the same thing. Make and wear the mask you need for the situation. Then when it's all over, relax and decompress. Watch Blade Runner followed by Roxanne (okay, that's me).

Making and using the masks is hard work. I agree with KevinLA that there seem to be some people on the forum who want NTs to understand their needs but don't try to understand what NTs need. Most NT people I meet are nice, with a sprinkling of jerks. There are AS jerks too, so it's not an AS/NT thing. It's a jerk-off/nice-on thing. There is a stereotype of NTs as stupid yokels who live to cause problems for Aspies that has to go. It's on the level of thinking all Russians go around making trouble for moose and squirrel. There are all kinds of posts here covering how to interpret social cues and more coming every day. Use them. It's worth it.

The original quote I saw did not call people with AS inferior. It said we are at a disadvantage when interpreting nonverbal cues. That's exactly right. We think differently because our brains are wired differently. There are good points and bad points about that all over WrongPlanet and other AS forums. Aspies can learn to read and interpret nonverbals, but it takes more effort. Big news, right? The main question is: How do we use the good points while avoiding or minimizing the bad points? Look at it this way: We have a lot to offer, but there is a communication problem. How do we get the message across?

Kitsy is right, those are NOT hobbies! They are games. You are sounding more and more like simply a TROLL.

Then instead of bashing people because they haven't been able to do what you consider to be normal, why not discuss your success stories and what worked for you?

People have differences. There are some people that can go through life with imunity from ridicule for blending in well.

How would people feel if the shoe were on the other foot and computers, musical instruments, coins and stamp collections were considered good hobbies while sports and other mainstream hobbies were not considered appropriate?

Because someone else liked sports, they were outcasted. Dim lights were the norm. There were no flourescent lights. Some people don't work well in dim lighted areas. Suddenly what is considered normal now is abnormal and needs to be fixed. Instead of people accepting those differences, they put down those people.

How would it feel? Just like it feels for people who aren't considered typical. Can you tell me what you did to fit in? Do you like it? What are your hobbies as someone who fits in? How long have you been doing those hobbies?

Second, my hobbies are hobbies and I don't like you telling me that they are not because I find great enjoyment in what I do.

Not so much pride as self-acceptance. But that's not the same thing as not trying. By pushing a piece of yourself away, you fight yourself uselessly. You can accept the AS at the same time you learn to interact with non-AS people. I learned to accept my differences years before I heard of AS. I also improved my social skills.

I got the impression earlier you advocated improving social skills, not changing from AS to NT. Was I correct?

You are being defensive. I am telling you what my definition of hobbies are. Not putting down your definition.

Explain to me how I am supposed to accept ANY part of a condition that has ruined my life?

Being AS means not having proper social skills. Thinking more like NTs will naturally give better social skills.

Like you mentioned in a previous post, I misunderstood the orginal posters intent. (Pride vs. self acceptance)

Before I came to this board. I never even considered an advisarial relationship with NTs . A lot of people on this board seem to have that stance. That is not the correct approach at all.

It came across to me when you said that you don't consider those hobbies and then listed sports as what you consider appropriate hobbies as though you were putting down my definition and others who didn't fit your criteria of hobbies. If I took it the wrong way, so be it but I don't think that I did.

Also, you yourself don't have to accept anything that has ruined your life. On the flipside, people shouldn't also have to accept unnecessary bashing from others who refuse to accept differences in any shape or form.

For me, what has ruined my life were others lack of acceptance because I was trying the whole time not to let my strangeness hinder others around me but at the same time, they just couldn't help but to notice that even through that, there was something still a little off about me.

I've found ways to integrate my natural self into society but the one big issue I have, I'm currently seeking help for because it's something I've tried to deal with alone but haven't been able to make it work.

There are plenty of failures who don't have AS, and plenty of successful people with AS. Therefore, your success or failure in life can't simply be attributed to whether or not you happen to be on the autistic spectrum. Grow up and stop using Asperger's as an excuse for your failings. You are doing precisely what you accused others of doing, using Asperger's as a crutch to avoid having to own up and take responsibility for your own actions. Assuming yourself to be inferior to the rest of the world certainly will not change your situation. Find out what you are good at and play to your strengths. Learn to accept that you are better at some things than at others. This doesn't mean an "adversarial relationship" with NTs. It means learning to make use of the abilities YOU possess, rather than trying to emulate people who have a different set of talents.

Wow. So now you are telling that the fact I have no friends, no job ( and on disability) and no hobbies ( by my definition) can not be simply be attributed to AS? How do you know where I am on the autistic spectrum? You fit in well with the rest of the people on this board.

I am done here. Good luck folks.

Are you sure your definition of hobbies aren't actually what others definitions of hobbies are? What do you like to do in your spare time? What are your interests?

The concept of "social skills" itself is shaky. People who are very well adjusted to their like-minded peer group and call that "a skill" often can't seem to cope well outside of it - I find myself to be more versatile in that sense.

I got viciously mobbed at my previous workplace for being fluent in English (not my mother tongue) and having a uni degree - that does not seem to be happening at my current workplace where those traits are more or less common - and the losers that resented me so much back there wouldn't be able to thrive where I am now. I can think of quite a lot of examples of people that act cool somewhere then look down and mumble or shy away when faced with a different kind of environment. I, for example, find playing along to ranting cab drivers amusingly easy.

People get harassed for countless reasons but, even if "social skills" were something easier to pinpoint, putting the spotlight on them so much 'd be like saying that people get beaten up for being in wheelchairs and that that's what they get for being crippled; it quickly and completely overlooks any moral aspect - so that's quite insane already.
As complicated as things are, insisting with the whole social skills bull is dangerously close to saying that those who suffered genocide did so for lack of social skills.

. . .and that post near the beginning about not being a productive member of society for having AS is just awesome. I'd really like to see how that annoying receptionist woman at a gym I used to go to is a more productive member of society than I just because she messes with people and doesn't have the modesty to cut down her hollow babbling to 50%.

Uh oh. Are you sure that you don't have any physical difficulties? In Autism, I understand they can be invisible, having to do with proprioception. As well, it has been discovered that some of the Sensory issues could be attributed to Synesthesia, and mistaken for a psychotic episode.

An acceptance of one's differences is not the same, IMO, as a focus on one's limitations. I always knew I was different. (Please read my story at: http://narrative.neurelitism.com.) However, that knowledge was one of the motivations for me to become successful.

Are you sure that it's OCD? Instead of an intense ability to focus on something you might be seeking to obtain a personal satisfaction? You seem to be enjoying yourself a bit, even if you might not be accustomed to having your fancy tickled in conversation with other people.