I don't want to be an Aspie. I want that cure.

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I was hated by everyone until I left high school. College was much easier.

Peace out, everyone.

First, if someone is feeling poorly and needs to express it, that is what forums like this are for. Saying "snap out of it," isn't constructive, but trying to find avenues of hope for the person can be. Or, sometimes, just being empathetic. Everyone's experience is different, it is impossible to say that someone else's feelings are not valid, because without living their life, how does one know that?

However, it is also reasonable for someone to call out an analogy that may not really be appropriate, especially if it is a sensitive topic at this time. If someone you care about is suffering immensely from cancer, it is completely natural to get upset when someone suggests such a disease might be better than AS, for whatever reasons they make that comparison.

When both think about it, they will be aware they've hit on currently sensitive areas for the other. Sometimes it's best for the rest of us to stay out of it, and leave the two to clear it up for themselves. They both have a right to their feelings, although certainly there can be more tactful and less tactful ways to express them.

I hope the OP can find her way out of the darkness. 18 is a difficult age, one of uncertainty, and I am sure it is far more complicated when you know you have a condition that changes the odds. I've posted what I hope are helpful comments, and I've read some others that I think were good comments, but only the OP can know what applies for her. Life is difficult for most people, though not in the same ways for everyone, and it takes a lot of life experience to see beyond all those facades.

And I am praying for NQ's mother, because I've gone through this, and cancer is a horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE disease, and until you have watched someone die from it, you can't possibly know why the reference in this thread struck such a cord.

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 14 Oct 2008, 1:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I understand and sometimes feel that way, but I doubt there's a cure. We don't even know the source of AS. I remember a staff who said that they'd rather be an idiot than not have social skills, but I'll hope I can deal with the cards that life gives me.

Thank you all. I deeply apologize for using cancer as a reference. I just didn.t want my aspergers interfering with my life. My future. I am again very sorry.

THERE IS NO CURE!

THERE IS NO MAJIKAL PILL THAt WILL MAKE IT GO AWAY! LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT!

We do not know there is no cure. We suspect there is a connection with enzyme deficiency. Leading to neuropeptides on the loose. From bread. From milk. The devil in the milk. Bread is opium for the masses.
Who is normal anyway?

The majikal pill might then contain an enzyme breaking down these very opioid peptides.
But rationally: Better to restrict intake.
And please: lots of research on what makes this deficiency so common these days. Dare I mention heavy metals?

I knew you would understand.

I really hope you will find the road to turning your AS into an asset for your life, instead of seeing it as interfering. I know that is hard, very hard. You are at a life stage where everything seems so uncertain and so scary, and it is easy to see how knowing you have a condition that comes with burdens makes you worry more, and make you wish you different have it.

Do deal with the associated conditions that make life harder, to the extent you can. I think that is important. And learn your work-arounds. You will be fine, as long as you don't give up.

I'm not trying to be rude, I'm genuinely curious about this. How can Asperger's be an asset? The only thing I'm able to think of if if you're lucky enough that your intense interest open up a viable career opportunity. For those of us without that option, I can't see anything positive about it.

Since I don't know you personally, I can't say what the assets are for you.

For my son, while his ability to think outside of the box can make things difficult, it is also an asset. He truly thinks in ways that others cannot. He is only 11 and has invented amazing games and such. Ok, so he has to accept that some 90% are off the mark and not of interest to anyone but him, but the hits have been really fun for him. While the ratio was difficult for him to deal with at first, he's come to accept that as "normal," and doesn't allow it to deter from being excited for every idea.

Many AS have really high IQ's and an ability to see complex logical relationships that others cannot. Most of the great innovators of our time are believed to be AS.

Many AS are very creative and talented either as writers or actors or musicians.

When you get someone with AS focused on something that interests them, they can achieve amazing things. So you may have to play around with that focus or interest, or channel it, so that it becomes something able to earn money.

My AS husband is an engineer, as was my AS father. A logical, technical job.

My son wants to be an inventor, and we're working with him on achieving that goal.

I think, however, that the roads to success can be difficult for someone with AS to see. My husband and son are easily frustrated and see dead-ends where what really is needed is a detour. Because I'm not AS (some traits, but more NT), I can see the detour required, and help them find it. It has taken me a long time to understand that they really cannot see it, and it can be difficult even with my help, but that alternate road really is there, and both my husband and son get so happy when they finally see it as well, and they've both had a lot of success taking those detours.

An example would be my husband's career. After years of working with the same company, he was tired of it. He wanted a change. But he figured since he can do what he can do, and he had one technical degree, change was impossible, unless it was the exact same job somewhere else. Even for that, he thought he could never get through the interview. We practiced together, I worked with him, his first interview resulted in a job offer, just like that. Which gave him confidence, even though he realized that wasn't the change he needed, and turned the job down. Many swings and turns later, he has started a company (which he found he didn't like running, and closed, but it was a huge personal growth experience) and he is now working for a company in the alternative energy sector, still being mostly an engineer, but also branching out into areas he had never thought he could. Ten years ago he would have said that having his own company or working outside of 100% engineering was impossible. He has now done or is doing both.

What you need is someone who knows you well and is willing and able to help you see the paths that you cannot. They really do exist, I know that from life with my own family, but I also understand why you have a hard time believing it.

And you aren't being rude for asking. I just hope you don't discount my sincerity in answering.

I definitely understand


Right on. I'm the opposite. I have a very hard time thinking outside the box. That has been a hindrance in almost every school program / career path I've tried.


This, I can do. I have a 135 IQ and apply logic to everything. Haven't figured out a way to turn this into a profitable career yet though.


I enjoy writing, but don't have the patience for it. It's something I worked at and took classes for even, but it always ended up being too frustrating.


That's what I haven't been able to do yet. About the only thing that I was ever able to think of was to be a chef or something because I love cooking and do it very well. However, due to additional health problems, I cannot stand long enough to make that a viable option.


I've heard that a lot about Aspies and technical jobs. When I was growing up, I was very interested in computers. I now work in IT and find it excruciatingly boring. My degree is in IT and going to school for something else is simply not an option. Because I can't learn things (well enough) that don't interest me, it makes it hard to move ahead in IT because I have no viable way to learn new things.


That's cool. My problem was that I never knew what I wanted to be or do. Nothing ever sounded appealing.


My mother tries to do that for me, but it hasn't really worked. She's the one who convinced me to go back to school and get my degree. Now I have $100,000 (including interest) in student loans to repay and a career I can't stand. I do see dead ends and no one yet has been able to show me the detours.


I definitely see myself there. My problem is that I have a very limited skill set and no viable way I can improve it. Going back for more schooling is out of the question as I cannot afford it. Unless I'm interested in the subject, I can't learn via books. To advance my current job, I tried that and the information just would not stick, not matter how hard I tried to read/study. I look at various job ads and career programs and am extremely frustrated when I can't find any options that sound interesting that I feel I'm remotely qualified for.


Like I said, my mother tries to do that but with limited success. Because of her, I do have a college degree, but I'm far from convinced that it was worth the time/effort/money to attain. Due to past experiences and my ability to use logic, I can put up those dead end signs you mentioned very easily. Someone will be making a suggestion to me and before they've even finished, I can give them a very detailed and plausible reason why their suggestion won't work. Needless to say, it's very frustrating and I generally feel hopeless.

I totally see where you are coming from. I guess the best I can do for you right now, from here, is .... oh, man, this is tough! What I want you to do is not cut off the brainstorms of others so quickly, but I'm not sure how to help you with that. Long run, it probably won't be their brainstorm at all that works for you, but a different idea that allowing yourself to be involved in the brainstorm process will trigger in you. My husband found his own roads, really. What I helped him do was open his mind to the possibility that a different road might exist in the first place. But heck, he found these in his forties. He'd spent a decade hating his job before that. And, I think, knowing that I could go out and get a decent paying job if everything crashed on him helped him allow himself to take what he saw as huge risks.

And closing that company was really tough for him. He might have never been willing to take another risk on anything if I hadn't been such a cheerleader about all the good that came out of it. And there was good. It was such a growth experience for him. He changed as a person, in good ways, ways that he is proud of. He just had a difficult time pulling that out of the pile he saw as "failure."

So I'm going to go back to the idea of just trying to open your mind to brainstorms and ideas. You don't have to act on them. That may be a long way down the road. You've got a job, you're fine. You're just bored. Really bored. Oh, do I ever know that one, too! I get SO bored, I have to upend my career every 5 years or so just to keep from drowning in it.

ANYWAY, find a way to experiment with following different roads. Apply for jobs you don't have the qualifications for, knowing you won't get the job, but just because the practice of applying for it can be helpful. And so forth. Try things on that don't fit, just because.

I'm not sure anything of that makes sense. This is so far beyond what can be done on a message board. But I hope you do find your way.

I DON'T WANT CANCER, btw, but I can see what you mean.
I would want as many people to know and be accepting of Autism as there are for Cancer and AIDS etc.

I don't want to ASD. I hate my ASD. I feel embarrassed by it. I feel frustrated by it. I want the cure, as I know that my personality won't change drastically if I did take it.

What I DON'T approve of, as is the case with a few people on this forum, are to be TOTALLY Sociophobic. I'm Mid-Functioning, but I try as much as I can to be social. I have friends, I do things outside of school. I don't understand these people who sit around moping, and then never do anything.

I'm not having a go at anyone in this thread, I'm just getting my voice in to the proverbial cook-pot.

Finally, I'm not the only one. SOMEBODY has to do something about this before I go insane from insanity. Or I stab myself, whichever comes first. I don't want to end up being a nerd glued to the computer 24/7, or someone who is obsessed with camera models of Sony from 1984 to 1996.

Some of us probably don't know what we can do. I used to have a good number of friends (well, a good number for me anyways). Earlier this year I had 5. All my life, I've never had more than 1 or 2 at a time, so I thought 5 was pretty good. As the year went on, 2 of them got married and don't have time to hang out with me as they're busy with their own families or socializing with other couples. 2 others moved away so we can't hang out anymore and the other one just kept flaking out to the point it was more frustrating trying to be friends than it was worth. so now, I have 0 friends and no real way to make more. The 5 I did have I either met at school or through people at school. Since I'm no longer in school, that door is closed. I can't stand the people I work with so there are no options there. I sit around and mope a little because I really don't have anything better to do. I don't want to go out by myself and due to my Aspergers, I have a very limited scope of interest and the thought of spending time/money doing something that doesn't interest me is more repulsive than sitting in my house moping. I definitely feel like I'm on the wrong planet because none of the available options seem to work for me.

By the sounds of that though, you do CARE about having friends and a life. It's the people who don't care about it that get me quite annoyed. It's the people who go "I can't do it, so I won't." that annoy me. You've tried. You just need a push in the right direction. Maybe start your own club about what you like. Maybe only for Aspies (is that the right word? O.O) so they can make friends as well. Maybe hire a hall once a week, or your house. If you like gardening, get an allotment. If you like computers, go to an eCafé more often. Maybe if you want to me tgive you some ideas about your personal interests, PM me, and I'll think of something, if you'd like me to.

I enjoy acting, so I join a drama group.