Neurotypicals are happier than people with AS

Page 6 of 8 [ 120 posts ] Go to page Previous 1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Benjamming
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 8 Dec 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 58
Location: New Zealand

08 May 2009, 6:34 am

millie wrote:

marshall wrote:

Benjamming wrote:

100% in agreement with you, Doc - I'm glad to hear someone else voice my thoughts. Happiness is a choice, always. Its a state of mind, and has nothing to do with getting what you want and all about appreciating what you have. It sounds trite and stupid until you realise it for yourself - then it makes perfect sense.

It's trite because it can't be backed up. It doesn't logically follow that happiness is a choice just because it's a state of mind. Physical pain is also a state of mind but I bet you can't hold your hand on the stove and choose not to feel pain.

very wetsern and middle class way to think - this happiness is a choice idea. It's a but too indulgently New Age for me. (the horrors of Louise Hay.....yikes.)
I personally believe i can implement this choice to some degree, but i am in the luxurious position of doing so by virtue of my cushy little life in Australia's subtropical east coast region... roof over head, education, water, blah blah blah.

Ask a starving kid in Darfur or its mother and i am sure the answer will be somewhat different.
A few families in Sierra Leone may also beg to differ with this line of thinking too.

Actually its very much an eastern philosophy. A core tenet of buddhism is that desire brings suffering. To be forever thinking that "When I get ..... I'll be happier" is fatal because happiness is a state that can't be attained by outside sources.
I reiterate; it has nothing to do with getting what you want, but appreciating what you have. I got hit by a car last week; knocked off my bike, bounced off the windshield then landed on the road. I walked away, and I've spent the last week in shock and awe at that. I absolutely appreciate how hard depression is to deal with - I have been there and done that, but there's nothing like a near death/serious injury incident to make you appreciate being able to live and breathe.

Whatsherhame
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 3 Jan 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 284

08 May 2009, 10:33 am

I must be an enigma, then. I'm the happiest person I know.

CMaximus
Deinonychus

Joined: 3 Nov 2007
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 387
Location: Calgary, AB, Canada, Earth

08 May 2009, 11:04 am

In any event, it's probably safe to say that neurotypicals don't drastically overthink everything the way we do, for better or for worse.

marshall
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,752
Location: Turkey

08 May 2009, 2:19 pm

Benjamming wrote:

millie wrote:

marshall wrote:

Benjamming wrote:

I absolutely agree that happiness can't always be attained by outside sources. However for me not having desires is equally fatal. The idea that happiness is relative isn't a comforting one to me. If I'm feeling particularly empty and I can't find any external cause for the pain then this realization only draws me deeper into despair. Sometimes I really do want to appreciate what I have, believe me I do, but I just can't. I'm starting to believe I have a form of bi-polar disorder though so I'm not sure this trait of mine has as much to do with autism as it had to do with strong chemical imbalances that occur.

Quote:

I reiterate; it has nothing to do with getting what you want, but appreciating what you have. I got hit by a car last week; knocked off my bike, bounced off the windshield then landed on the road. I walked away, and I've spent the last week in shock and awe at that. I absolutely appreciate how hard depression is to deal with - I have been there and done that, but there's nothing like a near death/serious injury incident to make you appreciate being able to live and breathe.

I'm happy to hear that you're still here with us and hopefully recovering.

Greentea
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Jun 2007
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,745
Location: Middle East

10 May 2009, 7:35 am

I had never believed in this, but this week I spent a couple days in hospital due to an eye operation and, though I've had a life (and especially the last year) from hell, I learned to appreciate my luck when Í passed so many people who were talking on their cells at the hospital. GOOD LORD, those conversations reminded me how much worse off I could be. The one I remember most vividly was the last one, as I was going to the bus stop to wait for my bus home: "...and she said that next week, hopefully, we'll know if it's an infection or a tumor, if there's no strike at the hospital."

_________________
So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur.

Whatsherhame
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 3 Jan 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 284

10 May 2009, 9:48 am

It's useless to rate any one group of people as happier or not happier.

Let's say an autistic person has a loving, supportive, family. Let's say a 'neurotypical' person has a dysfunctional family full of alcoholics and abusers. The Autistic person is not going to be miserable simply because he or she is autistic. The Neurotypical person is not going to be happy go-lucky simply because he or she is Neurotypical.

Happiness is not the disorder or lack of disorder. Happiness is not about identifying with one social/disability group over the other. Happiness is not about holding one set of political beliefs or not holding another. Happiness is circumstantial and it seems to be based on the people in your life. To say the the so-called neurotypical people are all happy is just as much of a generalization as saying all autistic people are sad, or that one group is more happy/sad than the other. And that opens the door for more stigma and views as us the autistics as bigots. Do we honestly need that with all the doom and gloom swirling around about us? :oops:

natesmom
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 May 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 631

10 May 2009, 2:54 pm

I don't know if that is true. NT's just are good at faking their happiness by smiling and appearing more sociable. I, like many "NT's" (kind of - ADHD, sensory issues and nonverbal problems) act all social in groups but can't wait to leave. My husband who is undx on the spectrum didn't mind staying at our wedding for a longer time. I needed to leave.

A lot of NT's feel the need to act more happy where as a lot of people on the spectrum don't feel the need to fake it. That actually makes some NT's unhappy because they feel like they do need to fake it. I personally can't stand the question "How are you." I used to be honest but found that most other NT's don't know how to respond to honestly. Again, this is a huge stereotypical response.

Hero
Snowy Owl

Joined: 6 Feb 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 141

10 May 2009, 3:26 pm

TheDoctor82 wrote:

Brittany2907 wrote:

KevinLA wrote:

Say what you want.

NTs are sheople, they are robots, they are shallow, etc. But the bottom line is that they are happier than people with AS.

Is there anything is nothing more important than being happy?

All the NT bashing on this board doesn't really make a lot of sense.

I don't think anyone is truly happy regardless of if they have AS or not. Everyone faces individual challenges in life & it doesn't matter what those challenges are, they can make that person miserable.

Challenges don't make people happy or sad; it's how people deal with those challenges mentally that decide it. It's one's own choice to be happy or sad about how something turns out. Basically, you take something as you chose to take it.

For instance, seeing all the "woe is me" crap on these forums gets me discouraged every time I try to help...but at the same time, no one is telling me to get discouraged; it's my choice. I could just go ahead and say "to #e!! with 'em all", but I don't...and that's my choice entirely. It's also my choice, entirely, to attempt to inspire everyone. I can see how well it works overall, but no one is forcing me to continue to try.

I have basically said it in regards overall to social interaction, and have no major qualms about it.

Your confusing the notion of those who find meaning in being vs those who find meaning in becoming.

To some the highest ideal of life is striving to develop all skills essentially(if one could do it for eternity), would lead to omniscience.

In otherwords, becoming matters. As a result, this idea of finding happiness in what you see around you will mean little to nothing to such a person. That argument only works for those who are depressed and find meaning in the state of identity of self or being they are in.

richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
$Xfractor Card #351$

Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind

10 May 2009, 3:48 pm

i wouldnt think so. i have a few nt sisters, and cousins and they all got some real bill. they just can cope better

Benjamming
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 8 Dec 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 58
Location: New Zealand

12 May 2009, 12:31 am

marshall wrote:

Thank you, I appreciate that. All I had was bruises, thankfully.
Some advice that helped me was to try and separate yourself from your thoughts. Meditation is ideal, but any state can work. Our minds are far too active, and if you learn to observe it, you start to see that it makes its own problems far worse than they need to be. You are not your mind, and if you can find the level inside yourself thats below it, I promise you'll be happier.

twinky333
Hummingbird

Joined: 30 Apr 2009
Age: 68
Gender: Female
Posts: 21
Location: Alabama

14 May 2009, 8:40 pm

Life is certianly easier and a lot less stressful for them.They understand the social order and accept their place in it without question. But life is a differant kind of experience for them and we really can't compare. If we were all the same would we really be happier ?

CaptainTrips222
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Mar 2009
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,100

15 May 2009, 3:17 am

Hovis wrote:

Absolutely accurate. It would be false to say, "Most NT people are stupid," because that simply isn't true; there are a great many who are very bright indeed.

Well, bright in many ways, but when it comes to non-NTs, most are absolutely lost.

bdhkhsfgk
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 May 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,450

05 Jan 2010, 4:57 am

What about depressed NT's?

Those with mental problems?

This topic is very interesting.

Janissy
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 May 2009
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,450
Location: x

05 Jan 2010, 8:25 am

I'm going to challenge the core assumption of this thread which is that happiness is a static state that people either have or don't have.

I don't think it is.

I think happiness is very fluid and is a mental state that everybody feels sometimes and doesn't feel at other times. It is even possible to be both happy and unhappy simultaneously, a state called bittersweet happiness.

Happiness isn't something that people are or aren't. It is a temporary state of mind and it means different things to different people.

Snazzlestick
Deinonychus

Joined: 1 Jan 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 305
Location: PRL

05 Jan 2010, 10:08 am

BS.

I'm a miserable bastard

_________________
The blues are because you're getting fat, and maybe it's been raining too long. You're just sad, that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid, and you don't know what you're afraid of.

CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 121,179
Location: In my own little country

05 Jan 2010, 10:51 am

Wow! I was looking back at my posts on this thread. I've said some pretty bad things about NTs and mainstream society. That was me as a Punk, though. Now that I'm back to the real CockneyRebel who likes the 60s, I regret the things that I've said, and I wish that I could take it all back. Not all NTs are bad, there is no one group that's happier than the other, and I'm more a part of the mainstream than I was before, but in a Mid-60s sort of way. Bad bad bad. If I only knew that I was going to get back to being the real me, I would have thought before I posted. Words are like toothpaste out of a tube. Once they come out, you can't put them back in.

_________________
The Family Schlager

Page 6 of 8 [ 120 posts ] Go to page Previous 1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 Next

Jump to:

Neurotypicals are happier than people with AS Post Reply New Topic

Neurotypicals are happier than people with AS