Female AS traits--i found this list

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Hard to identify, yes. And at the same time instantly rejected. They don't see anything wrong with us but they somehow feel everything is wrong with us. Great way to live.

Now, would you like me to highlight the ones which I fit?

* Eccentric personality
* Often musical, artistic
* May have been diagnosed as autistic or Asperger's when young, or may have been thought of as gifted, shy, sensitive, etc.. May also have had obvious or severe learning deficits
* May have a savant skill or strong talent(s)
* May have a strong interest in computers, games, graphic design, inventing, things of a technological and visual nature
* Most of the time, she will be a self-taught reader, been hyperlexic as a child, and will possess other self-taught skills as well. Many of those skills will be traditionally thought of as male - true if you remove the gender pronoun
* Emotionally immature and very sensitive
* Is often misunderstood and thought to be cold-natured and self-centered; unfriendly
* Anxiety and fear are prevalent emotions
* Strong sensory issues--sounds, smells, etc and is prone to overload.
* Sometimes has meltdowns in public, sometimes over seemingly small things (sensory issues usually)
* Is very outspoken at times, mute at others. May get very fired up when talking about passions/obsessive interests
* More open to talking about feelings and emotional issues than males with AS
* Like her male counterpart, will shut down in social situations once overloaded, but is generally better at socializing in small doses. May even give the appearance of skilled, but it is a 'performance'
* Doesn't go out much. (Will prefer to go out with partner only or children if she has them)
* Will not have many girlfriends and will not do 'girly' things like shopping with them or having get-togethers to watch chick-flicks
* Will have a close friend or friends in school, but not once adulthood is reached
* May or may not want to have a relationship. If she is in a relationship, she probably takes it very seriously but she may choose to remain celibate or alone = WTF? 'May or may not'? That covers the bases nicely.
* If she likes a male, she can be extremely, noticeably awkward in her attempts to let him know, e.g. she may call him repeatedly. This is because she fixates and doesn't understand societal gender roles. This will change with maturity
* Usually loves animals but not always due to sensory issues
* Dresses comfortably due to sensory issues and practicality
* Will NOT spend much time on grooming and hair. Hairstyles usually have to be 'wash and wear'. Can be quite happy not grooming at all for extended periods of time.
* Is youthful for her age, in looks, dress, behavior and tastes.
* May have many androgynous traits despite an outwardly feminine appearance
* May not have a strong sense of self, and can be very chameleon-like, especially until older (forties, fifties) or until diagnosed
* Moody and prone to bouts of depression. May have been diagnosed as bi-polar or manic depressive (common comorbids of autism/AS) while the AS diagnosis was missed. (Often doctors are dismissive of her protests when she takes issue with these diagnoses)
* Probably given several different prescriptions to treat symptoms. Will be very sensitive to medications and anything else she puts in her body so may have had adverse reactions. (**Temple Grandin recommends smaller doses of meds and supplements for autistics--I concur.)
* 9 out of 10 have noticeable Gastro-intestinal difficulties--e.g. ulcers, acid reflux, IBS, etc.
* May be highly educated but will have had to struggle with social aspects of college. May have one or many partial degrees
* Can be very passionate about a course of study or job, and then change direction or go completely cold on it very quickly
* Will often have trouble holding onto a job and may find employment daunting (see my book "working with AS" or "Asperger's on the Job")
* Usually smart as a whip, yet sometimes can be slow to comprehend. Again, due to sensory and cognitive processing issues
* She may like rules, discipline, regulation, despite unconventionality. May seem old-fashioned in some ways--very Jane Austen or Emily Bronte in thinking and manners, which will seem contradictory to her progressive nature
* Very rigid in certain habits, again which will contradict her seeming spontaneity
* Needs control over her world; hence, usually happiest at home or in other controlled environment
* Will usually be very proud and protective of the gifts that autism has bestowed, but would like to be more at ease in the world and suffer less.

A lot of those I didn't highlight was because they were deliberately worded for females; if I was female I'd fit them.

This is a fantastic list.

Eccentric personality
Often musical, artistic
May have been diagnosed as autistic or Asperger's when young, or may have been thought of as gifted, shy, sensitive, etc.. May also have had obvious or severe learning deficits ~ was tested for giftedness twice, although i failed the tests, shy and sensitive, definitely.

May have a savant skill or strong talent(s)
May have a strong interest in computers, games, graphic design, inventing, things of a technological and visual nature
Most of the time, she will be a self-taught reader, been hyperlexic as a child, and will possess other self-taught skills as well. Many of those skills will be traditionally thought of as male ~ self taught myself many things.
Emotionally immature and very sensitive

Is often misunderstood and thought to be cold-natured and self-centered; unfriendly ~ [i]This is the part that makes me so mad cause people assume i am just too good to talk to them. They couldn't be more wrong!
Anxiety and fear are prevalent emotions
Strong sensory issues--sounds, smells, etc and is prone to overload.
Sometimes has meltdowns in public, sometimes over seemingly small things (sensory issues usually)
Is very outspoken at times, mute at others. May get very fired up when talking about passions/obsessive interests
More open to talking about feelings and emotional issues than males with AS ~ nope, just like males, i don't talk about my emotions. I tend to bottle them up.
Like her male counterpart, will shut down in social situations once overloaded, but is generally better at socializing in small doses. May even give the appearance of skilled, but it is a 'performance' ~ I usually just walk away or if i see one of the kids, i casually go to them like i need to tell them something. And i do put on performances when needed.
Doesn't go out much. (Will prefer to go out with partner only or children if she has them) ~ I like going out, but rarely ever alone. I always have bf, the kids or all with me.

Will not have many girlfriends and will not do 'girly' things like shopping with them or having get-togethers to watch chick-flicks
Will have a close friend or friends in school, but not once adulthood is reached
May or may not want to have a relationship. If she is in a relationship, she probably takes it very seriously but she may choose to remain celibate or alone ~ I tend to hold on to relationships for long periods of time. I never justed dated around.
If she likes a male, she can be extremely, noticeably awkward in her attempts to let him know, e.g. she may call him repeatedly. This is because she fixates and doesn't understand societal gender roles. This will change with maturity ~ no never! I am awkward in their presence and i try avoiding them at all costs. This caused me a few possible bf's as they later told me i should have been up front cause "we could have had something." lol!

Usually loves animals but not always due to sensory issues ~ They are not complicated.

Dresses comfortably due to sensory issues and practicality ~ not necessarily due to sensory 100%, but more afraid someone will look at me. I hate being looked at by strangers (or anyone really).
Will NOT spend much time on grooming and hair. Hairstyles usually have to be 'wash and wear'. Can be quite happy not grooming at all for extended periods of time. ~ Wash, brush out the knotts and let it dry. 'Bout it!
Is youthful for her age, in looks, dress, behavior and tastes.

May have many androgynous traits despite an outwardly feminine appearance
May not have a strong sense of self, and can be very chameleon-like, especially until older (forties, fifties) or until diagnosed
Moody and prone to bouts of depression. May have been diagnosed as bi-polar or manic depressive (common comorbids of autism/AS) while the AS diagnosis was missed. (Often doctors are dismissive of her protests when she takes issue with these diagnoses)
Probably given several different prescriptions to treat symptoms. Will be very sensitive to medications and anything else she puts in her body so may have had adverse reactions. (**Temple Grandin recommends smaller doses of meds and supplements for autistics--I concur.)
9 out of 10 have noticeable Gastro-intestinal difficulties--e.g. ulcers, acid reflux, IBS, etc. ~ growing up, i had a weak stomach. Always had stomach aches and always felt sick even though my mom said i was fine.
May be highly educated but will have had to struggle with social aspects of college. May have one or many partial degrees
Can be very passionate about a course of study or job, and then change direction or go completely cold on it very quickly
Will often have trouble holding onto a job and may find employment daunting (see my book "working with AS" or "Asperger's on the Job") ~ Every job i have gotten was through somebody else. Currently unemployed, needing to get back in the workforce and completelydreading it! Meeting new people while learning a new job...so overwhelming.
Usually smart as a whip, yet sometimes can be slow to comprehend. Again, due to sensory and cognitive processing issues

She may like rules, discipline, regulation, despite unconventionality. May seem old-fashioned in some ways--very Jane Austen or Emily Bronte in thinking and manners, which will seem contradictory to her progressive nature
Very rigid in certain habits, again which will contradict her seeming spontaneity
Needs control over her world; hence, usually happiest at home or in other controlled environment

Will usually be very proud and protective of the gifts that autism has bestowed, but would like to be more at ease in the world and suffer less.

Is the sense of self being referred to here an external sense of self, ie the sense of self that someone projects outwards in social situations?

I wonder if there is in fact an external sense of self ie. how well one fits in with one’s social peer group or how well one knows one’s role and place in society.

External sense of self: a sense of self one develops with reference to other people?

For example the statement:
'I enjoy listening/playing punk rock music because my friends do too.'
Would be an expression of someone's external sense of self. Their beliefs and activities with reference to what other people in their peer group do.

I believe that I have a relatively poor external sense of self. That is a poor sense of self as in I don't always know how to respond or interact in social situations. I also don't 'clique up' easily. I choose my own activities usually because I want to do them, not because they were recommended to me by other people.


However, I have a very strong internal sense of self.
People have told me this.
I know where my internal strengths and weaknesses are.
I know exactly how I like to work and what I like.
I could write all of these things down with no problems if asked.
I’m learning how my own mind works and I enjoy deep analysis.

Internal sense of self: a sense of self one develops with reference to his/her own individual mind?

Strong internal sense of self = self centered or self aware
(depending on your point of view)


I think it’s important that this distinction be made.
There is a difference.

There’s a difference between how well you know the self in your own head and how well you know the surface self you project to/interact with other people/your role in a social group/situation.

So glad to finally see something like this online. Like most of you ladies (and some rather perplexed boys!) I can identify with almost everything on the list.

The things that really grabbed me are the ones that seem to talk of contradiction i.e. lots of androgynous traits despite feminine appearance and seem to have Jane Austen-like manners that contrast with her progressive outlook. That's me.

The biggie that stood out as being very un-me was the one about having a strong interest in tech and maths etc. I'm so challenged in those areas and, though they always interest me when the topic of fiction or film, I'm not really interested in them in reality beyond a passing curiosity.

I don't think the woman that wrote this is trying to say that those things mean you are an aspie, in the same way that, for example, the things listed on the DSM-IV but more that if you are one and you are female then - based on her research - you'll have a lot of those qualities.

I fit this quite a bit better than i do the standard list of AS traits and im male. i found the part about AS women tending to feel half n half when it comes to feminine and masculine identities quite interesting as ive always found gender stereotypes, roles and identities frustratingly confusing and tbh quite stupid and have oddly never thought about it in this way before.

I think it's a pretty good list, and definitely a good start. A few things particularly jumped out at me as being noteworthy for further consideration; crying meltdowns, often over hunger issues but also other things, and overactive happy stimming (such as jumping about, singing etc.).

I honestly don't think I've read a better description of my AS than that list. The only things I didn't fit were that I've always had a strong sense of identity, my special interests sometimes are odd subjects, and that I don't totally abandon special interests and go "cold" on them. (I will switch direction quickly from which obsession is my current primary one that I want to ramble about, but I never completely lose interest in my special interests.) But everything else fit me perfectly. It might as well have been a list describing me. I'll have to show this to my mom; she'll enjoy it.
-OddDuckNash99-

fits me!
but i stutter . not always, only when excited.

I feel like I identify more with the 'male' traits. :\

My experiences the same as u Greentea.
It is a mental bender... when experienced over many years!

It has been the 'enigma' of why, what the, behind the experience/s that has been a self esteem saver for me....the puzzle of it all and the sensation of living the puzzle......!

Even without knowing what caused and sustained this issue for me, the knowing that an explanation would be available one day, kept the emotional dismay at arms length and stopped me from getting morose and bitter about my lot in NT expression of The Relationship

PS,

I must have a Chinese sense of time!!

I normally do not say this, but this list is dead on accurate in terms of describing me. I mean its not 100%, but its pretty darn close.

fairly spot on for me, with one notable exception:
"similarly physical when happy ... dancing, bouncing, etc"

when other people are reacting to something, getting excited about it, i don't understand how it seems to travel to their body so quickly (or at all) .. i just stand there confused, and i start getting that feeling that i'm an anthropologist on another planet ...

i tend to stutter when excited.

and i sometimes like to go shopping, but only to thrift stores where no salesperson will accost me, and i'm pretty much looking for obscure items or things to add to various collections.

i immediately dropped a drama class in college, despite a serious interest in theater, because there was talk of partnered exercises that involved physical contact with people i didn't know.



yes. very important distinction, as it could make answering a question about how strong a sense of self you have very difficult.



i think this bit can be a very good indicator - relating better in friendships with very systematic thinkers at the very least, and / or with women who don't fit socialized gender roles. my female friends have been tomboys, lesbians, and those with whom i share a really specific interest. otherwise i'm exclusively much more comfortable with men. this has been a big problem as i've gotten older, though, because i'm frequently perceived as trying to steal someone else's partner, or simply relating to him better than the gf or partner does. i've lost friends, and in one case a job, over this misconception.

Also I'm perceived as being casual about men when i'm anything but, and even when i explain this, it makes no difference: i'm not treated as a relationship prospect.



lol .. eloquently put.



i wonder this too. some women obviously fit the male stereotype more, and i wonder if those are the women more likely to be diagnosed?

all in all i think this is very helpful. i wish i had seen it twenty years ago.

It's eerily accurate for me, except for a few items that don't fit.