Why do you keep quiet?

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It seems to me that being quiet is the better choice over speaking. Especially with random strangers.

The less I give away, the less that can hurt me. The less of a target I am. And I know that I am a target. especially in public places like the PUBLIC TRANSIT. Bunch of weirdos always gravitate to the Bus system, and once in a while one of them will say some "off-kilter" comment or question and its best that I just ignore them and pretend I didn't hear them. Most people don't waste their time after that. I don't want to play into their game.

The NTs I know, and My Dad are really good at Immediately judging the situation and processing what was meant by the remark or question and give an appropriate response. I do not give an appropriate response, because every time I have responded, it backfires and I receive a re-response that is unpleasant. So yeah I don't trust strangers.

why can't people just say hi? When I have tried speaking I usually get it wrong and it almost always backfires. WTF

Really? f**k most people. I would rather be quiet than share any part of me with them.

1. I am inarticulate.
2. I have nothing to say.
3. I try to follow the Buddha's criteria for deciding what is worth saying.

I only talk when 1. I have something to say, and 2. someone is listening to what I'm saying. So I don't talk much. A fair amount, but no one would describe me as talkative.

I don't talk much because:

1. I don't really feel like saying anything.

2. Most people in my age group don't talk about what I like to talk about.

3. When I was younger I had a tendency of digging holes for myself because I lacked tact.

During conversations everyone usually talks about things I either don't like, don't care about, or can't talk about because I don't know anything about the thing they are talking about. I'm also just shy and I'm afraid of saying something stupid.

wow, lots of stories. some of us do not physically speak to other humans because of speech, medical/mental issues. severe stuttering in my case and being mute for years at a time. long story.

on w.p., i feel free to let my freak flag fly. i try to be humorous when i can, to give support to those who seem to need it, and to TRASH those who think animal abuse is ok, or attack me/others for having such abusive childhoods. i don't get it. i sometimes wish w. p. was limited to those who are on the spectrum, but i'm a rider, not the conductor.

phones! phones! we don't need no stinkin' phones. like some others....phones are evil. spawns of satan!

A lot of these replies sum up the way I feel. I never know what to say in situations where it's just a social event (like getting together for coffee, where nothing else is happening). When I was in college, I seemed fine. In classes I knew what to say and if I knew an answer I knew what to do... raise my hand and answer.

I feel like I don't have a lot in common with most people around me. My hubby is in the army and most other wives have kids. A lot of social events revolve around kids and those I do not attend because I don't have kids. It seems that the topic of kids takes up 90% of the conversations. Once they find out I don't have kids, it's like they stop talking to me.

I just feel I lack the social skills relating to making small talk. I want to get better at this because it seems like this is how one starts the friend making process. Most times I prefer to be alone and this may be a result of my poor social skills. It has become this cycle that I can't seem to break out of. I lack social skills -> I don't socialize, so I don't practice social skills...

Any suggestions on how to improve would be greatly appreciated.

It's easy to keep silent when you've got nothing to say. I've learned the hard way that when I say something that makes sense to me out loud or I try to engage others in conversation I just get a blank stare or a 'yeah sure' and then a quick change of subject. Do that about a hundred thousand times and eventually you just won't say boo to a goose to begin with. At that moment...welcome to my world!

The reason why I keep quiet in social situations is because I'm afraid to talk, because of the fear that no-one will listen to me if they're not looking at me. Also, I keep thinking that if I join in, I might get mistaken for butting in. So I don't always know when is the right time to talk (unless somebody's asking me something). Once at a social event in a pub, I went with a crowd but I found myself sitting in the most awkward place - the corner where everybody else is positioned with their backs to me, without really realising it. And I'm afraid to speak because I wasn't in anybody's firing line, therefore nobody's ready to hear what I've got to say if I do say anything.

That's the thing what has always confused me - when I talk to NTs but they're looking another way, they don't seem to hear, but if an NT speaks to me (even when I'm looking the other way), I still hear them and I turn round to face them. What is this?
I've always thought that was a strange one, because I thought it'd be the other way round: the Aspie not hearing the person speaking to them if the Aspie wasn't looking at them in the first place, and the NT hearing another person speak to them even when looking the other way first. It seems my ears are always open and I'm never in my own world, yet NTs sometimes are.

I only keep quiet around people in certain ages for some reason.

I tend to keep quiet around my peers because:

-I am afraid that I will say something that they don't agree with, and I find that teenagers, in general, tend to less accepting of differing opinions than adults.

-They aren't interested in the same things as I am

-I am afraid they won't like me

-Often, they don't even respond to me

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something." - Plato

I keep quiet simply because I have nothing to say. It has nothing to do with my level of comfort. I don't think in words, so it doesn't come naturally to speak.

I have slowly but steadily stopped talking to people because I realized I only talk about my own opinions, factoids, or give advice no one takes. So I figured why bother.

Now I just randomly twitter stupid stuff or rattle off random topics when my husband is with in ear shot. Getting old is many hard lessons learned, one of which is no one is actually listening to you.

1) I have been a man of few words ever since I was born. Not talking a whole lot just comes naturally to me.

2) As a result of 1, whenever I do say stuff, the only responses I get are "OMFG I can't believe that kid actually said something" or "So that's what he sounds like."

3) As a result of 2, why should I even bother saying anything if nobody listens to what I say?

4) All most people talk about are sex, drugs, beer, and occasionally sports if I'm lucky enough. I am not interested in any of that.

4) I often do not know what to say during a conversation because it takes time to translate my thoughts to English.

5) I'm in high school, where all you have to do is say or do one stupid thing and you're screwed until you graduate and realize none of that crap matters at all.

6) If I talked more, people would realize how weird I am. I do not want that.

There's a very subtle pause during which people are supposed to pick up that someone has finished talking and it's our turn to speak. For Aspies, that kind of interpersonal subtlety may be difficult or even impossible to tune into. I remember actually reading about this specific phenomenon in a book about AS. People with AS can't tell when it's our turn to speak, so our only option is to interrupt, which can be seen as rude or annoying. So, in groups, I find that I often don't say anything because I can't tell when it's my turn to speak.

I think that's another instance of a subtle communication that is lost on us. NTs know how to subtly get someone's attention before they start talking, so they expect us to be able to do the same. If we haven't gotten their attention and we just start talking, they won't be paying attention. Conversely, since we don't recognize or know those signals, we may be ready to listed at all times.

For myself, I rarely talk for the reasons above, and also because a) I never know what to say and b) when I was a kid I found out that so many of the things I might say are wrong (inadvertently insulting, off topic, random, etc.) that I learned to just keep my mouth shut. Now I wish I was better at talking and conversation, because it can be very awkward and uncomfortable to stand around with nothing to say.

i usually don't.....I'm an obnoxious loud mouth most of the time!