Asperger's syndrome self-diagnosis

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Dr. Cardiologist told me he never gives anyone the test I wanted because he never saw anyone my age get a positive on it. Well, maybe he never saw that because he never bothered to give anyone my age the test in the first place. Turns out I was right, and got a dramatic positive on it (enough to threaten my life, because he wasn't paying attention, because he was so sure I was wasting his time). He had a self-reinforcing false belief and was completely unaware of it.

When I had a neuropsych work-up done (at my request) it turned out essentially as I'd expected.

Thirteen doctors over 10 years didn't refer me to either of those tests. I had to make it my mission to figure it out for myself and use them as glorified lab techs to get the right 'certificates.' -- Because they weren't helping, and my ability to function (and pay them) was crumbling. If I hadn't figured it out for myself ("self-diagnosed") I might've ended up living in a box in an alley (while ill). If blind trust in authority figures has worked out well for anyone, I'd suggest you've been luckier than you know.

Things aren't always as complicated as 'rocket science,' and people aren't always overwhelmingly wrong about their introspections. I realized, in the end, that the standard skepticism about that has more to do with other people's egos than anything else.

Yes, it does. But it doesn't single anyone out either. Then, he is very careful to specify exactly who he's talking about that he doesn't consider bonafide and goes on to describe people who don't have Aspergers, and those who don't have symptoms severe enough to interfere with what he would consider a normal life. But, he's also careful NOT to say that borderline Aspies are not Aspies, but simple virtue of the fact that he calls them borderline Aspies.



Clearly, he isn't specifying. But who "these people" are, is beside the point. The point isn't about who claims to be Aspie but isn't really. The point is how people as he described make him feel when they say things like that. He's trying to get everyone to understand how HE feels. That's all.



Of course there are people like that out there. And he's not talking about family members and friends of AS. He's talking about self diagnosed people who don't really have AS at all. That's what he said, in so many words. Can you not imagine there are such people? I sure can.



It doesn't matter who. That isn't the point. Not to mention if he started mentioning names, especially if they are people here on the forum, he would be accusing individuals of being fakes, which would certainly have started a real fire, and is certainly NOT acceptable behavior here. But he has not done that, which, if he wants to share feelings like this, is a darned good way of doing it. Describing, but not naming anyone.

I do not see anything at all wrong with that, nor do I see that he gave anyone any reason to take his feelings personally. They are his feelings. He is entitled to them.


I think his post shows all the signs of going to careful lengths NOT to offend anyone. The only way I could have been offended by his post, is to have assumed he is talking about and directly to me. I chose not to be offended by it, because I do not fit the description he gave. If you don't fit the description either, there is no reason to be offended by it, because it isn't meant for you. If you don't know anyone like his description, and I presume you don't because you asked yourself if such people even exist, there is no reason to be offended on behalf of anyone you know either.

Is he talking about you? Is he talking about anyone you know? Do you or anyone you know fit the descriptions he gave?

If not, then should how he feels really bother you so much?

You yourself said, earlier in this thread that he isn't talking about most people here. And you were absolutely correct. Why then, take offense to something that isn't really accusing you or most users here of anything at all?

I really think that most of the negative replies here missed what his real point was, and assumed instead that he was calling self diagnosed people fakes. He wasn't.

Um, I didn't question if such people exist. I questioned whether they are *here*. I am sure they *exist*. People do all kinds of crazy crap. They fake seizures to get out of school or work, they fake pain to get narcotics, they probably do fake AS to get attention. or whatever. I have epilepsy and the fact that some ppl are out there faking seizures doesn't really bother me, and the fact that some ppl are desperate enough for attention to fake AS doesn't bother me either, and *certainly* not enough to come on here and insinuate that at least some of those people *here* who, for whatever reason, didn't go through the process of formal diagnosis aren't "bona fide".

~Kate

It does bother me when someone fakes a disorder, but not in the way the OP has expressed. There's most likely something else going on causing the attention seeking behavior.

My point was he doesn't know those people nor does he know if they struggled or not or if they got help to be where they are at now or if they just worked very hard to get that far. And how does he know they are only talking about the positive stuff and not leaving out any of the negative stuff such as what they go through at work or in their relationship, etc.

What I got out of his post was him making assumptions. If an aspie claims they can have a job, he assumes they must not have any difficulties in them. Or if an aspie claimed they are married, he assumes there are no problems in the marriage nor did they have problems in getting a partner.

Heck I can be on another forum and a user there can say he has AS and I can just assume he is unaffected by it just because I have never seen that person mention their issues or their struggles so he must be a fake then right?

I have heard of people faking disabilities so they can get in front of the line in amusement parks, I have heard of people faking learning disabilities so they get more time on their tests or get less school work by having it modified but the question I always ask is, how do they know people do it? Where does their claim come from? Was it an assumption they made about a person just because they didn't look disabled or they looked too normal to even look like they have a learning disability? Or did they know someone who claimed they did it or heard stories about people doing it?

I think it be pretty hard to fake a learning disability because to fake it, you have to have your parents tell your school about your struggles, you have to have the struggles in all your classes and all day long and everyday throughout the school year. Do kids really get their parents to lie to the school by saying they have a learning disability so so they get more time on their tests or have their work modified or not have any homework? I don't see what kind of parents would do that for their child. If a child did indeed start to fake a learning disability, the teacher would call the parents because they be concerned and the parents wouldn't even say their kid has difficulties. They would know their child is just being lazy. But I am sure people have gone to college and fake a learning disability just so they get work modifications or more time on their tests. They don't even need a parent or guardian to say they have it.

Yes, I insinuated it, assuming that by insinuate you mean "say something in a way that can be interpreted to suggest something not directly stated." The thing is, I don't have time to find a perfect wording for what I'm saying that does not have the possibility of being interpreted in a way I didn't intend.

You know, there is an AS community outside of Wrong Planet (Imagine that! ). Maybe the people I'm talking about are people I've met or heard about in places other than WP.

Last edited by LordoftheMonkeys on 12 Jul 2010, 10:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sadly, there are people that will claim that they need special assistance or they simply cannot perform a task because they are "special". The problem with society is that people view being handicapped as a gift or even being jealous of it. I don't really view autism as a gift, it's just who I am.

Interesting...I cut your stuff and I'm going to see what fits and what doesn't. I'm uncertain, in my own case, as to what's going on...I have the ADHD diagnosis (AND my diagnosis resulted in my father getting an adult diagnosis--the doc said that the instant he looked at my dad, he knew where I got it), and am aware that there is a subtype of ADHD that could be the total explanation, but there are other things that are either comorbids, or fit into an overarching picture. Whether or not this is the case, I will leave to a professional, especially because of some of the things I'm about to cite.


Pretty good social life: Not IRL. I have co-workers, and I get along with them OK, but they are not social friends. I have a Sunday school class I go to, but do not relate to them outside the classroom and though I faked it, I couldn't stand their out-of-church events. I have a writer's group I go to once a month, but I don't see them outside of that. I do have online friends. But IRL, I cannot point to any friend I have. (This was not as problematic in school--again, structured environment, but my friends were few and in certain schools, the bullying was REALLY bad.) +.5

No emotional issues: I have had depression and anxiety. However, I have not seen fit to seek medications for it, and handle it through prayer and meditation (I can, for instance, catch the physiological warning signs of a panic attack and interrupt it before it gets bad, or ride it out if one starts and keep it from getting worse). Stopping worrying though? That's harder. My parents say I am immature in some ways. It gets me mad whenever they say it...but in moments like this when I can be more objective, I have to admit there may be truth in that. (0--neutral)

Sensory problems: No serious impairments. However, the auditory processing issues are coming to a point where I at least want to be seen for that, if nothing else, before I make a critical mistake at work, because it's getting in the way when I take calls from co-workers, and when I have to be on a conference call. I THINK I've masked it so far, but I still want to be seen. I am also hypersensitive to touch, and will jump out of my skin if someone touches me without warning. I struggle like a trapped animal even if my parents hug me when I am not ready for it...I know this hurts their feelings, but I don't know how to explain just how much I DO NOT WANT it at that moment and that it has nothing to do with them. Oh, and I am a synesthete. (+1)

Organizational skills: At work I'm one thing--heavy overcompensation. At home? Organization? WHAT organization?! (+.5)

OCD: Never been diagnosed with this. Do have trichotillomania, though (getting better but not ALL the way there), and very much have obsessive interests and always have. I have learned how to at least regulate them to avoid public embarrassment, now that I'm an adult (and it took me until my 20s to learn this), but when Aspies talk about special interests and I say I relate, I am not talking out of my butt. I DO relate. (+1)

ADHD: Yes, DEFINITELY. Wonder what the diagnosis would've been had AS/PDD-NOS been in play when I was little, but I do think there's a lot of truth in it for me. Now, I will stop and say that this means that the obsessional subtype of ADHD could be an explanation for me, NOT necessarily PDD-NOS or AS. I recognize that. (However, I again refuse medication, so maybe this indicates my ADHD is not as bad as some people's...should I subtract a .5 for that, maybe? I'll leave it for now, but hey, full disclosure...) (+1)

Getting a job: While I had a rough go of it in my first job, my boss came to depend on me. In my NEW job, I feel very suited for it, aside from some small things. (-1)

Relationships: Depends on what you mean here. If you mean romantic...I had one boyfriend but only said "yes" because I thought I should, and I never loved him. In the end we agreed to break up. I have not dated since then. I think I would like to, but frankly I have no clue how I would find the sort of man I would actually be interested in. (Only idea that is coming to mind is sci-fi conventions, but I couldn't get into that kind of mode when I've gone to a con.) (Won't score this since I am not sure I understand what is meant.)


All I can say is: as usual, indeterminate results. And I have no problem stating that outright.

Other people on Wrong Planet may have just as much contact with the wider AS community as you have, and not see these "fakes" everywhere.

Though truly, you're right about hearing about them. To the point of friggin' sickness.

Exactly.

~Kate

Alright Ive been following this post for a couple of days now and wanted to put my 2 cents in.

For starters I have self diagnosed myself with quite a few times and all of them were right aka, GERD, Lactose intolerance, Borderline personality disorder (which isnt true anymore but was at the time I was told I dont have that) and there were others.

My point being is people self diagnose its not a bad thing and people know themselves better than anyone else well maybe their spouse knows them just as good but I mean if you know somethings wrong and see something you fit with then why not self diagnose and then talk about it with your doctor and your selfdiagnosis will probably be right or a step in the right direction so to speak.

I saw other people doing this so I figured I would too.


Pretty good social life: I dont have a social life. Nor do I want one. I am quite happy staying at home with my fiance then going out and hanging around with people I dont even know.

No emotional issues: I am an emotional rollercoaster. I have mini tantrums/meltdowns all the time at least once a day either I will be screaming my head off angry or crying my eyes out and at work its all I can do to stay happy.

Sensory problems: I have really bad sensory problems. I have the worst balance ever. I am always tripping over things, falling into doorways and walls, get scared climbing down stairs because Im afraid Im gonna miss one, My nose is extremely sensitive, I have very sensitive hearing. The list goes on.

Organizational skills: At work I am too a point, but at home lol it looks like a bomb went off in every room.

OCD: Never been diagnosed, never even thought about it actually. The only thing I get really obsessed about is keeping my routine the same.

ADHD: I was diagnosed a year ago and I am on ritalin for it. Even tho I know its more than ADHD.

Getting a job: I had a hard time, for my first job I had 2 interviews and actually had to go back into the store and ask about my application and then was hired and was there for 6 years. The second one where I am now was easier since I have experience and basically just switched companies all pharmacies are the same. Been at this one for 2 and cant wait to leave and start work as a dental assistant.

Establishing Relationships: Ive had a few. Romantically I had some trouble at first heck I was obsessed with a guy from 6th to 8th grade that ended badly but then it got easier I did have a ton of crushes but I just didnt know how to talk to guys and then once I got a boyfriend at 17 I didnt want to be single again since it was nice having someone around to talk to ,besides my friends. But as I got older I realized that relationships are more than just the physical stuff because back when I was younger thats all my relationships were. But I have been with the same guy for 4 years and surprisingly he has no intention of leaving.
Friends on the other hand have come and gone I only have 4 really good friends I can talk to and one uses me so its really only down to 3 but honestly I dont need a lot of friends never have I was always a loner it was easier that way. I dont like big crowds I hate parties and I was never invited to many anyway I was when I was younger but once I got into school that all changed. I got made fun of in school and no one really wanted to hang out with me they thought I was weird and I was but I was just being me and didnt care if they liked me or not but secretly I did want to be accepted.

So yes I did self diagnose myself with aspergers. I mean every quiz I have taken I have got a score of having it and once I get insurance I intend on finding out for sure. But for now no other diagnosis I got fits me besides aspergers.

I think you got my point then actually. The thing is, he didn't insinuate that "those people" were here either, although I do understand why some repliers inferred the insinuation. It's not that I don't understand how people could have taken it personally. I'm only questioning whether taking it personally actually addresses what his real point was.

Maybe he DOES know some people who fit the description he gave. How are we to know? Maybe he's met them here or on other forums or both. Maybe he has good reason to believe they are here or somewhere else. The point he was making wasn't about who he thinks are faking it, or who he thinks may be delusional in their belief they have AS. His point is how he feels about certain things that are said by those who do fit his description that frustrate him.

Some of your arguments have been that he should imagine what it's like to be in their shoes. My argument isn't against that at all. Sure, he should, but we should also try to see his point of view as well. That's what forums are all about. It looked to me as though many replying here missed his point, and as a result were not seeing his point of view, and as a further result were missing that he was not saying that all self DX'd people are fakes, but that certain things that are often said here, and I'm sure on other forums, make him angry and why.

It's about a feeling. Not about logic. Emotions are never totally logical. They just are. The post is not about who is "bona fide" and who isn't. It's not about analyzing that point.

If asking "Who are all these people?" he's talking about isn't about questioning the existence of them, then what is the question about? See, I inferred something from that question, that you are now telling me was incorrect. If that is so, and I was incorrect, then please correct me, and keep in mind that what happened with your question and my misinterpretation of it, could just as easily be the same thing that happened with the OP's post and all the replies based on inference.

If I can miss the point of a question you posed, isn't it just as possible that you may have missed the real point of the OP's post?

Also keep in mind that I'm not arguing that repliers points are wrong. They aren't wrong. But they aren't really arguing the real point of his post. They are arguments about things people have inferred from "between the lines" reading, and many ignore what's actually there in the writing itself.

This is how I read his post in simplest terms:

"When people who call themselves Aspies, but are not really Aspies, or have very mild AS, tell me, who has a very hard time with AS along with other things, to stop using my AS as an excuse for not living a certain way, it pisses me off. They have no idea what it's like to live my life."

I could also infer from that that HE feels judged.

That, in a nutshell is what I saw as the purpose of his post. That is the point that many replies here never addressed. How he feels! Instead, what many have focused on is how HE should be looking through THEIR eyes, and empathize with THEM. Well, why should he, when the repliers who insist he does it, aren't doing it themselves for him?

I guess MY point is that he doesn't know what kind of life anyone else has either, from posts on the Internet. I don't think *anyone* should be telling *anyone* to "stop using AS as an excuse" on the basis of what they say on the Internet. In fact, I don't think there's much of an excuse for ppl to say that at all, in most cases. I get more than a little sick of hearing that particular phrase used by someone in my own life. OTOH, I don't think anyone should be telling anyone else they have it "easy" on the basis of what they say on the Internet. I don't feel a need to "compare" my lot in life to anyone else's, or to tell others they have it better than I do so quit whining and trying to get attention. That's the way *I* read it. Everyone has their own issues to deal with, and their own tolerances for them. We're individuals, and what is tolerable to one person is hell on wheels to another (I always try to remember that most people tolerate tags in their clothing just fine while I am bugged beyond belief by them, even in my 40s), and there but for the grace of the flying spaghetti monster (forgive an incorrigible agnostic) go I.

BTW, I love your avatar...I am a huge fan of House.

~Kate

90% of 'aspies' who dwell in the teens section are like this.

About 70% and more of 'aspies' who dwell in the women and erotic section are like this.

About 50% of males aspies who dwell in the love section are actually just shy or socially inept guys.


Overall, maybe more than 50% of members here are not really autistics (or what what you call 'aspies').


You often see more real autistics in the politics/religion section, the tech section , the work section , the art section and the haven , but even those sections are invaded by fake self-diagnosed 'autistics' (what you call self-diagnosed aspies).


Btw, I believe that there's just autism disorder, 'Asperger' is a too abused term by many in order to describe some type of autism. That might be one of the main reasons why asperger is no longer a reliable diagnosis/label and hence will be totally removed from the DSM. Good riddance I say!



Some of the very obvious real autistic members in WP are:

Tim_tex
kingdom_of_rats
b9
Laconvivencia
CockneyRebel

there are more but they aren't that many....

Just wondering... who are you to classify who on WP is autistic and who is not?