Harder to be gay, or autist?

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CaptainTrips222
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11 Nov 2010, 9:20 pm

TiaMaria wrote:

Sitting around wondering who has it worse is ridiculous.

Then go do something productive.

Eggman
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11 Nov 2010, 9:26 pm

its hard to be happy?

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Smike
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11 Nov 2010, 9:51 pm

Talis wrote:

homosexuals don't have to walk around and be targeted for being different. The only ones who are targeted for abuse are really the ones who make themselves blatantly obvious in the wrong places.

That's a pretty big assumption to make. And not always true at all.

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where as being homosexual is an option.

Er... what?

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11 Nov 2010, 10:34 pm

Smike wrote:

Talis wrote:

homosexuals don't have to walk around and be targeted for being different. The only ones who are targeted for abuse are really the ones who make themselves blatantly obvious in the wrong places.

That's a pretty big assumption to make. And not always true at all.

Quote:

where as being homosexual is an option.

Er... what?

I don't know what Talis meant, but I'm thinking, though being homosexual is not an option, showing that part of one self to the world is something one can choose to do, or not. A person with autism can't choose to be in the closet, and can't choose not to show his autism in situations where it's irrelevant. Whereas a homosexual can choose to be in the closet (which I don't think is a good choice) or can choose not to show anything about their sexuality in some situations (pretty normal and ordinary, and just like heterosexuals, who don't always show their sexuality).

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TiaMaria
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11 Nov 2010, 10:42 pm

This thread just makes me wonder how the world became so soft. How did everyone end up weak, self-pitying & pathetic? You want to know who has it the hardest, go do volunteer work with children that are handicapped, mentally ret*d, paraplegic, missing limbs, born with fetal alcohol syndrome, or who've been abused.

Anyone who can sit there and say it's hard to have Aspergers or be gay should be ashamed of themselves. This thread makes me sick.

CaptainTrips222
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11 Nov 2010, 11:04 pm

TiaMaria wrote:

You know what makes me sick? Ignorant people like you, who assume you know what it's like to be in everyone's shoes. I've worked extensively in a group home, and their lives remind one how fortunate they can be, but don't come here and invalidate people you've never even met.

Scanner
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11 Nov 2010, 11:09 pm

TiaMaria wrote:

Really? I don't consider Asperger's itself to be hard to live with. I don't find gay being hard to live with. What I find challenging, not hard, is how I am treated by other people for my differences. That is a challenge. You should be ashamed of yourself for such ridiculous comments. If you're feeling sick take an antacid.

rmgh
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12 Nov 2010, 6:36 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:

Wallourdes wrote:

rmgh wrote:

I'm sorry if someone has already said this but, what is the point in this thread?

This is why v

CaptainTrips222 wrote:

DeadpanDan wrote:

I find this thread highly offensive.

One is who you find sexually attractive, the other is a severe developmental disability that affects several keys areas of cognitive functioning, which impacts on one's ability to function in society, and in some cases, survive without help.

I honestly don't care. Both are discriminated against, and I don't mind a speculative discussion about who has it worse. If that offends you, so be it.

Exactly.

I find it offensive that it is found offensive

They are as difficult as each other but for complete different reasons. Infact, it's impossible to compare.

TiaMaria
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12 Nov 2010, 8:36 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:

Yeah, well I bet people in a group home aren't the ones sitting on the net complaining about having AS.

I lived with a paraplegic person I helped to eat, reposition themselves, go to the bathroom, etc. and they never complained. Ever. Not even when they went online through their voice controlled laptop.

TiaMaria
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12 Nov 2010, 8:46 am

Scanner wrote:

Everyone alive is "different" in some way, and everyone is mistreated by others. Even straight NT's. That is part of life. The CHALLENGE is to stop wallowing in self-pity or thinking you somehow have it the "hardest." If your life is hard, it's because you've made it that way. It's easy for those who accept themselves.

Like I said earlier, I have AS & I'm bisexual & biracial. I grew up in a small hick town where I was harrassed not only for being socially awkward but also for my ethnicity & for liking girls. I did not even come out of the closet to everyone, but my best friend I confided in told the entire school. You'll never see me crying on the Internet about having it harder than anyone else though, because that's BS. Everyone was mistreated, teased, gossiped about, backstabbed.. Even the popular kids. So cut the violins. This topic is pathetic.

another_1
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12 Nov 2010, 11:18 am

TiaMaria wrote:

If your life is hard, it's because you've made it that way. It's easy for those who accept themselves.

Your assertion that self-acceptance makes things easier is inarguable. Your contention that the process of reaching that self-acceptance is easy is laughable. Your insistence that people who perceive challenges in their lives are merely self-pitying whiners is insulting.

My life did get easier once I accepted the fact that I am gay. Having been raised with a fundamentalist Christian belief system, however, I very narrowly avoided self destruction before reaching that acceptance. The fact that I overcame the challenge does not mean that it wasn't a challenge.

The challenges presented by AS, however, cannot be fully overcome just by accepting that one has them. Social dysfunction can severely impede career advancement. Executive function issues can prevent meaningful employment entirely. With hard work, one can minimize - maybe even eliminate - the problems caused by ASD symptoms - but acceptance that these issues exist is not enough by itself.

There are people who deal with much greater challenges than those presented by either homosexuality or having an ASD. I have seen no one here deny that fact. To pretend that this fact entirely negates those issues addressed in this thread, however, is utterly ridiculous.

TiaMaria
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12 Nov 2010, 11:26 am

OK, you let me know when you have an example of how someone debating how they have it harder than others has helped them to succeed in life. Get back to me when that happens. Until then, I'm gonna stand by my opinion that it's lame and worthless to even think about, let alone discuss.

another_1
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12 Nov 2010, 11:41 am

TiaMaria wrote:

OK, you let me know when you have an example of how someone debating how they have it harder than others has helped them to succeed in life. .

In school, they generally advise that when taking a test, you should attack the easiest problems first. Successfully addressing a simple problem can help build one's confidence and make the more difficult problems easier. The same is true in life itself. Reflecting on challenges which you have personally overcome already can help a person to move forward with other issues. Also, understanding which problems others have found the easiest to address can help one decide which to address first - and how to address them - in that person's life.

Mysty
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12 Nov 2010, 1:20 pm

TiaMaria wrote:

But, yet, here you are spending your time on this "lame" and "worthless" topic.

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Aspie Quiz: 110 Aspie, 103 Neurotypical.
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Scanner
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12 Nov 2010, 1:34 pm

TiaMaria is one of those peopel who think their life experiences are so important that they must apply to all people. Since it seems weakness and "wallowing" to her that just is how it is. TiaMaria is a troll.

CaptainTrips222
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12 Nov 2010, 1:39 pm

TiaMaria wrote:

Why didn't I see it sooner? You're a troll.

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