Why therapy won't work
29 Mar 2013, 6:03 pm
And people are fixating too much on the mood side of things.
My depression stems from feeling lonely due to repeated rejection...or much of it does.
Basically I live like a hermit, have no social contacts, never socialise with other human beings, and if I died tomorrow no one would notice until a strange smell started coming out of my bungalow.
I am lonely for romance and intimacy as well but am not a fan of causal sex.
I rarely go out as I have been housebound for many years due to the side effects of the medication I was on, side effects of weaning off them after 10 years, my stomach issues (dietary I suspect as they disappeared when I went paleo and come back when I go back to a gluten/processed foods based diet) and migraines.
I have only recently felt well enough to be able to stay sat up for more than 15 minutes and get out of bed (before that I could not stay upright due to constant dizziness and vertigo which has now gone).
It does not matter how much medication you give me or how much I change my diet, until I get some social contact in the real world with people I find interesting enough to spend time with I am going to continue feeling depressed.
I am lonely but no I am not going out to make social chit chat. I have done hours of that online and if I have to make much more chit chat I am going to freaking scream. I cannot stand any more 'she said, he said, they said, gossip gossip, what is the palaeolithic, how could she wear that dress with those shoes, what is an isotope, why don't you just eat salad, you wanna webcam, does batter from the chip shop really contain wheat....?' based conversations without going totally and utterly freakin' insane from the boredom in the process.
Perhaps someone could tell me where I can find someone to have a congenial conversation about matters of interest with..preferably someone with an IQ that is higher than what seems to be the average of 52 (even though science argues it is actually 100....did they do their maths wrong or something...I could get a more sense out of a baboon or my front room light bulb most days?).
Also if they already know what the palaeolithic and an isotope is that would help! I am getting tired of linking them to wikipedia.
And I am not referring to people on this board in my last few paragraphs/sentences there...I am talking about the general population, the one at large outside my door that keep trying to drive my last bit of sanity away with their endless meaningless clap trap.
Yes I am an intolerant soul at times but I am BORED. I want social contact but it is driving me nuts and I really can't keep standing there and just smiling and nodding at people indefinitely because they are rattling on and on and on and on about the biggest load of nonsense I have ever come across.....
Last edited by bumble on 29 Mar 2013, 6:17 pm, edited 5 times in total.
29 Mar 2013, 6:10 pm
My depression stems from feeling lonely due to repeated rejection...or much of it does.
Basically I live like a hermit, have no social contacts, never socialise with other human beings, and if I died tomorrow no one would notice until a strange smell started coming out of my bungalow.
I am lonely for romance and intimacy as well but am not a fan of causal sex.
I rarely go out as I have been housebound for many years due to the side effects of the medication I was on, side effects of weaning off them after 10 years, my stomach issues (dietary I suspect as they disappeared when I went paleo and come back when I go back to a gluten/processed foods based diet) and migraines.
I have only recently felt well enough to be able to stay sat up for more than 15 minutes and get out of bed (before that I could not stay upright due to constant dizziness and vertigo which has now gone).
It does not matter how much medication you give me or how much I change my diet, until I get some social contact in the real world with people I find interesting enough to spend time with I am going to continue feeling depressed.
I am lonely.
Have you considered joining any support groups? Mental health services often run support groups and there are also groups that you can join to help improve health services
http://www.wolvescityccg.nhs.uk/have-yo ... on-groups/
This is the PPG for my local area - you could see if there is one for where you live
also
Healthwatch which is taking over from LINK groups in April 2013
http://www.healthwatch.co.uk/
The mental health group I am a member of enables mental health service users to have an input into improving the service ie it has a practical focus, not just sitting around chatting.
If you find the website of your local Voluntary Sector Council the may have details of local groups and also the website for your mental health service trust
29 Mar 2013, 6:22 pm
29 Mar 2013, 6:32 pm
I am sorry if my last post is offensive, but I just cannot cope with any more mental illness type groups or behaviours.
I am tired of having to deal with paranoia, petty arguments over nothing, people who keep telling me how much they want to die.....
Please for the love of god I don't know what I can do for those types...sitting on msn telling me how they want to commit suicide is upsetting.
And I want to enjoy my life...its a wonderful gift, I cant identify with them, I can't...Im sorry.
29 Mar 2013, 6:42 pm
I can see I am not going to find people who understand here or anywhere else that I just want people to have interesting conversations with about things we find mutually interesting.
I try not to be offensive but I can't take anymore with the mental health thing, it is wearing me down, always being around the mentally ill. They bring me down with them and I can't have an enjoyable time with someone who hates being alive.
I feel sad because I feel lonely, i do not hate myself and I don't want to die I just want to enjoy my life and find congenial company to enjoy it with sometimes. That is all.
I am sorry if I was offensive towards the mentally ill, i try to be understanding where I can but being around them is dragging me down. It is worse than being alone every hour of every day.
I don't identify with their world, I may have the label of depression, but I dont identify with their brand of it. I am sorry. And I can't be around it all the time it is too exhausting for me to have to deal with their feelings all of the time, as much as I might want to be there for them.
I wont reply to this thread any longer if people are going to obsess because I feel a bit sad and a little lonely some days. This does not mean I can identify with a severely depressed person. Their depression is vastly different to mine.
My mood will improve as soon as something good happens or the situation changes, and I am away from the circumstances that are upsetting me or getting me down, I do not understand depression that lasts beyond that when things are good in your life. I do not understand that, I am sorry.
I cannot keep going to depression groups, they depress me. I don't identify with the people there, I have hardly anything in common with them, even my sadness is not the same as theirs. They have lost all hope in all areas of their life, I am just fed up and upset over a few areas of mine. I am also angry with my drs for wasting years of my life. But I still don't understand someone who would want to give up totally on being alive. Not and really mean it...how could anyone really want to die? What hope is there if you are dead? How can anything change if you are not here to change it?
They hate themselves so much and I don't understand why, I don't. I can't help them and it gets me down, I can't cope with their emotions all the time, and I can't cope with how much they seem to loathe the gift of life.
I just feel sad, just a bit sad that is all.
29 Mar 2013, 6:58 pm
The Patient Participation Groups and LINK/Healthwatch groups that I mentioned are not specifically for people with mental health problems - they are for anyone
Why not look for a reading group at your local library or do a college course or evening class in a subject you are interested in
or you could try voluntary work
http://www.do-it.org.uk/
29 Mar 2013, 6:59 pm
You come across as someone trudging with their head down through life, not wanting to see things any differently than what you've decided is how it is. Even if you are right, that this is how it is, that doesn't mean you have to let it drag you down.
It's good that you are addressing diet and other things, but they won't lift you out of depression.
I am giving you a virtual shake now!
Forget about stigma and labels, get an ASC assessment, and if you're not on meds it won't hurt to try something mild for 6 months to lift you back up to where you need to be.
Maybe I am happy with some of my choices...my gripe is with the actions of others, not my own.
I am not going to adopt societies way of thinking I am happier and more at peace when I do not.
Actually I feel sad sometimes...you do realise that feeling sad is not the same as clinical depression right? Nor is occasionally feeling lonely for a like minded soul rather than someone who wants to brain wash me into a way of thinking I do NOT wish to adopt.
Do you see the emotional manipulation you are using in your posts? Do you?
Using criticism to try and imply that my way of thinking is wrong because you don't agree with it personally! Trying to make me sound inferior to you or incorrect or ill because you don't like my way of thinking....
You are the very type of people I am complaining about....
And no your manipulation won't work neither is your's the type of help I am looking for and I WILL reject if this is the route you are going to take.
I have told you my decision you either accept it it or you don't but it stands.
What I want is to find are people who realise that the system needs to be changed....and it does need to be changed so that people get fair and equal treatment.
The type of ideas you are selling lead to discrimination and prejudice....
As for perception differing...yes it can.
Does everyone feel pain in exactly the same way as you?
Do you all perceive the colour blue as exactly the same?
Do you attach the same meaning to the colour blue or does the meaning you attach differ from that of another?
Does what you see as negative differ to what someone else sees as negative.
I am busy molding my belief system into what I want it to be, don't you dare ever tell me what to believe and don't you dare ever try to manipulate me into taking your advice by using such lines as: "You come across as someone trudging with their head down through life, not wanting to see things any differently than what you've decided is how it is".
I can and have changed my perceptions in the past as the result of talking with others, but only in areas where the evidence i was shown warranted it.
And defeatist is not the same as making a decision not to pursue something because you have decided it is not what you are looking for or being realistic when it comes to the odds of yourself being able to achieve a certain thing. There is nothing wrong with not being good at something, nothing at all. It is sometimes better to focus your energies on what you can and want to achieve/participate in/do instead.
Otherwise you are just wasting energy that could be better spent on something else.
I opted for working on my own problems one by one because the medical system is well and truly f**** up,.
There are solutions, solutions that do not stress me out or upset me and which I actually enjoy undertaking. The way the drs want me to do things DOES NOT WORK for me and in all the years I have been seeing them they have never yet changed their approach or come up with a method that does work.
No I do not see any emotional manipulation in my post at all. I am absolutely the straightest person you will get. I do not ever manipulate. That is how you are taking it. That is because of the attitude you have built up - which is what you need help with. I am sure I also recommended 5HTP and St John's Wort which are both natural, either on this thread or another one to you.
Neither have I criticised you. I have simply tried to get you to see a different perspective and very kindly and helpfully spent my time looking up information for you because I wanted to help you.
It appears you have decided you are past help, you know best and you are self-defeatist and going round in circles because you won't accept advice from others, yet you are happy to come online and complain at length despite what people do to try to help you solve your issues.
Like Goldfish, said, I can also be incredibly verbose, but virtually all your posts are TLDR and therefore perhaps you spoke of this mysterious 'decision' elsewhere and I missed it, however I do not know what decision you are referring to.
You are imbuing me with traits I do not possess and it appears, deliberately misreading my intentions.
Feel free to ignore my advice and that of others, but as you have taken this attitude, I will spend my energies elsewhere on the forum, helping my Aspie fellows where I can, instead of a person who does not have an ASC diagnosis, has no intention of seeking an assessment for it and therefore will never get the right support, and would be best on the Haven where they can wallow in self-pity instead of trying to be proactive and appreciative of peoples' well-meant advice.
Last reply I am going to respond to as I am getting stressed out with the fixation on depression, it is as bad as seeing my drs...they too are too obsessed with my feeling a little bit sad sometimes. So much so they won't address my other issues and this is a prime example of why I would not be able to get an ASD diagnosis even if an ASD is present.
NO ONE and I mean NO ONE can get past my little bit of sadness because I feel lonely some days and the fact that I had one suicide attempt during an impulsive moment in my teens because I was being badly bullied at school. I have NEVER had an attempt since in over 22 years! Why on earth they won't drop it I don't know.
AS long as people keep fixating on the depression the social issues will never be resolved, never!
But to reply to a comment you wrote about writing on a forum board...it is my way of venting my frustration in a perfectly harmless way and which allows me to express myself (I cannot talk about my feelings as well as I can write about them). In a therapists office I get flustered as they want me to reply too quickly. I also cannot always explain my feelings too them as I cannot find the right words and it seems I am also failing to find the right words here as well as people are misunderstanding all over the place again and I am getting angry and upset as a result. Therefore I won't come back here as I don't want to offend anyone and I can't deal with the frustration any other way other than to stay away from the cause of it before it overloads me and I spas out into a mega ranting fit.
So I have to withdraw now.
Sorry.
I just wanted to write about why I think therapy will not work for me...
This thread is a prime example of that, especially with the fixation on my little bit of mild depression. which is so minor is has far less impact on my life than my physical health and social issues do. But still that is all everyone is obsessed with over and over and over again.
Sorry I have to go...
29 Mar 2013, 8:36 pm
I can relate to wanting to share specific interests. I just don’t happen to share yours. nessa238’s suggestion of a college course sounds like it’s worth looking into. Or if you’re in a major city, they seem to have tons of groups that focus on obscure interests.
I have no control over my diet or anything right now, but if I ever get my life back I would at the very least go vegan. A paleo diet would be worth looking into.
That’s what this place is for. Venting and sharing experiences. And there’s no pretense that they’re some kind of authority know-it-alls that you must obey. You can take whatever seems to be good advice or leave it. You can ignore it when younger people give the pep talks that THEY need to hear at THEIR stage/level.
At least people around here usually read and attempt to understand. We can go on and on. (This thread alone has over a hundred posts.) The few times I’ve tried writing like this to a professional, they just skim, then dismiss. I haven’t tried it much, but doubt that any shrink will ever seriously read anything I’ve written. They want sound bites, and simple, superficial symptoms that they can treat with a pill. The only useful information I’ve ever gotten was in places like this.
How's this for a novel thought: Maybe we are nearly as disgusting to them as they are to us.
I know there's a lot of political issues that most people would rather eat their own children than acknowledge the obvious.
Maybe it's the reverse of my difficulty understanding the sociopath's motives and methods; the better I understand
some people, the more I am horrified that I have to share a planet with limited oxygen with such vile creatures.
Maybe such an understanding would cause them so much pain that they need to close their eyes.
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