High School male with AS stabs classmate.

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Speaking for myself, I have definitely considered violence to rid myself of the bullying. When I was about 14 I beat one kid up fairly painfully and got myself a couple of years of relative peace. It was like a whole new world for a while. Then someone started it up again and nearly drove me to, well I don't want to say where.

Someone contrived to do a particular thing to me, gathering the same boys together to do the same thing, and it ended with a boot to the gut every time. The adults who were supposed to take care of me pretended to never see it, they didn't ask me to describe what happened when I had breath to speak, they ruthlessly interrogated me about who did it while I could not breathe or think, and set it up so that I could not possibly tell them what they pretend to want to know so they could stop it. This was just about every morning for one school year. I'm still glad for the way that I got back at the kid who kept kicking me in the gut even after all the trouble that I got in. More than 100 times he had kicked me in the gut. He had at least four helpers. No one told me why they did it and I still don't know. I suspect that I know who put them up to it, but I can't prove it except by other behavior on their part that I have observed.

A lot of people would just say that the suicide was mentally ill. I would definitely want to rein in the bully, if not tie him to his bed by a chain. The bully is the one whose life should be at risk, not his victim.

There is one fact that just sets my teeth on edge. If a small group of students kept a list of bullies to "take care of", they would be accused of plotting a massacre even if they planned no acts of violence whatsoever. Suppose that this group simply amassed evidence, hopefully with photographs, and kept the names and addresses of bullies on file, with the purpose of turning the evidence over to law enforcement and the child protective services. I think that the school would accuse them of having a death list.

On the other hand, groups of jocks are free to target anyone they want.

I just want to remind people that we don't know anything about what led up to the stabbing; we don't know if either student was a bully, or was bullied. For all we know, it could have been a fight over a girl, or anything... The discussion about bullying is very interesting, but we don't want to crucify either kid until the facts are in.

That's true, but we don't know if that other kid was a constant bully. And for all we know, the AS kid could have been a bully too. We don't know anything about the situation.

i do agree that the best way to stop the situations where bullies are hurt by their victims would be to stop the bully situation altogether. I think some people misinterpreted what I meant to say. I just didn't think you should advocate the killing of bullies by aspies as a good thing. It's horribly tragic. The aspie's life may be ruined too. This type of thing will worry your conscience for the rest of your life.

I want to take away the immunity that bullies enjoy and make them feel vulnerable. Suppose the bully believed that when he started playing his games he might die and no one would penalize his killer or mourn for him? It would make him think twice, don't you think?

Remnant:
They rush to judgment that he's a murderer because he admitted to stabbing someone to death and was found covered in blood. Also- I don't need to get anything through my head. Please don't assume that I do. I have my opinion and am entitled to it. I understand bullying. I've lived with plenty of bullying, verbal and psychological abuse in my life, both in school and from my own family members. I wouldn't wish my teenage years on anyone. The fact that I've emerged from them relatively unscathed and am leading a happy and productive life is nothing short of a miracle. Not everyone I knew who lived a similar life was so lucky.

I understand your feelings about preventing bullying, but we can't just turn the whole thing 180 degrees and make school/work/life unsafe for the NTs.

Zeno: I have thought about it, and in a couple of cases, acted on it. I gave a kid a black eye in 6th grade who threatened me. I wrecked my hand on a kids face when I was 17 because he tried to push me around. As for thinking about more than just that- I've threatened to murder a family member. But I didn't do it. I couldn't really, despite the threats. Saying and doing are two very different things, especially when it comes to something like killing someone.

The fact remains; one kid murdered another. The reasons are still in doubt. Regardless, I don't think that bullying justifies murder. All one really owns in this world is their life. Taking that, to me, is the worst thing one can do, far, far worse than bullying. So I guess it comes down to a philosophical difference. I do think that words are only words. They can hurt, sometimes badly, but they can't kill me without my consent. Without this attitude, who knows where I'd be? Knives, on the other hand, can kill me regardless of what I think.

I think my problem with this thread has been the "he deserved it" posts, or the posts that make Ogdren out to be a hero. I don't agree, and I think that attitude makes this community look terrible. If this kid randomly lashed out at a student that was not a bully, (which is still a possibility) that makes him, and by association, the rest of us, look even worse.

My son is almost certainly AS, and has an appointment to begin the dx process soon. I live very, very close to this incident. Just a couple of towns away. People will remember this case here. My son starts school next year. You don't think this has me worried? On top of worrying about my son being bullied, about how school is going to be for him socially and academically, I now have to worry about people seeing him as a potential murderer.

No one deserves to die.

One time, three people bashed my head against a locker. HEY, I would be happy if they let ME get 9 guys together, and allow me to work with the others in groups of three to bash THEIR heads with great alacrity!

It would have to be on the condition that I really felt they put everything they had in it. If not, we would have to get three MORE people, and try AGAIN!

BTW I don't know if that hurt me in any way, etc... I was certainly a lot less happy with this stupid world!

ANOTHER time, a guy burned my upper arm. I guess it was my fault, because I could almost turn off my ability to feel pain, and wanted to make him think he couldn't hurt me, with the idea that he would stop. He DIDN'T! Now I told everyone ELSE that hot oil spilled down my arm. HEY, we could get some oil with a nice hot boiling point, and pour hot oil down HIS arm!

BTW the arm healed quickly and well, you'd never know that happened.

That IS just eye for an eye! I never knew why they hated me so. HECK, I didn't even talk much, never tattled, etc.... I guess you would be against THIS also, huh?

Steve

i don't condone it but would certainly understand it.

Out of curiosity, why was this your fault? Did you tell him you wanted him to pour hot oil on your arm? That's a horrible thing to do to someone.

The locker thing is bad too. Those kids should be put in jail.

Those who put other people at risk for death deserve to be put in the same risk themselves. This is fair. The bullies have immunities, even against being punched in the face.

I haven't been killed by a bulley, but I have sustained enough head injuries from them to suffer from memory loss and loss of coordination. I've almost been killed by one. Bullies are a genuine threat to one's existance, extinguishing theirs should be a legal act of self preservation.

You're entitled to your opinion, but society generally doesn't agree. Everybody loves a democracy until the vote goes against them.

Since when did society not consist of a bunch of sociopaths who like to bully people?

By saying it's not okay for one to defend themselves against bullies you are saying that what they do is okay.

I didn't say it was not okay for one to defend themselves against bullies anymore than you said it was okay for an armed man to attack an unarmed man with deadly force and call it self-defense. What I said is society generally doesn't share your opinion. (BTW, less than 25% of the population is sociopathic.)

I don't agree with "society" on this.

You know what's sickening? When people will label us as killers if we do back to the bullies what they do to us. How about they learn to label bullies as killers and put them through hell instead?