What would make this feel like the "right planet" for you?

Post Reply New Topic

My mother thinks I am too overweight to have a girlfriend and my father just thinks all I need to do is work more regardless if it brings a relationship into my life or not.

First, let's look at what your father says. If you are capable then you do need to be employed somewhere. And, you need to work on you first, again, if that is possible for you. Honestly, I think our society teaches ass backwards. This whole idea that one must have a girlfriend or boyfriend before working on oneself and improving oneself. My opinion, if you are capable then concentrate on your career, on your hobbies, etc. Anything other then getting a girlfriend.

Second, let's talk about what your mom says. I disagree with her that you're to overweight to have a girlfriend. How bad are you overweight exactly? Are you obese, morbidly obese, only slightly overweight?? Now, I'm overweight myself and the truth is it is not healthy in the slightest. Regardless of whether you're to overweight to have a girlfriend or not you need to lose weight. Maybe join a gym or walk around the block. Easier said then done and I should follow the same advice. I do try to walk around at least. Being overweight is unhealthy. The medical folks agree it is unhealthy. Right now, you're unhealthy. I'm unhealthy.

And there is another thing you need to understand. Let's say you do get a girlfriend. When you have sex with her you will need the stamina to do that. Having sex is a workout in of itself my friend.

And, finally, in a relationship with a woman you will be expected to make compromises especially ones that may impact your routine. Can you do this?

I don't experience the "wrong planet" phenomenon. I just simply have a disability.

The day I realised my parents didn't know diddley and I stopped listening to them is the day I started living.

Why waste energy trying to prove people wrong? Just do what the f*** you want.

FWIW, I never felt my career was ready to support a family, and have had zero luck in dating the women I have been particularly attracted to. However, I did interesting things and this attracted various women. I had a girlfriend about half the time. Unfortunately, they were usually seeing something that wasn't there, and we couldn't form a strong connection.
I recommend all the exercise you can manage, as well as a healthy diet. Having to walk ten miles should be an inconvenience at worst, not a crisis. The better you feel, the more attractive you are. If you prefer gaming to real life, you should probably start or find a recovery group. Entertainment should be a treat, never be a major use of time. Good luck.

Another perspective on the question:
I have seen the world population triple, yet people are still trying to be richer than our forebears as well. This intense activity is now quickly melting the glaciers that used to anchor our weather and make farming somewhat predictable. What would feel "right" now would be a total overhaul of the world economy to save the planet, and us.

Here is another thing that would make this feel like the right planet for me.

If someone tries to hold something against me and/or b*****s at me about something I did b/c of my aspergers then don't hold it against me. All I have to do is say I have aspergers and there is no harm, no foul and all is forgiven.

Here is another one.

Instead of trying to simply get me to look on the bright side why not be my Henry Higgins and show me and teach me things in a concrete way that I can do to improve my life including but not limited to becoming employed and rising through the ranks of the company? Are you willing to be my Henry Higgins?

https://www.britannica.com/topic/Henry-Higgins

If you're not, then all you're doing is giving me a pet rock and wasting my time.

Here is another one.

Can you presume competence as in presuming that I am both competent in determine what my abilities and inabilities are? If I tell you that I can't do it then presume I've already done it multiple times in multiple ways or I've done something similar. Or accept, that whatever you're asking me to do presumes a prerequisite ability that I know I don't have or was not able to get.

This seems to be the most alarming misconception that people have regarding atypicals, the fact that they presume that they have worked it all out and that if only you will make the effort you can do so much better. They cannot accept that your brain is wired differently and that you could be brilliant at complex things and hopeless at other seemingly simple things. Your neurology determines this, not willpower. Do I have that right?

yes, you do.

In my experience, people often underrate their abilities.

As for me, sometimes I overrate my abilities; sometimes I underrate my abilities.

The answer to this question is simple:

Being who I am, naturally, and still being able to comfortably navigate things socially.

NTs take this for granted. They have problems, sure. But it's not a continuous struggle for them. For me (for US) it clearly is. Isn't that the prime definition of Asperger's after all? (Spare me side stories of meltdowns, sensory overload, and executive functioning problems. That's all secondary chickensh*t, and we all know it!)

Agreed. But let's consider the specifics of what this means. In my opinion:

We need autistic-friendly social spaces in which, for example, we aren't necessarily expected to make eye contact. We need places where it is understood and accepted that different people have different kinds of body language and that you can't know what it means until you get to know the person.

We need places with a strong ethic of both (1) respect for individuality and (2) clear communication rather than reliance on subtle hints.

What specific characteristics do you think a social setting needs to have in order to allow you to be who you are yet comfortably navigate things socially?

The right planet for me right now would be a planet where I wake up, without a single city noise or bird flying.

All quiet, all stable, no movements, no external outputs.

When I decide I must move, the world moves along with me.

It would the best planet for me.

Also a mass genocide would be appreciated because I like to live in large areas without population and all the earth seems to be so crowdeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed

Perhaps mass suicide or migration to another planet would be more morally acceptable
Good luck with your exams and life in general