Nothing in this world hurts more than being called "cringe"

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^I think out of the three people, including me, who said anxiety is not necessarily a disorder, no one thinks that not wanting to have an anxiety disorder makes you self-hating. Just that the word anxiety and feeling anxiety isn't limited to people who have an anxiety disorder.

The way I see it, the word anxiety is over used.

Just like paranoia.

Or depressed.

People use the names of disorders in a way which is referring to simple things in life. Everyone gets nerves or sad or worried.

Then ppl think 'SAD is just having nerves they need a boot up the backside or told to get over it'.

I feel like the same thing is happening on a professional level with autism. We need to bring Asperger's back. My Asperger's isn't a problem to me. And it didn't lead to my anxiety - masking it & staying closeted & trying to be a whole different person did. If anything I lacked the usual 'nerves' around conversations before 'you need to be a certain kind of person or you will never be employed' got in the way.

Then bring 'quirky' back for ppl who are NT but quirky.

Way I see it my asperger's is very much a borderline case between HFA and quirky anyway.

I don't use depressed except in the context of actually having depression. I've seen people use it referring to a fleeting feeling or sadness but I've also seen plenty of people complain about the word being overused.
I can't say the same for anxiety. People might overuse the word 'anxiety' by exaggerating when they actually felt only mild worry. But just because it is part of the name of a psychological disorder doesn't mean people can't feel it unless they have said disorder. 'Panic disorder' is also the name of a disorder and psychologically healthy people can panic if they're in a life threatening situation or another extreme situation. Panic is only indicative of a disorder if the cause is too weak or there's no apparent reason at all.

Yes, many people who haven't experienced social anxiety disorder don't understand what it is or how severe it can get just like people who haven't suffered from depression often don't really understand depression and the same is true for other psychological disorders.

I'm actually glad my diagnosis says Aspergers Syndrome not just autism because it's a less broad term and - while I usually don't tell anyone anyway - I feel like there's less potential for confusion.
I can't tell if my Aspergers would have been a problem for me. I had selective mutism from as early as I can remember till around 19. Since I often was too anxious to be able to speak - my mind not being able to form words or not being able to find a connection between my brain and my vocal cords - I don't know how autism would have affected me socially. My executive functioning problems may be due to Aspergers, but anxiety and depression are contributing as well.

Thing is though, I was self hating.

It made me ill.

I hated myself for not being a perfect NT woman. Hireable, datable, marketable, feminine. What everyone wanted me to be, with no room for what I was myself.

I feel like self improvement should never come from that POV because it's harmful. When people call autism a disorder, I hope they are leaving room for themselves to be themselves in that. I don't really care what they call it but the way I had autism described to me was my entire personality/self and I refuse to hate that self/person anymore.

Now improving on things that autism makes hard? Such as getting glasses so my eyes don't hurt as much? Or learning a tool to communicate with NTs like: when you communicate with NTs, look them in the eyes, they like that? I think that's healthy self improvement.

But whether it's 'positive aspects of autism' (as I think it is) or it's a separate part of self: don't discard that which makes you you! There needs to be room in this world for quirky, playful, unusual, creative, focused people. It makes me sad that I tried to destroy those aspects of myself simply to be 'normal'.

I'm 9 years on from that breakdown now. I feel like if I manage my moods I might have diagnosed SAD but I don't have the symptoms. It's simply that a return to marketing myself as a product would probably bring on another breakdown and I'm lucky enough to be able to afford not to.

Me too.

I wish I felt less like a pedant because although I like being a pedant it's what holds me back on this stuff. I ID more as aspie.

And I'm sorry you had such extreme anxiety as a disorder

Not everyone with anxiety has an anxiety disorder if it's explained by another disorder or by trauma or by a abnormal situation you were/are in. Honestly I think anxiety disorder is just a symptom and anxiety disorder is just a doctor's way of saying 'I don't know why you have anxiety, there is no reason for it" so hence the diagnoses. I also think this diagnoses is given out for insurance purposes so the therapist or the drug company can bill your medical insurance.

I remember one user here saying her husband was also given a OCD diagnoses along with ASD for therapy purposes so their insurance can cover therapy using the OCD diagnoses. I don't know if that means so he doesn't have true OCD and that was just a fraudulent diagnoses fore the sake of insurance or does he have real OCD but it's explained by his autism?

Yes I would say the same for depressed and paranoid...those things are only a disorder if they cause significant impairment in your life. So, Anxiety being disorder is correct and a person without an anxiety disorder saying they feel anxious in a situation is also correct. Same with depression, though paranoid is more complicated since there is not a disorder called 'Paranoid' but there are some disorders related to it.

Paranoid is often a misused word. Paranoid actually stems from schizophrenia spectrum when you believe there is some sort of conspiracy.

Misinterpreting someone is not paranoia, misreading someone's intentions or not agreeing with their perspective is not them being paranoid just because you both don't agree. Worrying what others are thinking and feeling and thinking everyone is judging you is not paranoia, that is social anxiety. Worrying that you didn't check your stove is not paranoia.

I found this on dictionary.com:
'What does paranoid mean?

Paranoid is an adjective used to describe someone who has the mental disorder paranoia, which is characterized by delusions and feelings of extreme distrust, suspicion, and being targeted by others. Such thoughts and actions can also be described as paranoid.

Paranoid is also commonly used more generally to mean overly suspicious or irrationally distrustful of others. It’s important to understand that while paranoid is used generally outside of its psychiatric usage in a way that makes it seem less serious, being paranoid is a major symptom of disorders like paranoid schizophrenia and paranoid personality disorder.'

Based on that it does seem possible in general usage people may confuse feelings of social anxiety with paranoia, but there are some similarities since both involving concerns of other people reacting to you.

I have heard of Trump Derangement syndrome but at least no one was accusing us of being paranoid about Trump. But there has been Obama Derangement syndrome and Bush Derangement syndrome so they will mind as well called President derangement syndrome.

I don't think this is even real, just people being dismissive about others beliefs and concerns. I will mind as well call League Girl Derangement syndrome if anyone tries to read into what I wrote and not take me literal and tries to insist what my intentions are and pretend they can read my mind and assume I have ulterior motives. I always wonder what is it about them that lead them to these assumptions about me.

Doubt it in my case, I have never had anything apart from NHS. My grandma used BUPA when she was really ill but it was pretty obvious she needed a new heart - physical stuff's easy to diagnose in terms of knowing there's a problem.

I feel like the NHS wouldn't want to waste resources on people who weren't actually ill. More likely to try and squeeze resources away from those who kind of need it, kind of don't. Or to be forced to deny badly needed stuff Like with Grandma. She tried to go through NHS first, she desperately needed it, she would've died quicker if she hadn't gone private.

In the US cos you guys don't have an NHS, poor people are probably denied stuff they need just due to the cost of it. Again - forced to deny stuff

I worry about if American doctors over prescribe to the middle class and the wealthy, sure. And if British doctors on Harvey Street over diagnose the upper classes. But I think most of the time, under-diagnosis is more of a problem, on both sides of the pond: either saving tax payer money or because patients can't afford what they need.

I was most definitely ill. And I am most definitely managing an illness. Just like an alcoholic who can't 'just have a sip' or my dad who needs his meds or a footballer with a broken leg who can't go back to the game again.
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I'm middle class & my extended family has used BUPA once (cos we were trying to save grandma's life). The idea of paying for medical insurance within your own country is very American imo. So the factors are different because the NHS's customer isn't the patient, it's the general public: it's not trying to sell anything at point of delivery. I don't even pay for my medicine. So - why would the government want to give me free meds, free doctor advice, free money if they didn't see me as ill? Not even ill but 'so ill we have got to acknowledge it'.

Nobody who's middle class/working class (normal people then - anyone I ever met) uses anything other than NHS or BUPA in my experience. The other, better than BUPA private stuff? It's for really wealthy people. Like if the Queen was sick or something...

IMO it causes unnecessary confusion when a word is used in both ways.

And people feel like they can give advice over stuff in a flippant way. Because they think it's just nerves.

Maybe I hated myself when I was deeply ill. But on my meds? With a lifestyle change? And a change of way of thinking of myself? Moving to an entirely different environment? I'm pretty happy most of the time actually.

Still got social anxiety disorder, though. Still have to treat that.

In my experience, the term "anxiety" is used to be dismissive because you are ignoring the root factor of the anxiety. For example, let's say an autistic child has behavior issues in class, it would be dismissive to called it anxiety when the root factor behind the anxiety is sensory issues with the buzzing lights and the classroom being too chaotic.

My mom does this to me a lot so I have grown disdain over the A word and came to believe anxiety is only a symptom of a problem and anxiety disorder is only used as a way of saying "I don't know what is wrong with you and why you are having this issue when there is no reason behind it." Since you can take meds for anxiety, the doctor can simply give you that diagnoses since there is no medication for autism but if you have anxiety as well, you can have that diagnoses so your insurance will cover it. That just means you deal with your autism symptoms better because your anxiety is less. So it will seem like you have less autism under medication. My mom used to tell me "you will have more Asperger's if you forget to take your medication."

There is a thing in the US where doctors will happily hand out a diagnoses of anxiety or depression to make money for drug companies. For a joke I like to call Depression pills happy pills because I feel if your depression is caused by having an a**hole boss or an a**hole sibling and the doctor decides to drug you for it, happy pills.

I guess I could see it being kind of confusing and people certainly can be dismissive using the term anxiety. Like saying 'everyone gets anxious' to dismiss your legitimate anxiety disorder, I have experienced that myself.

Hey, now! Don't knock it till you try it. I first got on Effexor 75 XR in 2019, and it made a world of different in my life. I went from sitting in front my my computer for 6 hours, to accomplishing more before 9:00 AM than most people accomplish in an entire day (like the old US Army slogan), all in less than a week. And after 3 weeks on being on it, I went to a nightclub and made out (UK: snogged) with a very attractive woman there.

When I was a teenager, I would have sold my soul for a bottle of antidepressants! (Of course, if I successfully committed suicide like I wished to, the devil would get my soul anyway.) I told my therapist many times how badly I wanted them, although I called them "happiness pills". I wanted something to make me feel happy despite the misery I was going though: emotional abuse by my parents, having to watch my parents constantly fight, bullying in school, and lack of friends. She didn't refer me to a someone who can prescribe. Instead, she mocked me, gave me runaround, or trolled me each time I asked. I learned to stop asking her, giving her the illusion that I made progress. But instead, I found my own "happiness bills" in my parents' whiskey I drank and in their car paint (inhalants) I huffed.

I tried Effexor and it didn't help I would not totally knock anti-depressants for everyone since they do help some people quite a bit. But in my case I did not find them helpful in the least, if anything seemed they just ramped up my anxiety or maybe not anxiety but just feeling like out of balance and crazy.