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As my father wisely said, children should be seen and not heard. Especially after their bedtime.

I saw the topic and knew that it would be quickly overrun with animal enthusiasts and the guts of the topic would be lost - I've seen it happen so many times before.
For that reason I went in expecting a tussle and I took a more extreme approach than I normally would have.

If I've offended anyone here, I apologize.

ok i'm confused.....what is the OP about, and why does it start with this?

I think the movie Untraceable (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0880578) might have added fuel to the fire. In the movie, a 19-year-old hacker was committing murders and broadcasting them on the internet. He started by torturing and killing a cat (presumably to test the popularity of his website), then did the same thing to multiple human victims. In the OP's post, the child tortured a cat. I'm sure some people jumped to conclusions.

please, please reconsider this. presenting violence as a valid response to any situation is never an example to set for your child. you are inadvertently reinforcing the violent behavior, whether you realise it or not.....he may not be kicking your own dog anymore, but when he's upset about things and no one is around, he will find something (or someone) to take out the frustration on in a violent way. what you are doing is called negative reinforcement--he is learning to stop kicking your own dog to avoid being hurt himself, and not because he is learning about violence being wrong and not a valid solution for anything. you should instead be rewarding him for situations where he becomes upset or frustrated and DOESN'T get violent....then you should heap the praise on. but hitting him when he hits the dog??? oh please please please reconsider this approach, for your son's sake. perhaps ask a family counselor for some other options that involve positive reinforcement? he deserves the chance to learn in a way that does not include violence.

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo, you ve got to be careful with the word "abuse" and stop equaling phisical punishment with "abuse". At least your personal attacks on Bodhi are very disgraceful.

You might be interested to know that in the world of psychology the corporal punishment is a very disputable question. And some do believe that it may be helpful. Are you going to tell now that they are all child abusers?
Firstly it does links bad behaviour and disobedience with pain.
And secondly - some children just need it to be brought back to sences. Have not you ever seen emotionally unrestrained children, who will lie on the ground and cry in hysterics? A slap or a spank could bring the child into sences, but no... Parents are above it!! !
The fact is that there are 2 different things:
One is beating the child for the sake of HURTING him, mostly in outburst of anger - that is abuse.
Other thing is beating the child because it is a punishment, which he knows - he deserved and he knows exactly the reason for being beaten.

If she went to ANY OTHER forum she would have the same promlem. Except, may be she should have gone to some forum for parents and such or to some phsychological one?

...and old people's diapers need to be changed frequently, 'else they get cranky.

wtf is going on?? Nevermind, perhaps its better if I don't know...

WHat? It's ears were cutt off? Poor kitty! yes, definatly find it a better home.

Yikes. I just took a full read through this thread. Someone please call the ASPCA immediately!

I'm fully aware that it's negative reinforcement however it was a "different" approach which in this case seems to have paid off. I think he was punished this way twice (after repeated reminders of the procedure as soon as the dog was brought back on site). Since then, we'll mention it every now and then to keep it reasonably fresh, but he knows that justice is swift and he's avoided trouble.

Negative reinforcement has its place. For example; If you didn't get into trouble/jail for stealing things, then I'm sure that a lot more people would steal. They don't "not-steal" because they've got respect. I only have to leave something valueable out in plain sight (in a non-retalitory situation) to proove that.

At the same time as we're doing this negative thing, I'm teaching my children about the value of life. In fact, that lesson goes on and on. Why you can't kill spiders, sharks, ants, etc.. how everything is connected - ecosystems etc... and how other living things feel pain.

I only used those harsh examples because I knew the OP would be swamped by animal activists who would do as they (predictably) did.

There's no way I'd have ever accepted or even considered these sorts of approaches before I became a parent. Until you become one it's hard to understand how far children, particularly those on the spectrum, deviate from the "perfect" norms that you see on TV or in fleeting visits from relatives.

Just wait until he's an adult.
What will he be like?
I think you should have tried something a little less bizarre.

my child could be the most deviant human being i had ever known and i would still feel this is wrong. sorry, just how i feel. two wrongs don't make a right, and just because it may be 'effective' now in curbing the behavior still doesn't convince me otherwise. i do agree with teaching them about the importance of other living things and that they experience pain, though. i just think more teaching and talking, less kicking. call me crazy. most do. and you're not the first person to use the "you don't get it if you don't have kids yourself" argument. i have pets. and i was a kid myself. but i guess since i can't have kids my opinion is completely invalid???? all i asked was you reconsider. that was all. i'm sorry if that offended you. it wasn't meant to be offensive, it was meant to be plaintive. i won't bother you again on the subject.

I understand, I really do and it's not an everyday occurance. I'm sure that if half the people on the forums were as brutally honest as I am, we'd all find much to dislike about eachother.

Whenever a non-violent solution is possible I use it. I was simply pointing out that there are one or two instances where a small reprimand is a good thing. I was a kid too. I've had animals too. I didn't abuse my animals. They're SO different from kids. There's absolutely no comparison.

I hate to use the "your not a parent" arguement, I really do. I hated it when people used it at me before I had kids. You have no idea how much things change. It's not a change of mind... it's a fully fledged paradigm-shift. Nothing can prepare you for the change and I've seen the most stable perfect individuals reduced to gibbering wreaks within a couple of years of parenthood. Haven't you noticed just how many relationships break up when people have a two year old child?

In any case, I'm taking your ideas on board - as I take everyone's feedback here but it's IDEAS not ideals that help - it's practical advice.

Nobody wants to get rid of a faithful old friend - a pet you've had forever simply because one of your children has suddenly developed dangerous tendencies. The solution is NOT 'get rid of the pet". Like I said, you do that and they put the pet down. The pet dies, the child doesn't learn. Nothing is achieved.

I'm quite happy to listen to anyones ideas about how these situations can be resolved short of keeping the child and animal separated and remembering that these children generally don't respond well to removal of privileges (or reasoning) at these ages. Simply saying - your wrong or I don't agree is nice, but unhelpful. Practical advice and ideas is really what is needed.

Still they are both smaller than you and weaker than you. You should think about it. A child is about the size of a Labrador Retriever, sometimes smaller. Would you treat a Labrador that way?
Remember they are both smaller and defenseless.

As for advice, this is way too complicated for an internet forum considering that it's a family dynamic that's been in place I don't know how long and we would need a detailed summary of the past ten years of family life, what's been going on, ect. Cannot be solved in one thread but family counselors might have some answers.