Family problems...

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My family drive me nuts...i won't go into the particulars...it'd take too long!

Mine too. It's basically the same problems I have with all normal people, compounded by having to live with them and being compelled to display non-existent affection for them.

Half of my family is not close at all, by my own decision from past scars they caused. The other half of my family keeps bugging me with their "honest concern" that "you should at least try to keep in touch with your father." They don't realize that it's both my uncomfortableness around that household and my Aspergers tendancies that keep me so blithely distant from what they perceive as something vital to even functioning. Nobody ever tells me "you should at least try to keep in touch with Diane" or Nick or Spike, or any of my friends, though I don't see them for months at a time. But family is supposed to be different? I just don't get that.

...my dad and stepmom do make a lot of money...

Hee, I don't mooch off of people who expect me to pay them back in emotional baggage.

I do have problems getting along with my family sometimes. Mostly with my mom.

I've gotten a lot closer to my little brother as he's matured, though. He's six years old and has Asperger's as well. We aspies gotta stick together!

Being biologically related is clearly only one part of the equation, and not a necessary one at that. Some friends you make in life are closer to you than most family you're related to. To me, whoever you've come to know the closest in a positive relationship throughout your existence's journey -- THAT'S true family!

Yeah, good point, Torely.

My biggest problems are my parents who never have been able to understand, or have sympathy for why I am the way I am.

My mum utterly denies that there could be anything wrong with her firstborn. She says that I'm intelligent and strong and pretty and that there is no way I have any kind of issues with society. I'm far too smart for that. That is the reason I don't have a dx.

It's funny that she says stuff like that. All the things we fight about and all the things she dislikes about me are actually symptoms of autism or AS. She says I'm "self-centred" because I'm more interested in my own things than anyone else's. She says I'm arrogant because I talk down and lecture people. I'm not trying to lecture!! I'm trying to have a conversation!

I doubt that she'd ever accept that I am what I am, even with a dx. It took her 11 years to accept that my little brother had a severe learning disability related to writing. She just chalks up all my "problems" to being gifted. I hate that.

Taineyah, hey, my Mom says that too. She says that a lot. Or used to, before I let her know more about how I personally feel about terms like Asperger's (which sounds stigmatic but which I'm using as a placeholder until further neurodiversity research makes new information readily available). For the record, my Mom likes the term "Aspie" because it's "cuter" and I'm regarded to be arrogant as well. Ahhh... you made some points I can relate with, and you know, when I try to be "humble", then I come off as meek as a needy monk for alms. Hence how I see myself, as "humbly arrogant"

I got the "gifted" thang too. I'm a bona fide former child prodigy, so you can imagine how traumatized I am... MWA HA HA... "understanding" can't always be had, but at least someone who accepts you as who you are. Period.

For me though, it's working! It's been a couple or so years since I've let my Mom know about Asperger's, and we're making progress through this journey together. Like that cute poster of a cat grasping a branch for life, HANG IN THERE!! !

My family drives me insane (literally, off the walls!). My younger brother and sister are constantly blasting their music or screaming, both which send me into overload and I scream at them (which I cannot help). Neither one of them know I have AS though so they are not aware why I do this.

I wouldn't call my conversations with my parents problematic. Many topics we bring up in discussions tend to lead to me being accused of not knowing what I am talking about when I really do.

My father is a narcissist (he may have AS, for all I know, but for him it has mutated into something that is self centered to the point of pathology) and my mother is a bi-polar alcoholic and prescription drug addict - so, yeah, we don't get along very well . . .
What is really pathetic is that up until recently I had no other group of people to compare my family to and didn't think there was anything wrong with them . . .

No wonder I like animals better than people!

ok dont kill me for being NT; but as some may know I have a 4year old on the spectrum and I believe my husband is as well- anyway It is hard for our family-
We have a total of 5 children and all see to have some type of disability
Alexandra(14) gifted, anti social and depression comes and goes ; she fits some characteristics of AS but mot many...
Justin (12) bipolar and had many other dx's including autism;; but I do not see many of the symptoms in him for that dx..... just some.
Rayna(7) social anxiety and gifted...... has had tons of other problems due to her brothers aggression.
Nicco (4) HFA/AS well he has the most dificulties; When he was first dxed I did not think that he would talk,understand emotions, etc.... BUT he is doing great!! !! ! We started an intense ABA program and he is learning things that I never thought he would learn............
Kenzie(20 months) speech delay and other issues....

WOW!! !! !! !! !!
Mostly though my family is and will always be changed for Nicco....
my other kids have hard times understanding certain things; like when he is in meltdown or overload you can not talk to him ( they do it to try to be nice to him; so they get mad at me when I remind them not to talk)
other things his siblings have a hard time with:

him getting rewards for what they think is simple behavior, ex... he use to sleep downstairs on the couch but then wake up and roam the house(WHICH COULD BE DANGEROUS)- So, For the longest time when we got him to sleep in his bed we would get a reward in the morning...
having to leave places quickly- if Nicco goes into meltdown or overload and it last longer than 15 minutes; we leave- this means parties, dinner out, etc...
Nicco use to be very aggressive- he gave his 7 year old sister stitches, a broken arm, scars for him biting her, etc..... this gave her depression, and some other problems....
He has modified his behavior- I am so happpy!! !! !!
Now he hits himself when he is mad- but we are working on this

I think that in general my other kids just dont understand......
I have alot of patience but sometimes I cant understand either...... I can't always figure out the why's to his behavior and I have problem with it...

as a family we do not do alot of socializing- most of the kids don't want to and my husband says NO WAY;
well, there is much more I am sure...
we do not have a problem with each other- I think it is alot of other people that have the biggest problem understanding him-

yes, I will say it the NT

like when he is spitting in the supermarket, he use to verbal stim ( a**hole, stupid idiot, and other not so nice words) people would look at me , of course when he has a meltdown in public........

I have been looked at like I need to take charge, I have been told to crack his ass, amongst other things...
michele

my relationship with my mum is great,shes just the perfect mum.
shes creative and she gives me real support when i want to start something new and exciting.
i think her and i connect in a way that i will never connect to anyone else in the world, and she is very important to me.

i read a lot of spiritual books, and Illusions by Mabel Collins is amazing, theres a couple pages on new borns, and they say before a new child is born the soul of the person who is going to take place in the the babies body speaks with the mother and they talk about wether or not this baby and this invironment is best to live in.
(my mum always tells me she got visions of someone talking to her about me and whether or not it would be a good place)
and thats why, when a new born is brought into this world, even though the baby looks fat and unformed, the parents always seem to think it looks familiar, because the babies spirit has met with the mother.

oke bye

I use to have alot of problems with my parents. Not anymore now, I just dont talk to them.

Shellfd, do any of your family members on you or your husbands side have any autisim? If I have kids in the future I'll have to adopt cause the risks are just too great. My mother and I are high fuctioning and my sister is low fuctioning. I dont know my cousin on my moms side, but my mom tells me that hes autistic and my grandmother on my dads side has severe alzheimer's. She use to raise me when I was younger but whenever I see her now she doesnt even know who I am.