Do you have a sense of gender identity?

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I have always assumed tomboys received more acceptance, or at least in childhood where I assumed folks just let you alone assuming you would eventually outgrow it, than what was experienced by the equivalence in male children, that really has no acceptable term, other than sissy. I suppose this is another example of the grass is always greener principal. All my life, the majority of my bosom buddies have been tomboys. To me you have great value, as is.

My sex is obviously male, but as for my gender, well, that's a bit more complicated. I try not to think of it too much.

EDIT: Post 1717!

yes. i can sense who is a male and who is a female easily.

Please never worry about looking dumb in my eyes, just about all I have to give is my intelligence so I revel in chances to do so. I love explaining things, I love deriving meaning from things, I love making stuff up. I have a formal thought disorder that actually lends itself to speaking in metaphor more easily than not speaking in metaphor much of the time. There is no difference between you not being able to understand what I said and me having said something you are not able to understand. There is a lack of understanding that can be resolved, whether you should have been "smart enough to understand" or I should have been "smart enough to say it so that you would understand" are equally irrelevant, if you don't ask me to explain it so I know to explain it, there is no understanding and that is the only problem.

Rewriting the birds and the bees made me think how I would modernize the metaphors.

You see Timmy, when a Man and a Woman love each other, sometimes they demonstrate this love by Going To orbit Together. Safety and Technique are very important. Always remember to start each journey by going through the flight check prototcols together first. Modern men are expected to be willing to use Witty Verbalizers to ensure the proper adherence to all flight check protocols. Safety polymers must always be present covering the stabilizing shaft before entry into the orbital launch facilities, and special attention is to be paid to facilities c and g, which is where the Woman will be awaiting the arrival of the Big O to carry her into orbit.


In order: Intercourse, Foreplay, Cunnilingus, Condoms, Penis, Vagina, Clitoris, G spot, Orgasm. Witty verbalizers was a play on cunning linguists which is itself is a play on cunnilingus. Does anybody feel I missed any important parts?

Hey Crassus, since you seem to have knowledge in this area, do you know how the hell 'save a tree, eat a beaver' is supposed to be a sexual innuendo? I don't get it.

Only as far as it goes... hetero sex.
How terribly trite...

No, silly, your gender is male and your sex (or lack thereof) is your business... I don't wanna know about it.

Har har. 'Sex' in this context means the biological sex, and 'gender' means gender identity.

I have always felt very womanly. I have 3 sisters and a single mother. I watched my little pony, and read books and had daydreams about unicorns. However, when I got married, I felt terrible, because my sense of gender identity was challenged! I am not nurturing and attentive, I don't care what my nails look like, I didn't care what kind of plates we had at the wedding. My husband was more of a woman than I was! I was obsessed with that idea and couldn't let it go. I know that gender is a social construct, I know it doesn't mean much. But it really bothered me, and made me feel icky! Gender roles were just so ingrained into me I suppose. I am obsessed with the things that define me. One of them being Autism, hence the hours I spend on this site. Being a woman was part of how I defined myself and I felt like a failure as one.

Sorry for the sloppy grammar/incoherence in this post , I have been awake almost 24hours and am taking new meds for A.D.D, that have a soporific effect, but still have to much on my mind to actually sleep now

Beaver is slang for Vagina. So it is a joke about how Cunnilingus saves trees because you "ate the beaver so it couldn't eat a tree".

As to hetero sex being trite, I find my sexual relationships quite novel and interesting thank you very much, hetero or otherwise. The Birds and the Bees is about male and female relationships traditionally but you could actually interpret the metaphor for a flower on flower or bee on bee relationship as well. The metaphor you define is not the universal metaphor. Why it even has scalability, the basic principles apply to bee on flower on flower on bee relationships. The Witty Verbalizer metaphor doesn't only mean cunnilingus, I just didn't specifically mention fellatio, people seem to figure that one out on their own in my culture, so I was putting in the important metaphor of stuff people often don't know before their First Time that I have always found useful in my own relationships.

The true meaning of the Witty Verbalizer metaphor could actually be extended to other mouth related aspects, don't forget about kissing and licking and biting, don't get fixated on overtly sexualized organs, find ways to make your partner think of non-sexualized aspects of themselves as sexy. Talk to them. Tell them how their intelligence in fields they are intelligent in makes you attracted to them. Don't be afraid to say "Watching you twiddle your glasses as you browsed in the library really turned me on when we were studying today." Little things count.

I'm not even sure whether we are off topic or not? I tend to think of a lot of the cultural conditioning people receive that leads to unhealthy sexual relationships as related to manufactured gender identities, that tell people it is wrong to do things that are perfectly healthy things for two responsible consensual adults to do.

For example, supposedly girls and women don't talk about the things I'm talking about right now. And boys and men only make obscene references to it in order to prove how masculine they are for having a dominant sexual relationship. Which is a bunch of hooey. If you can't talk about what you do and don't like with your partner, is that really a partner or more of that person you do things to and who does things to you and sometimes the things are enjoyable? Too often people just kind of go through the motions and pretend they know what they are doing.

I think I know where you are coming from. It's like you almost get competitive and territorial about your gender identity as a woman, which is a very masculine thing to do.

My mother-in-law is from Puerto Rico, and she's supermom when it comes to the house work. Like she makes all three meals from scratch, mops the floor 3 times a day, opens the beer for the men and takes it to them... I mean she just works at a high energy rate all day long slaving for her family, and because she's been doing it all her life, she's incredibly productive. My mom, on the other hand, is domestically challenged. She can cook a mean meal, but she hates doing that sort of thing. Her husband (my father passed away years ago) does most of the housework. She's more of the career type with a Masters and 3 jobs (her full time, part time teaching college, and then part time choir director at a church). When I was growing up, there was much more emphasis on my academics and employment than what I do around the house. I knew how to do the chores, but it's different when it comes to the daily management of those chores. Either way, I suck at this housewife stuff. When my mother in law comes to visit, I just feel awful about myself. She criticizes so much but I really don't have a leg to stand on except that I've always had a hard time getting her son to help (and she gets on him too, last time more so him than me). In fact, last time she came in town, her biggest complaint of me was that I will give my daughter a chocolate milkshake before noon, and I would still give her chocolate milkshakes before noon if she actually drank them instead of launching them somewhere or playing with them. But to be honest, that woman doesn't have to criticize me for me to feel less of a woman standing next to her. While she may think her only role is the woman roles and I think I should be playing all the roles as a person as well as my husband, it doesn't change the fact that I suck at this domestic stuff and need to work on it.

Now, on the other hand, when it comes to the masculine roles, I'm more than set. I handle the finances, bills, and all the decisions in this house, and that one I'm better at because my father raised me to handle those things myself. So even though I'm a woman, I don't feel like I'm less of a man around my father-in-law. And he does criticize that my husband needs to "put his foot down" with me. Not just him, but all the men in my husband's family are like that. They often do turn it into a pissing contest and I win every time. My husband worries that I will come across disrespectful, but I'd rather be disrespectful than less of a man for not standing up for myself and for showing everyone that I'm in charge of this house, not my husband, not his father, not his cousin's husband, but me. LOL. I say my husband is more than welcome to take charge of his family, but deep down inside, i don't mind this part of the job and would be angry if he left me with all the crappy work like the housewife stuff. Ideally, I'd like to share all the roles, but it takes two to share.

Now on the subject of gender roles, this week I'll be getting pretty girly. We have a community event to attend this weekend, and I will probably run into people I went to high school with. Considering many of them referred to me as a "fat cow," I feel the need to take my pregnant size 5 tail and shove those curves into their face. Since presentation is everything, I should also cover those grays, pluck the brows, do the nails, and buy a new outfit for the deal Also, my kids have to look their best too, so they'll get new clothes as well. I need to decide if I want a new hair style while i'm at it. Oh yeah, I better find my makeup. It's been a while since I've needed it.