Are you supposed to be able to recognize this?

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When someone is being sarcastic or "kidding", it seems like there are several different approaches they can choose. One way is to laugh or smile when they are saying something- this is the easiest type of sarcasm for me to recognize. They also may use exaggerated intonation, which I can also recognize (and this is what I use myself when I am being sarcastic). But then some people don't give any clues that they are being sarcastic. They say something in a normal tone of voice. How are you supposed to know?

I used to not be able to recognize sarcasm at all, because whatever someone said, I just took at face value. Now, when someone is laughing or smiling, or using exaggerated intonation, I ask myself, "Did what they just say make sense?" If it does not make sense, like "I just *love* having to work late", then I assume they are being sarcastic. Of course, this does lead to some false positives- if someone smiles when they say something I may think they are being sarcastic when they aren't. But overall, it works well.

But what do you do when someone doesn't change their intonation or facial expression when they are sarcastic? Can NTs always recognize sarcasm? Is there just something I am not picking up on, or would NTs not recognize the sarcasm either? This has been happening a lot lately, where I assume someone is being straightforward and respond in kind, and then they say, "That was sarcasm," which is why I have been thinking about this.

I sometimes use this type of sarcasm. I think the only way you'd get it is to know me... and then you'd know I just said something I actually consider totally absurd or vacuous. I think it's a very insider kind of joke... only you and your friends are going to get it.



No, NTs don't always get this one either. It's a tricky one, and like I said you have to know the speaker well enough to know s/he just said something totally bogus. Good stock phrase, if you're not sure..."Are you serious?" said incredulously. Or maybe "You're having me on, right? Because I can't believe you'd seriously consider walking barefoot over those hot coals, I don't care how cute you think she is."

Ooops, I think I might have been being a little sarcastic.

I know what you're talking about. Some people don't use an exaggerated tone for sarcasm. Instead they'll use an excessively flat or "rambling" tone. It's called deadpan humor.

I have trouble detecting sarcasm when someone makes a deadpan joke in the middle of a serious discussion. I feel like I'm caught off guard. It also happens a lot with people I don't know well, especially passing acquaintances or random people I meet in public.

People I've been around a lot and know well are easier to detect. I'm not totally clear on "how" I decipher when they are sarcastic though. Sometimes context is the only way to pick it up. I can know when someone isn't being serious based on knowing their personality. If they say something that would be out of character if interpreted literally then it's probably sarcastic.

A lot of times, if someone jokes a lot, then I'll assume something is a joke if it doesn't quite make sense. That doesn't always work well, though.

There was an issue with a boss once, when I asked to be paid on my normal pay day, he said he didn't have it, and I knew he did, so I thought he was joking.. He was trying not to pay me right then, though, because there was someone there who was going to beg me for money. He told me that the next day. I'd had no clue.

I have similar issues. I can usually tell when someone is being sarcastic or just kidding because I can see it in their facial expressions and body language and hear it in the tone of their voice, but if it's not obvious I get confused. It can be tough in an environment where the social norm is to poke fun at the other person. Most of the time I do alright, but occassionally I miss something. One time a co-worker asked me if I could do something for her and I said I didn't know how (technical matter, not social). She said, "Well what good are you then?" with a serious expression. For a second I thought she was serious, and to this day I'm not entirely sure. It really made me question my self-worth.

I'm not sure I can be of help, except to suggest looking at the past history of the people in question. Are they usually sarcastic? Or are they usually serious? How is the current situation similar to, or different from, past situations where you knew their intent? How are they with other people? How do they respond?

Or maybe I'm being overly analytical. It wouldn't be the first time.

me an my aspie friend use sarcasm to constantly one up each other he likes confusing me and I like being a smart alec lol

strangely, I'm really good at deadpan humor and I've been told it's impossible to tell whether I'm joking or crazy.

also, sarcasm was hard for me for a long time. my mother used to laugh at me and tell me I was so gullible. it really hurt, but I guess she had fun. I still take things seriously that weren't meant to be, but at least people are generally nicer about it than my mother was.

I use sarcasm a lot just fine. I don't know when someone is using it or not, though, so I just don't say anything. So I'm always constantly confused but oh well it works.

I use sarcasm a lot, and people are usually baffled, they don't know if I'm being sarcastic or not - unless they've known me for a long time.