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MattShizzle
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18 Jun 2009, 5:18 pm

For anyone who wondered where I was - Friday night I took all my blood pressure pills (30-some) and about 10 Oxycontin my dad had left from when he had surgery - a suicide attempt. I posted about it on another site and they contacted the state police and my parents. Just got out of the hopital, got home and had dinner.



claire-333
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18 Jun 2009, 5:23 pm

I am sorry to hear you were in such a place. I am happy you are still with us, MattShizzle.



Last edited by claire-333 on 18 Jun 2009, 5:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Tom273
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18 Jun 2009, 5:24 pm

good to hear you are alive, i tried to kill myself too about a year ago but i survived just barely. I realise i have much to live for so i can't just die yet. I hope you feel better someday and don't have to kill yourself. :? you have my support



OregonBecky
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18 Jun 2009, 6:09 pm

I hope life gets better and you stick around and become a wise elder who knows what to say to others who are going through what you went through. Sorry you went through what you did.


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fiddlerpianist
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18 Jun 2009, 10:34 pm

I have never been in such a position, so I can't even imagine what that would be like. The thought of it is completely overwhelming.

I am so sorry that you were in such a position. I hope life gets better for you really soon. Everyone deserves to be happy.


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jennyishere
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18 Jun 2009, 10:48 pm

I'm so sorry, MattShizzle. I hope you're feeling a lot calmer now and that people have been taking good care of you. Will you be getting counseling and support to help make sure things don't get so bad again? Jenny



MattShizzle
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19 Jun 2009, 1:55 pm

Yeah, I'm going to something called the "Partial Hospitalization" program which is Mon-Fri from 9am to 2 pm. I also found out my Social Security disability got denied - they told me at the hospital they almost always deny the 1st cliam though so I'm appealing it. I won't have insurance so I have to go on Medical Assistance - for those from outside the US, the US is probably the worst place on the planet outside the 3rd world you can live if you don't have money/insurance and have any kind of medical condition (I'm also diabetic - that's life sustaining meds - and the opinion of the right-wing in this country is if I can't afford it I should just go die.)



millie
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19 Jun 2009, 2:47 pm

i have had suicide attempts MattShizzle and i can relate.
I hop eyou get through it and find some hope in life again.
I am glad you are still here.

I recently went back on medication because I was getting so badly depressed again - suicide was seeming feasible again.
I am coming out of it bit by bit.

Please know there are others around who go through similar experiences and phases.
Take heart and know people care...even if you struggle to feel it.

:salut: :flower: :cat: :alien: :jester: :compress: :farao: :flower:



Jellybean
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19 Jun 2009, 2:57 pm

I kinda understand what you're going through (no one can fully understand what another person is feeling) because I myself have only just come out of a psychiatric ward, 2 weeks after trying to down over 100 pills. After being in there and seeing these people who are suffering so badly with illnesses like bipolar disorder and Schizophrenia, I realised how lucky I really am. At least I can have a hope of living some kind of normal life, many of these people have spent their lives in and out of these institutions. I know life can suck sometimes (and that the US system of 'pay to get medical help also sucks) but there's always a way through. I found that out the tough way. I'm glad you're out now and I hope you're feeling better. :)


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SpongeBobRocksMao
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19 Jun 2009, 3:03 pm

I'm sorry to hear about that. :( I hope things improve more for you. But it's good that you're still alive and well. I've never been in a position like that, but it must be completely awful. :(


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MattShizzle
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19 Jun 2009, 3:12 pm

I've had like 4 others - 1 I went to the hospital for the others I wasn't caught. I did find out when you OD on Nyquil the next day 2 beers will kicked your butt. When you go to the ER after OD'ing or taking poison they make you drink this horrible liquid charcoal. It made me throw up.



jennyishere
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20 Jun 2009, 5:48 am

That sounds like a horrible experience, Mattshizzle. How are you today? Are you feeling less depressed?



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20 Jun 2009, 6:13 am

I'm so glad you're alive and still here MattShizzle. Life is hope and joy and good things and death is giving up and nothingness and despair. Never give in to nothingness and despair, there is always more than enough to live for - if it is simply the pure pleasure of eating food, and seeing the beautiful colours of the world around you, and hearing music.


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MattShizzle
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20 Jun 2009, 7:27 am

I do feel better today than then. I'm on a new antidepressant, too.



sunshower
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20 Jun 2009, 7:42 am

MattShizzle wrote:
I do feel better today than then. I'm on a new antidepressant, too.


That's good to hear. :D


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jennyishere
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20 Jun 2009, 8:00 am

I'm glad you're feeling better. Have you been getting plenty of support from family and friends, as well as getting new medication?