"The Asperger's Stare"

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From your Avatar, I guess your eyes seem a tad expressionless, but I can definitely feel a smile behind your face.

I was attempting to smile, but as usual I look kinda mad, or irritated. People often tell me that I look mad, even when I'm not. Here's the original sized picture http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf16892-0-3540.html

The one thing that I've noticed is that it doesn't seem to matter where on the spectrum someone is, the eyes seem to have a similar quality to them. My boys have the same odd gaze as I do, but we're on totally different areas on the spectrum.

I too have difficulty just throwing up a smile on command. If I am feeling a certain way the expression will be their, but I don't seem to have direct control of my expressions. Your poor husband has kind of a "deer in the headlights" look to him. I am guessing you are both introverts, though your husband might be a bit more outgoing than you. That is just a guess from that picture.

I get the deer in the headlights look when Im lost or when I am approached by a customer and dont know where a product is at the supermarket where I work or when Im tired or overwhelmed and am on "autopilot" while my mind is in my own little world as I work.

Yes.
People definitely pick up on something when they talk to me.
People have commented, politely, without really realising what they were seeing themselves.

There is a definite inadvertent stare in the eyes.
This probably produces reactions of fear or awe in other people.
Perhaps others are unsure about how to socially react to this expression?
Perhaps this produces a gut reaction?
So people are either intensely drawn or intensely repelled by it.
It has a powerful affect on others or can make the individual seem "invisible". Never in between.

I've only just realised this.
The reason why I didn't notice it before was because I was surrounded by people (some close friends and family) who had this "staring" look.

This is why I didn't think it was odd, I thought it was perfectly normal.
But when I look around, I realise that the majority of people don't have this look about them at all.

The people that do have this look, I've noticed, tend to be specialists and/or work in quiet environments with not a lot of people around.


As for this whole "crazy eyes" thing, I think there's something to it.

Perhaps the eyes appear "crazy" when the individual has to scan the physical environment?

I've seen people like this, but they weren't "crazy": they just took an active interest in the physical environment around them and took jobs that matched this interest.

Perhaps some ADHD people have this look when scanning the environment?

When you're scanning the physical environment, perhaps this comes at a cost of appearing socially engaged?

You can't pay full attention to both the physical environment and the person you're talking to at the same time.

Something "has to give"...


My eyes scan around a lot.
It's instinctive.
It takes a lot of conscious effort to try and stop this investigative behaviour.
My wandering eyes are part of who I am.
Perhaps it's a kind of temperament?

Some people I've known have gazes like this:

http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/story?id=3006889&page=1

I have a gaze like this.

Because I wasn't looking for it before, I didn't realise it even existed.

I can think of several instances in popular culture and cartoon shows where this type of gaze is portrayed, usually by a "techie" stereotype character. This "gaze" is often comically portrayed as a kind of "social obliviousness".

Perhaps that's what it looks like from the outside even if it's completely inadvertent?

(My new avatar is coincidental .)

When I was in Boy Scouts many years ago, I remember a line of scouts waiting to try to look in to my eyes without my glasses on. Each one in turn reacted with amazement after a few seconds and had to quit. I don't remember what they said, exactly. I would guess this was a result of the kid's game of trying to outlast the opponent's stare.

They're just jealous cos we're smart. If NT people don't like my beady eyes, they don't have to look at me!

I have a stare that make people uncomfortable. They get fidgety and nervous looking. So I try not to look at them and it seems to work.

People seem to be uncomfortable when they are talking to me. They don't like the way i look at them, i have tried to find out why this happens. But so far all the hypocrite NT's refuse to tell me what's going on. Maybe this is the reason.

Also for this and the lack of facial expression in my face, they always ask me if i understand what they tell me. No matter how many times i explain that although i appear to be distant, i get every single word they tell me. I got very angry because of this. I don't know what to do.

I`ve seen a lot of pictures of young boys with AS who have an "Asperger`s stare". The oldest boy I saw like that was my friend who was 14 or 15 at the time, and I saw his picture. He had deep-set eyes and was looking straight ahead. My father described him as intense-looking. My mother described that look as classic Asperger`s.

I know this stare well. There is a person I've known for years that I used to hang out with quite often. Outwardly I'd say he fits the criteria for asperger's syndrome pretty well, given his awkward gestures, way of running, use of eating utensils, blah blah blah, it goes on. Everyone I know thinks he's as dumb as a box of rocks, but I know better. He is just kind of slow, but not stupid, and sometimes appears to lack common sense.

No actual diagnosis that I've ever been told by anyone in his family, but this guy gives the stare like nobody I know. It's not a stare at you, it's a stare into space. That is how I've described it to others. When talking to him, he has been known quite frequently to just stare off into nothingness, and shortly after that he will interrupt you with his own topic, like he wasn't even listening to you to begin with. Kind of strange, especially since the previous topic was one he was interested in, and yet he stares into space and then interrupts with a new topic.

I've had my fair share of people misunderstanding what's going on in my head when I'm spacing out. They usually think I'm upset about something, or extremely bored.

Ha ha, I just noticed a Cannabis Helpline ad at the top of the page. Yes, I tend to stare into space, it's sometimes easier to deal with than what's happening on Earth.

Yup I do. Can't tell you how many times I've embarassed myself when I realise I "was out to lunch" and found myself staring. Sometimes it seems to happen more often when I am stressed in a social situation or upset and other times when I am tired and can't maintain the NT appearance.

I'm not sure.

People were reacting to me negatively long before I ever became "smart".

I now believe that it's an inadvertent expression that's misinterpreted as a "threat".

Perhaps other people do feel threatened if they cannot read another person's facial expression (especially if the expression doesn't seem to match what is being said or is blank).

Perhaps other people don't give a blank "stare" the "benefit of the doubt" if they can't socially interpret it. I believe that an "unreadable" expression could be reacted to with either fear or awe: that's a fight or flight "gut reaction".

That often translates to the other person as "fight" or lampoon/bully.

Sadly, I now can see the survival value this reaction would have for the other person. I say this even though I've been on the receiving end of such gut reactions.

Human beings are social animals and are variably social. Perhaps some of the more sociable ones have trouble interpreting the less social ones facial expressions and vice versa. I also speculate that how you react to someone depends on your own socialising history and facial expressions. That would make sense, to me anyway.

I also noticed that many so called "disorders" (hate this word) have a "lack of facial affect" mentioned as a common component. It does look like people want to categorise and effectively shun people with "blank" looking facial expressions. Perhaps, this is a societal version of the "gut reaction" or "fear"?

I just tell people I have astigmatism or I'm really tired. Or sometimes I just say "I only do that when I'm lying" (and then I tell them I have astigmatism or I'm really tired.) Usually I do it when I'm drinking, so I don't really need an excuse.