Reading other people, thinking vs feeling

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Tell me what you think.

Everyone I know with Aspergers (including myself) has a nasty habit of finishing other people's sentences for them. (Note: I tell myself that I have to let them finish their sentence because it's the same as them finishing their thought, and I wouldn't want them to get behind). In addition, most Aspies I know are really good at figuring out the next piece of a plot in a story (i.e. watching a movie and not only knowing who did it, but when they are going to show it, who hooks up with who, and any other attempt at a surprise in the plot).

Anyway, we can't seem to figure out what other people are feeling, yes. But, are we better than average at reading what they are thinking?

I'm thinking it's because we base our conclusions/assumptions from the actual words and actions...things that can be scientifically observed almost. I think NT's tend to base their assumptions on people based on whatever floats their boat for the moment, whether it be on what they are feeling or their definitions and rules of social behaviors.

I would almost love to see a study comparing Aspies to NT's on how often they are wrong at being able to read the other person or forecasting what is going to happen next.

I'm actually pretty good at reading other people. However, I'm terrible at reacting to these readings appropiately. I do sometimes pretend I misread if the reaction was especially bad.

Yes it wold be interesting, the main difference I think is in how we react to making the wrong judgement, NTs will easily shrug it off and try again whilst an asie might take a long time to get over it and use it as reason to avoid the situation in future.



I do that all the time, not sure if it's unconscious self preservation or if I just don't know how to react. The latter most likely.

I think I'm good at following logical thoughts - so in a movie/book/TV show, I usually "see things coming" that many NTs around me tend to miss. Fictional plots tend to follow much more logical progressions than real life. The more "realistic" the story, the less I am able to predict what will happen next (although, as I get older, I get better at seeing the "logic" of human nature - which is more about making predictions based on experience, rather than true logic.)

I don't so much finish other people's sentences, but I can usually see where their thought processes are leading & have to bite my tongue to keep from replying before they've finished talking. (Slow talkers drive me crazy.)

Where I'm generally clueless, is in determining people's intent. When people make a habit of saying one thing & doing something else, I very often get confused by their words/behavior. Politicians & sales people are two general groups that I frequently misunderstand.

But I am getting better - for instance, when I see a promotion offering a "free gift" - I stop & ask myself how it will ultimately benefit the "giver," because that is the intent of the offer (their benefit, not mine.) It took me many years to learn this lesson.

Yes, I do that all the time. It drives my wife crazy. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes not.


Stories and movies are exaggerated. Something isn't in a movie or a story by accident; it all has a reason. In movies, non-verbal communication is extremely exaggerated.

Even in the best stories, there is a certain amount of formula. Harry Potter, for instance, while a great series, followed standard conventions of literature. The fact that there was so much debate about Snape being good or evil frankly was laughable to me, because it was so incredibly obvious, given standard literature convention.

This doesn't apply to real life. There is a lot of extraneous information to sort through.


Hmm... I kinda doubt it.

same problem for me

Hmm. I'm the exact opposite of the OP.

I find real life easier to follow than movies. Movies always introduce way too many characters at once to the point where I can't keep anything straight. I'm also better at reading emotions than I am at deciphering calculated intentions. I can tell right away if someone is even slightly tense or nervous but I sometimes misinterpret the reason.

uyeah I tend to finish people's sentances I forgot to write that usually because they are boring me I don't do it if I am bored I have lost a friend from it I think well he never talks to me but oh well lol my good people I know know its my autism doing it not me mentally because I do it to even whn I tell myself its bad well from when I was 18 because thats when I realised it was bad

It's funny, I'm the opposite. I have met a lot of NTs who finish my sentences (and mostly they don't guess right). It annoys me, because they interrupt my track of thoughts, or what you call it.
Often I'll say, "now you're guessing, but just to get finished..." and say what I wanted to.
If I am getting overloaded, it is even worse.

I get this a lot - and you're exactly right, it's annoying because the incorrect guess derails my train of thought.

That's a good line - I'll have to try that! (And it would give me a chance to collect my thoughts to get back on track.)

Wow, when I read this, I completely knew exactly what you are describing. I have to bite my tongue all the time too, and find it very frustrating when people just keep talking. Why can't they just say what they are going to say quickly? I know exactly what they are going to say, sometimes as much as 15-30 seconds before they actually get there, and I find it very boring to talk to people because of this. I la ready know what they are thinking and trying to say. It drives my mother up the wall when I finish sentences so I keep trying to fix it, but it's so hard!

And I also find myself unsurprised when watching movies. I like books better because I can read at my own pace, which is very fast, and can usually get my mind into a mode where its absorbing rather than over-processing, because it is moving much faster. I like to read better than watch movies because sometimes books have interesting plot twists for me.

Maybe it is just because we function in data, and data is predictable, rather than emotions, which are not. So when we are speaking with people, we process their data very fast and know what is happening (and we have more time to do so because people speak far slower than our processors).

I've had people do this, too, or try to rush me to finish -- I apparently ramble when I'm trying to explain something. It is annoying and usually scatters my thoughts for me.

Regards,

Patricia

Our systematic and analytical capacities and thinking can be applied to the realm of human behaviour. We can actually work people out quite well if we harness this ability and apply it to the aforementioned endeavour.

It still doesn't address the issue of "appropriate response."

It is the reason some women in 12 step programs ring millie for an "analysis paralysis session."

Hmmm, I don't seem to do this, except with people who I am very familiar with (and even then, I still can't often predict what's coming). I think it's partly because I just don't care how others are thinking and feeling. I just want to get through the day and go home.

I can predict books if they follow a formula, but not films - films happen too quickly.

Me too! Very, very annoying. I usually get flustered and refuse to finish what i'm saying unless they promise not to interrupt again (i do HAVE to finish what i was saying though)

I am usually really good at predicting movies though, i HATE the predictable ones, but i enjoy the ones i can't predict. I have to talk about the movies and things that happen etc. as i watch them though which makes me awful to watch with.

I don't know if it's related or not either but i've always had this natural way of understanding the psychology behind things, perhaps that's the logical part of me, i love to understand things on a psychological level and it means a lot of people talk to me about their problems and get my advice, i counseled my mum through a relationship breakup and resulting depression when i was 15. I don't understand psychological disorders so much as the psychology behind every day things we do and think and feel. I'm not sure exactly what it is or how to explain it or even if it relates to this topic...

This summarizes it well, however I have something that contributes to the theory: patterns.

We are supposedly good at reading patterns, whether we may notice consciously or not is not the question. If our brain picks up and encodes patterned information, then we have a larger database draw from (because memories are stored and recalled based off of relational information, I.E. sense of smell bringing back forgotten memories). This sort of thing can trigger ideas quickly, leading to predictions due to familiarity of the context.

I've had pretty wild predictions myself. I don't tend to put too much thought into movies and shows (I prefer to let them do the talking), but often enough I can guess the basic stereotypes used in movies. Overall though, I tend to have a large feeling of recognition of many many situations. It's as if I see patterns all the time, but I can't actively grab the thoughts and analyze them. They put ideas in my head though: typical results. I find that the expectations are generally accurate, but not always (depends on situation).

I've been a regular user of the internet for more than 12 years now, and have had exposure to a larger variety of people more than twice my age because of it (although missing details like age, gender, ethnicity, things you basically learn in person more readily). I mean, I logged activity for about 5 months on an online game (a program logged it for me), and I had exposure to more than 3000 different aliases over that time.

When I see a person online, my brain automatically makes assumptions on them based off of their alias (somewhat reliable, although nothing to rely on). Everything after that is based on how they act, and things they type. I don't actively draw on these "patterned thoughts". It just happens, and they are quite frequently correct. For example, one pattern I pinpointed was that most people (where I typically go online) with "humor" related aliases tend to be complete tight ass jerk offs. It's as if their alias says, "I'm funny and fun to be around", when they're actually complete jerks. Another pattern is online arguments: if you're winning the argument, your opponent usually says, "I have a life", or claims to have a "girlfriend" while you don't. They start trying to beat you in another way instead of the real topic. One of the most annoying patterns though are two inept individuals who both call each other "good" after having squared off in a match.

In short, I agree on systematizing thoughts and analysis, but perhaps what we gain from learned patterns (learned does NOT mean acknowledged) highly contributes to the process of prediction.