How am i supposed to deal with the death of my dad?

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Justin6378
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24 Jul 2009, 7:37 am

He died of lung cancer on april the first of all days.
I'm so confused and don't know what to do.
Please help me :cry:


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Feyhera
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24 Jul 2009, 8:07 am

I am so very sorry you lost your Dad. I can only give you an NTs perspective, but I hope I can help just a little.

Grieving is a process. It can't be rushed nor can it be broken down into a list of things that you can do to feel better. You probably won't feel better for a long time, and for that, my heart goes out to you. Being around the ones you love may help. Alone time may be not such a good idea right now, if you can help it. It may be your normal way to cope, but, shutting down and/or avoidance may just put off your grieving. If you can, try to reach out to others who are grieving too. They will be able to support you during this terrible time. And try not to feel bad if you don't seem to be grieving in a "socially accepted way". There is no one socially acceptable way to grieve and everybody grieves differently -- aspies and NTs. Just do what comes naturally, and if you feel like you're not coping well, reach out and get some love from your family and friends.

Be well, and again, sorry for your loss :cry:
Feyhera


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Odin
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25 Jul 2009, 12:17 am

I'm so sorry. I lost my stepdad just this spring from pancreatitis, so I know exactly how you are feeling. :cry:


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bhetti
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25 Jul 2009, 3:01 am

I lost my dad a year and a half ago to cancer. he was always my "partner in crime", the guy who understood me and always supported me when no one else in the family could. his passing left a hole in my life and my family on his side fragmented, which hurts but it is what it is.

I grieved losing my grandma for many years, and 25 years later I still miss her. I miss my dad. people like them are irreplaceable.

I just let myself cry when I needed to, and wrote about what he was to me and my memories of him. it was rough but I made it through by thinking about how he was true to his own (very) odd self to the end. I cherish the good memories like treasures and they're what comfort me when I get sad that he's not here. I know if there is such a thing as spirit, he'll always be with me. remembering him helps me accept myself for who I am.

I'm sorry you're going through this.