Extreme literalness

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I have extreme literalness :/

If I was in a conversation and someone said something like "I'm going to move house"
My mind would give me images of this person pushing a house :/

I cant really understand people that well anymore :/
without misinterpreting their words

But it can be quite humorous at times
But I know it annoys people

But I really can't not think that way
And I'm tired of having to not say what I'm actually thinking, and make up lies so I can talk to someone :/

I have also never meet anyone who shares this :/ (or maybe they were hiding it)

WHERE ARE THE LITERAL PEOPLE???

I was extremely literal as a child, up to maybe 8 or 10, making it very hard to follow ordinary conversation. Over the years, I deliberately learned to translate and replace strings of words in place, much as I would learn foreign words. Even so, I still miss an expression here and there, and this in-place translation causes an additional pause in my already delayed processing of speech.

Oh yes. I interpret everything literally and always have. My first recollection of my literalness was when I was about 5 years old. My father was a very organized person and wanted all of us to be the same way, which I am grateful for. But on this particular occasion the scissors were missing, not in their designated place, and my father needed them and sent us all looking for them. I finally found them under the bed with my paper dolls. When I returned them to my father he gave me a long lecture on how we must always put things back where we found them. After the lecture he said to me "Now, where are you going to put the scissors?" Of course, I thought about this for a minute, and then replied "Under the bed." My father cracked up laughing. I was hoping he would react that way, I knew I was making a joke based on the literal interpretation of my father's lecture and question.

I know I do too, but can't think of any examples off the top of my head.

Lol, did nobody ever read Amelia Bedelia?

I can't think of anything short of that as being "extreme literalness."
I frequently carry metaphors too far, I think.

Hah! I didn't get those for a long time. I remember in one of the stories she was asked to "draw the drapes" so she got her pencil and paper out and literally started drawing the drapes. I didn't get what else she would have been doing.

I'm not that way much anymore. Occasionally I'll focus in on a literal meaning of something (or focus on a minute detail) but I have a much more general understanding of the broader picture. I'm pretty mildly affected, though.

Bending an ear, or is it lending? topic

Many metaphoric expressions are interpreted literally by those of the Spectrum. for many who are very visual, jumping from the frying pan into the fire can be very horrific.

Combine literality with CAPD and you have comprehension nightmare at worst, or LMAO humour at best.

Yes, I used to be extremely literal, drove my parents crazy. Lost me my friends at school, too, but I never understood why until I was old enough to think through it. Now it's more "hey, wouldn't that be funny if you really meant that literally? It would be like [proceeds to act out the action]!" I need to learn to stop that too, apparently it gets annoying

I am very literal, and get very confused by metaphors. They never make sense!

I often take things I hear literally. Usually I can interpret what a person means and respond accordingly, but if it's an expression I haven't heard before I will sometimes come out with something that makes me look a bit silly.

A couple of examples that spring to mind are when I was working overtime one evening someone asked if I was 'burning the midnight oil' and I responded that it was only 6:30.

Also when someone was showing me a video on their phone they told me, "This is magic, you'll love this!" I watched it and told him it wasn't a magic trick, but a man falling in a ditch. Apparently "magic" can also mean entertaining/funny.

Quoting Sartesue:

I grew up in a sarcastic household and so I have a pretty good grasp of sarcasm and humor. My therapist seems to assume otherwise because she has a tendency to explain her jokes if I don't laugh (I understood, just didn't find it funny! . )

However, when reading I have initial difficulty not taking things literally, makes reading go slowly for me because I re-read sentences to make sure I didn't miss some implied meaning.

Years of reading and memorizing dictionaries in several languages clued me into the non-literal use of language. But I still can't tell when people are being literal or figurative, and the people I talk with regularly have to stop me and say "I was kidding" or "I was being sarcastic". I've had over 40 years of practice, too.

The humor I most appreciate involves wordplay and satire, or just simple visual humor. That works best.

yes, I am very literal, I tell my mom everything that I am doing, is that part of AS also?

I get a lot of lectures from my mom on not being so literal and from my dad about not telling him what I misheard.
Personally, I enjoy the pictures my mind creates for certain metaphors; they're generally quite amusing, though I get fewer of them as my repertoire of metaphors expands

I generally don't have a problem with things like metaphors, sarcasm, or humor. However, there have been times when I couldn't tell whether or not the person talking to me was serious or joking. I remember a co-worker telling me I was an idiot. My first thought was that he was joking because it fit the context of what we were talking about, but when I looked at his facial expression, his body language/posture, and listened to the tone of his voice, I couldn't clearly determine if he was joking or not. That left me a little unsettled.