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EL60
Snowy Owl
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29 Jul 2009, 1:34 am

g'day all

when you go and buy something eg at a milk bar or anywhere does anyone get shy if the person serving you at the counter. i really get shy with a lot of people i dont know does anyone have the same problem like i do ? its so hard to look people in the eyes :cry: :cry:

if so share your expereince



pensieve
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29 Jul 2009, 1:43 am

I used to but not anymore. I had people do those things for me so when I started to buy things myself I would be really shy, but eventually I got used to it.
It actually didn't take very long to get over, and the more people I met the better I got at it.


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DaWalker
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29 Jul 2009, 1:55 am

Well…now that you mention it, I realize that I have never given it any thought. Shy, of coarse, very actually. However, this store clerk thing has me thinking (readers beware).

I am not that shy going up to a store clerk, awkward perhaps, different topic, I think it might be because I want there attention so that I can get what I want and get out of there. The other thing that crossed my mind (ouch), is the fact that I feel like They are the ones in fishbowl, not me.



buryuntime
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29 Jul 2009, 2:15 am

i'm described as extremely shy. I don't know the difference between appearing shy and severe anxiety though.



Iblis
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29 Jul 2009, 2:19 am

I am either shy and friendly or ice cold and almost rude even.
I mus admit being rude us much more fun... :?



DaWalker
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29 Jul 2009, 2:26 am

^ and they said aspies weren't outgoing...huh :lol:


In my case, if I am being "shy", then I am being defensive towards others

However, during anxiety, I am on the offensive, within myself

Freudian freaks feast

have at it

:lol:



Danielismyname
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29 Jul 2009, 3:21 am

No.



daydreamer84
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29 Jul 2009, 3:23 am

I get........akward....not shy exactly...but akward when buying something in a store. I don't have a problem looking people in the eye, but I tend to be overly polite and thank people ten thousand times (this could be because I am Canadian)...and just generally do not know quite what to say...or feel quite comfortable. I often FEEL akward in that kind of situation. It sucks.



hostilebanana
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29 Jul 2009, 3:36 am

I am not Canadian, but I do the thank you hundreds of times to new people. I have even had rude people respond and say 'you sound like a broken record' or 'you already said that'. :/

Oh right and on topic: no I am not shy or agoraphobic/sociophobic.



DaWalker
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29 Jul 2009, 3:41 am

^you can say that again :lol:



Stew54
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29 Jul 2009, 4:32 am

Hah, shy is how I was described from a child, and how I thought of myself too, until I first came across information about AS and decided that's generally a better explanation of what I'm like (for me anyway). To be fair, shyness was a reasonable assumption decades ago when faced with someone who seems withdrawn and doesn't interact with people much. It's also a common enough assumption when someone doesn't make much eye contact (and better than the alternative assumption that they must be up to no good). These days I like to think that teachers would have spotted that I couldn't socialise with peers rather than that I didn't want to.

I think a lot of people who know me would say that I'm shy, people at work for instance. And it's true that because I feel awkward when I'm talking to people I am quite reserved*. I've also had people at work and at church tell me that they think of me as a good listener. I'm afraid that the reality is that because I'm slow at processing what they're saying they've pressed on with their story before I've appreciated there was a gap where I could/should have responded with something, but by chance that sometimes turns out to have been a thoughtful thing to do, giving them time to pour their heart out. :oops:

* sudden outbursts of monologued geekery excepted of course!



SpongeBobRocksMao
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29 Jul 2009, 5:47 am

Yeah, I can get very shy. In fact something happened just last Thursday. Me and my dad were in London for a day, and we had coupons for McDonald's. He told me to go to McDonald's and use the coupons while he went to a Sainsbury's store to get something (we had to do them at the same time so we wouldn't miss the train back home.) I was really nervous about going to the counter and being served. I tried to go, and my dad tried to convice me.... but I just couldn't. So my dad had to go to McDonald's and do it instead.


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Aspienoid
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29 Jul 2009, 9:05 am

I am very shy. I don't really know how to explain why I have such trouble talking and interacting with anyone outside of my family. Just last night I was at my music teacher's home for a lesson and I can barely get a few words out even though I love being there and I really like and trust her. I've known her for months. I can't see why it's so difficult. I usually like/trust my teachers and other adults I am in contact with often (church, school, etc) but I just can't talk well.

Do you have any tips for those of us with this problem (please, tell me there are others who feel this way :cry: )

:wall: It's so frustrating.

By the way, I am not sure if I have AS or not. But it would explain quite a lot.


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29 Jul 2009, 11:18 am

I've gotten told that I'm shy a lot since I was very young. I know I have a lot of anxious feelings when I am in a new situation. Like Stew54, I might process what people are saying slower and can't think of a good response until later so I'm perceived as shy or a good listener. I know that someone at work thinks I'm shy (actually, I'm sure more than one of them thinks this), she mentioned it to me when I was on my break. I also would be described as shy and quiet when I am surrounded by more people, which I think is related to there being more people and less spaces where I can say something so less of a chance I will say something, less of the attention is on me. I like two people conversations because then there is a more consistent back-and-forth conversation and it's clearer that they are talking to me and not someone else. Though with my family I am way less shy and with my friends, I am probably more shy than with my family but less shy than with anyone else.



PikaYoshi
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29 Jul 2009, 6:39 pm

I have the same problem, though it is not too hard for me to purchase something because when I do, I´m not being forced to say anything. Whenever there is a situation where I do have to speak, I have to repeat in my head exactly what I´m going to say but I never end up saying what I want to.



SteveeVader
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29 Jul 2009, 6:43 pm

I am shy but many females say its cute so bring on the shyness if it gets me cute points lol