Meltdowns in Autistic Children

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I volunteer once a month for a child care service that our church offers to parents of special children. I was wondering how one can tell the difference between a meltdown and a temper tantrum in Autistic children. I would think that one would not want to respond the same way for both situations. I have not encountered this yet in a child there, but I expect I eventually will, and I want to do what is best for the child. Can you give me any hints? Do they both look about the same behaviorally and the only difference is contextual; meaning for instance, would a tantrum be a response to frustration from not getting one's way for instance where the meltdown is from overwhelm so you have to have been observing what was happening just before? I'm just searching for insight.

They're the same thing. It's just "meltdown" is more...neutral sounding, and it implies a cause other than something that's done by choice.

Leave them alone, unless they pose a threat to themselves or someone else. Try to figure out the cause (someone sitting in their seat may do it, touching them might; anything that involves routine and change, and also sensory processing are the main causes), and try to prevent the cause from happening.

The best thing you can do to prevent meltdowns is to decrease sensory stimulation in the child's environment. Sounds, lighting, too much socializing, etc. play a role. A tantrum, as the poster above said, is far less extreme and not triggered by over-stimulation.

I think there are two distinct types of tantrums which children have. The first is the type very young children have in which there is a loss of control and which are very frightening for the child. The second is the type that older children have when they are trying to get their own way. That type may become more like the first in that as it goes on the child may lose control, but it is initially at least a controlled and would-be controlling behaviour which I believe can be learned.

I believe that the first type of tantrum is the one which is akin to the "meltdown" experienced by autistic children, and adults. There is a loss of control, a frightening sense of disconnectedness and a loss of boundaries or anything to grasp hold of mentally.

How this type of tantrum is dealt with depends on the individual child, but generally it involves providing a calm and quiet atmosphere, giving the child time to calm down by themselves, and a recovery time afterwards. Some children like to be held tightly when they are experiencing these tantrums, others need to be left alone. You always need to remove them quickly, quietly and with a minimum of fuss from the immediate environment.

Afterwards, when the child is calm and has fully recovered, you could gently ask them if they can tell you what happened to upset them so much. If you can identify a trigger then it can be avoided or if it's unavoidable, talk with the child about how they think the problem could be managed or ameliorated.

Sorry, I've just had a look at the OP again and realise I went off on a bit of a tangent.

I would say, as a general rule, the child who is throwing a tantrum to get what they want will be very aware of who is looking at them. The trick for this type of tantrum is to ignore it, or remove the child without fuss and seat them away from the group to minimise disruption. Children who are tantruming to get something will turn it up and down, on and off, according to how much attention they are getting and whether they think they will succeed. I once saw a child in a supermarket who was spinning on the floor screaming because she wanted sweets. Her mother was standing at a distance watching her and waiting for her to calm down. The child was slowing and quietening down and was on the verge of admitting defeat when her father came round the corner. The child saw her father, and upped the volume for his benefit. He gave in and got the sweets for her. That child will no doubt repeat her behaviour as it was rewarded by the father.

The only advice that i can think of is to not smother them with affection(example: "oh its okay!! ! *big hug* calm down!! ! *big hug*") if they don't seem like they want someone to "comfort" them. I think this was always hard for my parents to grasp.. The fact that when i was having some kind of meltdown/shutdown/episode/whatever that i DID NOT want them to come up and invade my space by trying to hug or hold me when i was uncontrollably upset. Everyone's different, though.. Maybe some people like for people to come up and comfort them. But with some, definitely me, it's just making things feel worse.

Being alone in a quiet place--not locked up, just alone; there's a big difference--really helps me. It would help a regular tantrum, too, since that one is meant for an audience and dissipates when the audience isn't there. But you really need to get to know the children themselves, as children are very different.

Of course like anyone else, there are evidently introverted autistic children and extroverted autistic children, and I have gotten fairly good at perceiving the difference in adults, adolescents and many children, often just from the feel of their eyes. I wonder if an extroverted autistic child would not want solitude. I may have to discover that for myself.

My son is an extrovert, and he prefers to be with someone when he is having a melt down. To leave him alone would be akin to a punishment and would make the situation many times worse.

He also seems to be hyposensitive to touch, so being hugged and squeezed tightly helps him to calm down.

i think meltdowns often seem completely mysterious to other people: in other words, it's not really clear what triggered it. it seems like everything is fine--then suddenly, it's not. a lot of times, it's mainly about overstimulation, or a build up of small upsets that just aren't articulated and/or identified in the moment. or it could be about an upset in routine.

with tantrums, it's generally a little more clear. they're not so different from the tantrums of other kids: the "trigger" seems pretty obvious: i can't have this toy (etc.), so i'll test the boundaries. i think kids on the spectrum are just as capable of that. (i know i was.) no point in anger, IMO. but firm consistent boundaries are pretty helpful. in general, the more direct you can be with "us," the better.

The cause of a meltdown can be fairly obvious if you happen to be sensitive to the same things.

One thing I need to mention that's pretty important, though; the immediate "trigger" doesn't mean very much in the absence of all the other background factors that can also cause problems. If your kid has been in a noisy classroom all morning, being asked to think hard and sit still under glaring lights and next to an annoying air conditioner vent, he may well have a meltdown when there's a mix-up in the cafeteria and lunch isn't what was posted on the menu. If you assume the child's main problem is that he always wants to know exactly what he's going to have for lunch, then you are completely ignoring the rest of the picture, and the major source of the stress. What people refer to as "triggers" are almost always more like "last straw" events. It's not too many things that, by themselves, can actually take a perfectly calm, relaxed, focused autistic and turn him into a mess of crying and kicking on the floor.

For me, the same response works for both. Removal to a cold, dark space and give me time to work it out for myself why my environment suddenly changed and I'm not getting what I want.

This is from somebody with 30 years of experience of violently losing control.

All I can say is that when my autistic son has a meltdown, he's been known to cry/scream for hours/days and he can get pretty violent towards himself and others. It's nothing compared to any typical developing children and their temper tantrums that I've seen and I've been around a lot of kids.

A tantrum usually subsides if the child gets his/her way. A meltdown usually will not subside even when the child gets his/her way. Although doing what the child wants may help a little with the meltdown as it avoids some further meltdown triggers.

But of course, tantrums and meltdown can combine too. There's nothing quite like assisting an autistic kid that's having a tantrum+meltdown because it is overwhelmed, exhausted and wants something to drink right now.