AS Traits that most annoy NT's

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because of stuff like that i'm constantly accused of lying & laziness. people need to get a clue

Trait jacket topic

Echolalia (same word(s) twice in a row
Wearing the same outfit twice in a row
Eating the same food twice in a row

Anything twice in a row. three times in a row and they want me executed!

i can relate to all those. I really have a problem talking over the phone or skype when im browsing the internet because i will always get too much into to reading and ask them to repeat what they said every 2 minutes (annoys people very fast)

Last edited by TheDuck on 03 Aug 2009, 9:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

sensory issues and having to repeat things over and over or explain things.

What used to annoy people at school when I was a kid is that I took everything seriously. I sometimes didn't understand when people were joking and thought they were being cruel to me, then I would get upset and they would say something like..."OMG it was just a joke! No need to take it so seriously!". This happened on a weekly basis, sometimes more often.

It might be linked to "executive disfunction". Even when I take a list with me I skip over at least one item on the list. When I don't take a list I forget something too. The easiest thing for me would to have a list that matches the diagram of the store...if I knew what aisle every item was on I could do it that way and it would be easier. I would describe myself as "absent minded" in practical ways such as this.

I thought that said, "I can think of herpes..."


Yeah, that would do it! LOL!

Seriously, the things that annoy me the most are the absentminded conversations mentioned above which usually end in my saying, "Yes doesn't make sense as an answer to what I asked." and him saying, "What did you ask?" as he actually stops doing what he's doing and pays attention to me and I have to repeat the entire conversation from the start.

Also, the lack of feedback during conversations. NTs make eye contact, nod, wince, raise their eyebrows, look shocked, say mmhmm or yeah, make interjectory comments like "No way!" or "That's neat!" move in closer to give you a hug if you are sad, reach out to give you a high five or to pat you on the back, and have numerous other verbal and nonverbal ways of showing that they are interested, engaged, paying attention, care, and are fully present with you while you talk. My husband doesn't do any of this during normal conversations and instead never picks his head up from reading the news, and largely tunes me out. I frequently say that I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall. I'm not talking to hear myself talk. I'm talking to share myself with someone else and I feel like I'm giving for nothing. It feels futile. That children's rhyme "I'm rubber, you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks onto you!" takes on new meaning when I try to talk with my husband. It's really annoying.

Double standards. He applies some sort of logic when he wants to do something and insists on it being the only logical choice even though there are other logical options, but when he doesn't want to do something all of a sudden it is logic be darned and he doesn't care. He just clams up into an emotional shell and thinks that's reason enough. But if someone else is emotionally unable to do what he thinks is logical, then he writes them off as being emotional, unpredictable, unreliable, etc and thinks they should just do it and can't see why they won't. He's also unwilling to see how he acted inappropriately saying that he had good intentions so the end result doesn't matter but when others act with good intentions and it doesn't turn out well then he acts the same as if it was malicious on their part. Immunity also doesn't only belong to him, but to a small group of people he allows to occupy his inner sanctum, but who is there is based on emotions and not logic. Those people always get the benefit of the doubt no matter what they do while others always have the worst assumed about them, even when these emotional analyses are highly illogical. It frustrates me to no end because it is all so chaotic and unjust and unpredictable and hypocritical.

Lastly is when my husband absentmindedly does socially inappropriate things because he's not thinking about where he is or what he's doing or how others will be bothered by it, especially when he does these things moments after I point out that he's doing them. Things like pressing on or picking at pimples which is usually accompanied by a strained face that most people would only do in front of a private mirror, scratching off scabs, popping his joints, wiping boogers out of the end of his nose with his thumb and then flicking the boogers on the floor and when they don't fall off, looking quite obviously at them on his thumb before flicking again... it makes me want to crawl under a rock or slap him upside the head or both.

Special interests and obsessions.

Here is another thing that annoys people, innocence. They get mad if you don't understand something or didn't understand what you said was wrong or offensive. They get mad at you for not getting stuff normal people would get.

I started writing to say that I agreed, but upon reflecting I think I do and I don't.

I know I've angrily said something along the lines of comparing my husband to the average man and wondering why he just doesn't get it. Even though that's what I said, the real frustration is that I can't communicate with him effectively and I get so frustrated with the inability to communicate that I take it out on him.

I identify primarily as a communicator. It is how I share myself. My love language. There isn't much I'm good at, but I can sure talk and I do it rather well. To try everything I can and still be unable to connect makes me so angry and frustrated because I feel helpless and out of control, so even though it might look the same it is really coming from a very different place from annoyance over Aspie traits.

I copied and pasted this from another post I made, but it applies,


Based on my social misadventures...

- Don't look at one person when talking to another. This can lead to some serious confusion and misunderstandings.

-Pretend to listen to people. For example do not admit to having been daydreaming while in the middle of a group conversation, because you found the background music playing in the restaurant “enchanting". This is not something a lot of people understand.

-When pretending to listen to people, keep it simple, just nod and smile. Do not try saying things like "really?" or "wow", when pretending to listen. Someone may have just been telling you about a relationship breaking up or their family member having passed away and you've now inadvertently reacted with interest, pleasure and excitement. This will make you look like a sycophant!

-Do not watch movies that you are obsessed with, with N.T's. They tend to talk during movies. They get annoyed if you ignore them.

-Pedantic language and bringing up random facts in social situations. I used to freak people out with this so much, that I now dumb myself down or get really quiet around new people, and I come off as really ditzy.

Based on my past partners' annoyances with me:

Forgetfulness: I stand up but appear to forget how to walk; I set an alarm to remind me of something or they call me about it and I immediately forget.
Robotic replies: They ask a simple question and I say "I don't know." They ask a few related things and I repeat each time "I don't know."
Lack of emotion: They ask what I think of something (e.g., a film). I say "It's OK" every time. They hate it.
Lack of concentration: I stop listening to them when they are in mid-sentence and they notice I've spaced out; they notice I've sat through a film and spaced out and lost the entire plot.
Being silent: They think I'm being rude or manipulative, or they find it boring. Most don't mind.
Daily overload and fatigue: They ask how I am. I tell the truth. They don't like to hear the same thing and say something like "Gawd dear! *sigh*"
Becoming easily unsettled and stimming: They might say "Don't get your knickers in a twist", "It's only a [...]", "Here we go!", or "I love you too" when my stim involves some obscenity.
Sensory issues: They say "Stop freaking out; you're overreacting", "It's only a [...]", "If you have more exposure you'll get used to it", "Stop being lazy", "For gawd's sake", "It's not that bad", "Stop being so melodramatic!".
Repetitive questions
Picky eating: They say "There's nothing wrong with it!"

I don't have much contact with other people (I've pretty much given up on casual socializing), but I know that people hate it when I respond in one word answers, or I blurt out a tidbit which I think is fascinating and no one else gives a crap.

I don't stim in public, or if I do, it's usually leg shaking than my usual rocking.

Oftentimes, my behavior results in someone asking, "What's wrong with you?" I don't know what to say because my mind hasn't caught up with my mouth, and then the person will get pissed when I don't respond. I find that a lot of people think I'm stupid. I like to think that they just don't know how to listen.

ETA: People hate it when I don't like to be touched.

stimming and 'groaning in frastation... somthine the word wonts come out and instead a eeeaaah..

but what annoys NT's most about aspies is their own misguied mind (this aplies for most not all)

wow, couldn't have said it better myself, i have the exact same difficulties

Here is a poem I wrote long before any thoughts about Asperger's. It now makes complete sense.
........................................................THE AIR.....................................................................

I speak to the air, though want you to hear, but your heads not there to hear,
I explain the problem that needs a solution, but your just not listening.....................................
My words just float in the air.

Then, one day you ask me about the words that went in the air,
I start to repat those words in the hope that some may have gone in your ear..............

Now Im in a delema, do I start to repeat those words that once they were there to hear,
or do I dare tell you that I once told you, but you let them................................................
.........................................................................................................................................
..........................................FLOAT AWAY IN THE AIR..........................................................

Vee

I wrote loads of poems when it never occoured to us that he may have AS. I got so frustrated, and could not understand what was happening. I had to express myself in some way, and writing helped. looking back at my rambelling and poems its so obvious