Diagnosis, research and treatment

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The UCL study call prompted me to start this thread. The researchers are looking for people who have a formal diagnosis. Fair enough.

However, people who don't have a diagnosis but who would meet the criteria might be interesting, speaking scientifically. I read recently that something like 85% of diagnosed Aspergers people are unemployed, and I thought well, they probably got the diagnosis because they were unable to get/hold a job. And it seems to me that the differences that make some people with Aspergers better able to cope with employment might be important.

I think what I am thinking of is that there might be learnt coping mechanisms, or specific symptoms that make the difference between thinking a diagnosis is necessary. Conversely, people who don't want a diagnosis or who can't get one might need treatment/support etc that is not available or not being designed due to lack of research. I'm thinking here that being unemployed might trigger a diagnosis but being merely friendless might not.

If you are AS but don't have a formal diagnosis, why not? And, do you think there are symptoms that you don't have but would seek a diagnosis if you did have them? And if there was just one symptom you wish there was a remedy for, what is it?

What it comes down to is the attitudes of the people around you and the culture.
For that, there's no pill that the victim can take.
Once they've decided that you are sub-human, the game is over.

I agree with the subhuman part. I was being evaluated by a neurology doc for possible brain cancer or other such things because of blinding headaches and things that appeared to be sinus headaches and migraines but ended up involving the trigeminal nerves among others. Lots of understanding and support. Disclosure after working through stress reduction and pain management with a psyc. crickets....

The adage when you get older you get wiser comes to play but also --laziness, malaise and for a big part fear. I didnt change I know why I do some of the things I do. I know why I dont 'get it' I have had 5 jobs in 10 years all involved changes in expectations. Usually it meant me having to interface more with either the customer or management. Some of it is ok after management understands a couple points: I have no patience, I suffer no fools, I dont make small talk. Inevitably that never works for long and off I go.

Even at middle age and learning how to be social to an extent I still struggle. AS at least for the time being until I get a bit more coping skills is more of a private hell. "go see our resident crack pot if he cant figure it out it cant be"

No wonder many of us have dual diagnosis

It wouldn't really matter if you did those things. That's just an excuse to condemn you.
I got past all that years ago. In fact, holding a job was easier when I was a clueless kid and made no effort at all. I'm sure that some unconscious age-discrimination is in the mix somewhere. A young woman gets extra points, and whatever I do that is so unacceptable didn't matter as much back then. At least, it wasn't a reason to fire me.

The kind of social skills that one can learn, I have over-learned, to the point where it's working against me. When dealing with the typical lower life form, the "soft answer" most certainly does NOT turneth away wrath. It only encourages them. Walking away doesn't help, either. Nothing I can do matters. If you don't have the right body language or timing or whatever, you're a target. And once you're a target, they're like a pack of wild dogs.

I believe that my main problem is that I am unable and unwilling to take my place in the social pecking order and stay there. I'm honestly baffled when people react as though I have been rude in some way, when it's obvious to me that the same complaint would make no sense if you turned it around -- that the dominant person is allowed to do things that I am not allowed to do. Even though I get it now, I don't really get it. I never will.

I understand traffic rules. They're the same, no matter who you are. They depend only on where you are and where you're going, not who you are. A red light is a red light, a stop sign is a stop sign... I understand that people make mistakes, but no one would argue over what they are. With the social hierarchy, an aggressive person is like an off-duty cop who thinks he's important enough to ignore all the rules that apply to me.
(I figure he must be late for his parents wedding...)

Some people have nothing better to do than create problems that are not there. I don't create or contribute to them. The worst I'll do is give them an incredulous look because I'm honestly baffled. I just keep my mouth shut which, if anything, is worse than letting it run.

Fascism. I would like a pill that would change the people around me. That instinct that makes people do all the crazy things they do. It's taken me a half-century to realize that they're not crazy or stupid or brainwashed or lacking a moral base, but that what I call "fascism" IS their moral base. Every value, every judgment, everything comes from it. Watching normal human interactions is like watching a bunch of baboons humping each other, all day, every day. I usually don't understand it well enough to get along with people but, even when I do, it's disgusting.

I can't participate unconsciously because I don't have those instincts, and I can't participate consciously because no decent person could do those things if he understood them.

I have tried, by the way. During a few phases of my life, I tried to fake it. I now think of it as being a kind of corrupted saint. A triple agent. While most people are evil, pretending to be good, I need to pretend to be an evil person who is pretending to be good.
By the way, it never works.

“Egalitarian.” I guess that’s the word I’m looking for.

A = fascism;
B = social skills, or how to share the planet with other life forms; and
C = egalitarianism.

Most people were hard-wired and born knowing A, need to work to learn B, and very few reach the level of enlightenment at C. I was hard-wired and born knowing C, need to work to learn B and, in my old age, am just catching a glimpse of A.

Someone who really gets all three would be a saint. A Gandhi, who honestly has good intentions and can actually get something done, is rare. More common is the sociopath, who gets all three but uses such understandings for evil.

Most people would instinctively hate Gandhi. The excuses get more twisted and convoluted the more you work at it. For an Aspie, whatever solution you find as an individual usually has to start with breaking your mind and turning you into a totally irrational, unnatural being.

Underneath it all is a basic, instinctive, irreconcilable difference.