The "Most Shameful AS Secret" Competition

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Psy, that's happened to me lately a few times. I couldn't care less. I'm isolated and without hope of ever getting more connected, so who cares if these people ever remember my face and refuse to become my friend for the talking outloud in public? It's not like they would've liked me as a friend without the talking outloud anyway. And if I bump into someone I know? Same thing: if they know me, they dislike me anyway. Talking outloud won't make much of a difference when they wouldn't be caught dead being my friend anyway. I rant to myself in the car sometimes, but then people assume I'm arguing on the hands-off cell with someone.

Nice thread

Not that I remember most of mine... I'll see if I can think of some.

Ok here goes.

I had only been in my current job for about a week (its now been 5 years). I was 18 years old and was yet to make a phone call. My boss then asked me to call an elevator manufacturer to ask when we would recieve the quotation we had requested. The lift was for a deaf centre and was totally bespoke with video intercom screens for sign language/lip reading and was being handled by their most senior salesman.

I had rehersed in my head what I was going to say and dialled the number, unfortunately all I got was the answer phone. Not to worry, I had heard other people leave messages before so I knew roughly what to do:

"This is ***** from *****, I'm calling about the quotation for the deaf centre lift, could you please phone me back on...."

Then I froze.

It suddenly dawned on me that I didn't have a clue what my phone number was, I had not made any calls and nobody had called me.

Then I panicked, and swore aloud to the office ... and down the phone:

"s**t! What the f**k is my phone number!?"

This was followed by everyone within earshot erupting into hysterical laughter, with me left dumbstruck and still holding the phone. A few seconds passed before I finally hung up. He didn't call back.

that's a good one.

OK- That's a 6 out of 5-but you are both very lucky to have these things happen around good natured people.

I'm still laughing out loud at Murasame's "what the f**k is my phone number?!" I get nervous talking on the phone too.

I have SO MANY stories like this. These two aren't particularly funny, just embarrassing, I'll think of some better ones later.

Someone on the first page said something about getting talked into doing inappropriate things by smaller children. Well, when I was a bit younger, I was talking to the kids next door (who are a lot younger than me), and they thought it would be a good idea to go and play in the garden of this vacant house across the street, and I said, "Mummy says I'm not allowed," but they said, "Nobody lives there so it's ok," and like an idiot I believed them. So we go into the garden of the house, and then suddenly one kid says to the other, "Hey, what if our parents find out?" and then it was like my insides froze, I was like, "You said it was ok!" which probably sounded ridiculous as I was so much older than them. When we came out of the garden, my parents were outside our house and saw me coming out of the garden. My mum got mad at me and when I explained that the kids talked me into it, she got even madder at me for being so stupid.

In primary school, I made the mistake of letting people in my class know that I still call my parents Mummy and Daddy (as opposed to Mum and Dad), so everyone in the class made fun of me for being babyish. I'm not sure what age people are "supposed" to grow out of that, but I didn't start saying "Mum" and "Dad" until I was 13. That might be an "our family" thing instead of an "AS" thing, though, because my NT brother is 12 and he still says Mummy and Daddy.

I'm pretty new here but I thought I would contribute a small embarrassing story.

I'm sure if I thought some more I could think of a lot worse ones, lol...

A couple of years ago, I worked nights cleaning an elementary school building with a guy my age named Daniel, and we sometimes did some serious goofing off after our work was completed. I am surprised, looking back, how easy it was to chat/be friends with this guy. I guess we both acted pretty silly and there was nothing serious or judgemental about him so it wasn't hard.

Anyway, one night after finishing up with our checklist, we went into a classroom that happened to have a small ball pit and some very large, almost life sized stuffed gorillas and monkeys. Anyway....while we were busy acting as silly as possible, sitting on the floor with the monkeys, our boss Rob walked in, and asked us exactly what we were doing. It took us by surprise because we had no idea he was in the building. Daniel didn't know what to say, he kinda froze. Without really thinking about it, I told our boss in a matter of fact way that we were "Lounging with the monkeys."

We were always honest about the hours that we worked, but that night we hadn't written down our time yet. So we looked like we were just playing on the job.

That didn't get me fired or in too much trouble, I think mostly because he didn't know what to think. He didn't even know what to say. I am pretty sure I almost nearly got fired, though, for my tendency to have NO clue about flirting and inappropriate playing with the opposite sex. There were plenty of times our boss walked in and Daniel was giving me piggy back rides or we were rough-housing. I had absolutely no clue that it was inappropriate. That's one thing that I still can't seem to really *understand* for some reason but I accept it, and don't. For some reason, to me, playing or rough housing is just playing.

This happened when I was about 6 so maybe childhood naivete is to blame but my whole family was out for some reason and I was staying at the neighbors. The little girl next door and the little boy across the street and I were playing I'll show you mine if you show me yours.When we got bored with that one of them dared me to run around the house pulling my pants up and down. I went for it and was at the front of the house with my pants around my knees when my entire family drove up the street with shocked looks on their faces. I got grounded and my mother told me Jesus didn't make our little bodies to play with (something she denies to this day, but some things are burned in your memory forever Later my Dad felt sorry for me and gave me his shaving brush-which I kept for years.

Let me see here . . . I cant remember how long ago this was (Im thinking between 1990-1992, so 10 - 12 years old) and my parents had family friends over for dinner. Well, im thinking something set off a mild meltdown (noise, laughing, etc) and i was starting to act up i guess. We were sitting at the table to eat, and i guess i didnt like what it was, but i was pinned between the wall and the table. So, with all my agitation, and the inability to get out, my parents told me to go to my room . . . being pinned, i only had one way to go . . . so they told me to crawl out from under the table and go to my room, so i did. To this day, they still give me the "Crawl under the table and go to your room" bit whenever im being a smartass. >< Even my brothers will do that to me . . . embarrassing as all hell.