Any Aspie's out there like this?

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I recently took my son to a specialist who is unsure if my son has Asperger's or just ADHD that is presenting somewhat like Asperger's. Some of the reasons why i question an AS diagnosis are: He is very outgoing, great eye contact, he is empathetic. I've been told that Aspie's are not coordinated but he is actually pretty good at sports. He has no need for routine and as far as i know, not too focused on any one thing. So are there any Aspie's out there who do not fit the typical profile or stereotypes?

Doesn't sound like Asperger's or autism spectrum at all. I've seen some people with ADHD that do have a few minor crossovers with Asperger's. If you could explain to us what these crossovers are, we may be able to offer greater insight. People with ADHD tend to stim a lot, and in severe cases they can get frustrated because they cannot concentrate and thus get flustered easily.

When you say "crossovers" i guess you mean what kind of AS signs does he display (you have to excuse me my Asperger's terms are not very good). The As signs that he displays are the pragmatic speech, immature for his age, above average memory, above average vocabulary (by the way he is 7 years old). My son remembers EVERYTHING! I'm surpised he doesn't remember birth! He likes to use big words and phrases for example at a little league game i heard him tell the other kids " well i stand corrected, the concession stand is open" ha! He likes to talk about things like the Bermuda Triangle, the Civil War. Doesn't mean that his facts are correct but i guess in his mind they are. The other night i asked him if cavemen still exist and he told me "probably frozen in the antarctica. He seems to be interested in science or he will tell me that he "set up a science lab in his room" He is very bored at school. I held him back in Kindergarten because the teachers said he just doesn't pay attention, or seems like he just flat doesn't care. Could you fill me in on what "stemming" is because i'm not really sure. Thank you for your response.

I am Aspie, but am very outgoing. Some Aspies engage socially in a way that is "active but odd": we try to interact with others, but have trouble making it happen smoothly, and may accidentally alienate people. I have improved at this, and have slowly generated various "personas" or behavioral schema which I utilize for various types of interactions.

I enjoy eye contact with people I love, but hate looking at strangers in the eye, especially in "uptight" places like stores or offices.

I have poor cognitive empathy but excellent affective empathy: see the Empathy and autism spectrum disorders section in the Empathy article on Wikipedia. This means that I have trouble anticipating how others feel, but once I know (once someone explains or if I happen to figure it out), my feelings of empathy are very strong, they can even be overwhelming.

I am exceptionally good at choreographed dance, I am very well-coordinated with movement routines, but I still occasionally bash my shoulders into doorjambs, and usually have a few scrapes and bruises (though this has improved with time).

The ways in which I fit the usual description are much more numerous: difficulty in unfamiliar social situations, intense, narrow interests, rigidity in routine, repetitive behaviors, heavy stimming, need for familiarity, naivety.

Based on your description, I wonder what there is about your son that makes you wonder if he's Aspie: would you explain? I admit that he does not sound Aspie to me.

Aspies display various symptoms and often ADHD does look similar. You certainly can't read off a list of aspergers criteria and decide yes or no. You really need a professional to do that. Lack of empathy or eye contact sometimes present quite differently to how you'd expect.

That said, if you're accurately describing your son, it doesn't sound like aspergers.

Confusion, it sounds like your child may be a genius. Being bored at school is one of the traits because his thinking is beyond even his teachers'. Have you considered having him take an IQ test? Perhaps he will have to be moved to a gifted class or a gifted school where he will be challenged.

And it does not sound like AS or anything on the Autism Spectrum. He just may be a neurotypical (or NT) with a gift.

Stimming.... I do them when I'm anxious, when I'm alone, when I'm thinking really hard about things-my stims seem to be "typing" in the air a lot when processing thoughts and trying to express them to someone else. I rock back and forth quite a bit, pace around a LOT. I'm always bouncing my legs, tapping my feet, or tapping my fingers on something. I'm not sure if I have any other stims I'm aware of, but I likely do.

Stims are such a broad category, it would be hard to say what all it could be.

My sons are rocking back and forth, spinning wheels on his cars at times, he bangs his head on the backseat of the car while listening to music, rocks and hums himself to sleep... spins in circles, and jumps up and down a LOT when excited (especially when no one else seems to be).

I have a friend's daughter I suspect at times might be... but never say anything. Her thing is asking if she can "pet" people. She has this thing with other people's hair, and will pet you for hours if you let her because she likes the feel of it.

I know an older adult ASish lady who liked to pet people...it made me feel really uncomfortable...i really hated being petted by her and especially because she would never ask permission..she would just do it...even after I told her I didn't like it...she would express her "need" to pet people...as if it were more important than people's dislike of being petted.
She was also really big on really intense eye contact and would force me to make eye contact with her...which i hated. She had savant skills when she was younger that involved being able to transpose any piece of music by ear into a different key.

My stimming is mostly talking to myself and singing out loud and making mouth-noises, I doodle a lot and write down impossible lists, I hand-flapped as a kid but don't do it as frequently as adult ...I also foot-flap... and twist my fingers. I do rock, but only subconsciously...I also seem to rub my face a lot, but only notice it when I see footage of myself. I pace around on my tip-toes, and generally fidget and squirm around a lot...I pick at scabs....I frequently curl up into a ball when sitting, which seems to invoke outrage in authoritarian adults...like main-stream bosses and such..A lot of aspies seem to avoid mirrors...but I actually enjoy mirrors more than I should...they help me connect with myself, which in turn helps me connect a little better with the outside world.
Ummm....I am not overwhelmingly social, but I do have a goodly handful of not-exactly-neurotypical friends and acquaintances..some of which I can handle more than others...and have maintained my share of relationships with enough relative ease that I have remained friends with several ex-partners...and this seems to be an a-typical trait for an aspie.
It is my job to interact with the public because I help run a venue..so I am used to having to do it...and for years I was the lead singer of a band..(singing has been a major interest of mine since I was a child)....so I am used to being around people...but it still does not come easily, and in the event that I do seek stimulus from others, I am often in danger of making a fool of myself. If I am comfortable with someone, I am likely to disclose too much information...that is a big bad habit of mine....
Also, as a child, I made very high scores on standardized tests...at one point, the highest in the whole school..but my performance level was very low...I would constantly freeze up/melt-down over homework and school work...part of my trouble is related to auditory processing difficulties...and then sensory issues related to being in the classroom...the flourescent lighting...the smells...the tempuratures....etc....

I am assessed as having Asperger's , but it might be more likely that I have PDD-NOS.

Okay, now that you tell us this, and that he's only 7, that goes a long way to answer the questions. What you see, as a parent, is entirely different than what his peers see. Many children with Asperger's are socially outgoing to start with, but become withdrawn and develop social anxiety due to difficulty interacting with their peers. They may be blind to their differences at an early age, but these differences lead to teasing, bullying, and rejection that quickly takes a toll. Effectively, some of the aspects of Asperger's may not be apparent to you, but are, or will be, painfully apparent to your child if he has it. One way or another, he will KNOW he's different sooner or later. If the child is also ADHD, this can further muddle some of the symptoms.

So you're faced with 3 core possibilities: he's Asperger's, a genius, or both. High intelligence can go far for helping a person work around certain difficulties and limitations. It is entirely possible that he is Asperger's, and possibly also ADHD, and has not yet developed some of the outwardly obvious symptoms. I can guarantee you he has social difficulties, and the other kids will be making fun of him for his formal speech and unusual interests, but he simply is not really aware of it yet. Self-awareness will come in time, as will the outward symptoms of these difficulties. Whether it's truly Asperger's may be too soon to tell. It may well be he's simply a genius and operating at a level beyond the other kids.

this may not count for much as Im not diagnosed, but it seems he may have AS... this eye contact thing I know aspies who make good eye contact.... it may be an idea to get him to do a Myrers-brigs test as well as IQ

I make reasonable eye conact but I blunder in coversation not relising that they cannot follow my spead of thought.vP.P could I have his age?

It's funny that some of you have mentioned "genius". Before this specialist, i took my son to a counselor to try and figure out what was "wong" with him and she kinda said " i think your in the wrong place, i believe this child is very intelligent. He needs to be tested." I called the school and they acted as if i was crazy! He never has been tested. It breaks my heart as a mother to imagine that my son will have so many social problems as i was a social butterfly. I will say this though, i have been reading the forums on this websight for a few days now. It is sad that a majority of you talk about your social problems and rejections, etc. On this website i have only found the upmost compassion, kindness and an amazing level of intellect. I haven't seen hardly any rude or inconsiderate posts to anyone. I thank all of you for your posts and your kindness.

I'm like this, and have AS.

Yes, AS (or any form of Autism) can cause social awkwardness (and that's putting it mildly), but, Confusion, your son has something that a lot of undiagnosed and some diagnosed children did not have growing up: a parent who knows and wants to help. And the fact that you've come to this site is proof of that. What I wouldn't give to have a parent like that. Or even a sibling like that (curious? read my blog).

And screw the school--schools don't know everything. If you can manage it, a private IQ test should be the next thing. Or, if that is not possible, then just be there for him. I remember vividly what it's like to be a child and how many times I needed my mother to just listen to me for five seconds and if she had--I like to believe--then I wouldn't have had such a hard time in school. I like to think that parents are there to prepare their children for what they're going to encounter in the world. And if he happens to have AS or any form of Autism, it is not a death sentence. Just look at all the other NT parents on this board (Janissy, for one--and mind you, I haven't been here that long).

Be there for him. It means so much to know that you have someone in your corner.

I'm going through the same thing with my daughter. She's two, so she's really too young to tell for sure, but I do believe in early intervention on things, so I'm trying. Either way, I'm almost positive she's Aspie even though she is incredibly strong and agile, and she connects well with other people, including strangers. She doesn't do too much eye contact, only when she's in the mood, but that's something I work on with my kids on purpose. She'll be great at sports, but she still can be very clumsy. Anyway, I had a sheet from my state's university's autistic center, and it listed symptoms, and she fell into more than half the symptoms. They don't have that sheet on their website, so keep looking back here because when I find that sheet, I'll post what it had to say. It was completely geared toward children. But some that I remember from the top of my head...

Overactive/underactive
Oversensitive/undersensitive to pain
Problems falling asleep (hint, I learned a little Melatonin helps a lot, but talk to doc for dosage)
Plays with toys wrong (seems to be consensus here to stack and line them up)
Cries a lot for no real reason
Really bad temper tantrums


Anyway, what did me in was the Aspie glare. I'm almost positive she's Aspie (Aspie with a mild speech delay, doesn't exist, but it should) or PDD NOS (because of the speech, possibly), only because she zones out into her mind frequently with that blank look on her face. She behaves better when she's like that, but she doesn't listen well. I also have a cousin whose 30 now who was diagnosed ADHD back in the late 80's, and I'm almost positive he was misdiagnosed as well.

The only thing I can tell you is read a bunch of posts on here. If you read something and feel the epiphany feeling with your kid, then more than likely, it's Aspergers. If most of the stuff said on this site is like, "Wow, you guys really are nerds," then ADHD is a very good start for you to be looking.