always look on the bright side of life

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You remember that movie? I do, put I cannot put it into practice.

Here I am travelling 2 months again with my lady friend. I must admit that she is very generous and most of the time uppety. I on the contrary Am most of the time miserable and get irritated with her giglles after every thing she says. She knows I am gay and came all the way to Peru to pick me up and have her chill out in England. Part of myself has accepted, the other part wants to stay here because I don't like the grey weather in England, the rain and the very British way of being and acting.

In th morning she wants straight away chat and talk about something or plan things out for the rest of the day or the day after....I hate that. I needed to make phone calls this morning but I procrastinate, then she tells me that we go and phone and I say that I don't need to and it can be done later. It irritates me that she is so organised and wants to arrange things for the better.

What's wrong with me??? I make her upset, at times I even hate her cheery remarks as it all sounds and looks artificial to me. I am doom and glOom most of the time, and I have been accused of talking too much. But I cannot stand her when she chatters in the morning. She is one friend and I am going to live with her for a few months in England, I don't know how long it will last before I get blunt with her and before she will say "f**k off " this is my home.

I am unable to keep friends

What's wrong with you? You mean other than being an Aspie hanging out with a highly social, over-caffeinated NT?

What you are describing is classic AS overwhelm symptoms in the face of too much stimulation.

Have you talked to her about Asperger's? And how Aspies need quiet time? And when you need yours?

You may need to state it very, very clearly... I need to not be talked to first thing in the morning.

For all you know, she has ADD/ADHD and can't take in long-winded informational downloads, so short and sweet is necessary in that case.

You could tell her you are setting aside the mornings for meditation and reflection. Anyway as for looking on the Bright Side, it is hard at times, because the world is good at blindsiding us with new F*** ups and daily mishaps that we could never have anticipated or dreamed of. It s something I am struggling with myself. I wish I could be one of those positive, optimistic people. Maybe one day I will, if I manage to sort out a life where I cope better with things I will naturally feel more positive.

Your title "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" is a Monty Python song

It is getting good!! topic

Whistling that part of the song. And I liked that movie.

...and that dog. And Jack.

Wake me up before you go-go topic

I like it when life shines brighter than Doris Day!! !

We need George Michael at a time like this!!

Jitterbug.

I'll admit to not really understanding this post but I will say it was highly entertaining and fun to not understand. Not knowing the movie may have something to do with not understanding the post. Thanks!

Well, I think that was the whole point of the song in the Monty Python film.....you're being crucified, and to add insult to injury, some jerk is telling you that it's just a matter of keeping your pecker up.

I never did understand this duty to be happy that people fall for. You get hassled and then they complain that you're not being cheerful about it.

You probably need to to be firm with this lady so she doesn't take so many liberties with your way of doing things. either that or find people who are a bit more "laissez faire" with you.

A large part of the reason why I don't have many friends is that when I weigh up the pros and cons of hanging about with most people, I'm often better off alone. For the most part, all they want to do is things I'm not interested in, and they're not exactly fascinated by the stuff I want to do either. Sure, if I psyche myself up to be really tolerant then I can be with people, and that removes some of my loneliness, but often I'm just trading off loneliness for inconvenience and stress. It's a difficult balance. I think that it's good to look for a common purpose when contemplating sharing time with others. If that's in place, then things tend to go a lot better. And it's also important for both people to realise that sharing is about giving as well as taking. Compromising is a pain in the butt.....trouble is, it's an essential part of the process unless you find a perfect soul mate.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1loyjm4SOa0[/youtube]

thank you all for you reactions. Yes, I knew it was a Monty python song and I loved the movie as I also loved the other one: The Meaning Of Life'.

Having read all this I do agree with most of you, and perhaps after having been lonely for 8 months in Ecuador I accepted her company and tghe suggestion I can chill out in England in her home (I ran into many conflicts in Peru with noise on buses and roads, It wore me out and made me depressed. But I have hardly any money left to live unless I find another teaching job, abut I needed a break from teaching, it was so stressy9.
She was the one who worked with children who have special needs and after having shared a room in Thailand with her, se diagnosed me with Asperger syndrome and everything fell in place for me, teh past, teh present, the losing of friends, etc.

Butshe is so over social and more often when we lived one year in Peru together last year I told her I didn't need that chattering in the morning or planning things straight away for the day. She got put of, sad, maybe fretting. She went back to UK for a year while I went to Ecuador for a teaching job.

I survived and during 8 months, although lonely, I gotten used to my being alone again. when she vame back 2 months ago, she said I had changed and I had relapsed in my Apserger condition. She found and claimed my friends back home agreed, that I had progressed since I left Thailand and that I was able to listen more to other people and not constantly wanting people to listen to my sotires. In the beginning, 2 years ago I forced myself to give her a go to bed hug and good morning hug, but I have come to abandon all those rituals, cause it wasn't me.

But she struggles with the fact that I talk about boys and that I don't hug her anymore, whcih she needs she says. I just want to be me and I don't know what I'll do if I lose her too, She is 14 years my senior and people always ask me if we are a couple or if she is my mum, the latter upsetting her time and time again. But she is miserable and alone in UK without me, she admitted.

As I said, I don't know how long before we hav a row in her house.

She is sweet in many ways and she wanted me to come home so I could see my parents before they die (they're old and ill, they might not last another year)... I gave in, but my heart doesn't want to go to Europe...

Yeah, when she talks about you "regressing" that is not good. If we make efforts to improve ourselves socially it should be in our own way and own time. Noone should be forcing you to hug them goodnight... maybe say to this lady, that you want to be you, in your own way. Have you thought yourself about what and who you want to be?