alex wrote:
I leave my cell phone on vibrate 24/7 so people can always reach me. If I want to reach someone and they don't answer their phone, it really pisses me off, so I figure other people would feel the same way if I did that.
This is one of the things I am working on in the process of embracing my AS: *not* doing so many things because that's what other people expect / want / require / find acceptable. Not keeping a smalltalk conversation going just because I might "look weird" or offend the other person if I fall silent or fail to respond to "Nice weather today!". Not answering the phone because someone else decided it was a good time for *them* to call.
In exchange for letting go of some of my "NT emulation" practices, I'm hoping I'll be able to be more of the quiet, sweet person I was as a child, instead of the constantly irritated, frazzled person who has too many things to keep track of and spends most of her energy wading through miniscule social events (chitchat with mothers in the schoolyard, chitchat with mothers picking up kids after playdates, chitchat with the neigbhor). I realized that I'm spending all this effort and energy outside the home with strangers, and then blowing up at home, where I feel safe -- AND where the most important people to me in the world are, the people I *most* want to be nice to.
I'm caring less and less if strangers and casual acquaintances think I'm weird or aloof or rude or whatever they might think because I'm being me. Let them think what they think; I want to save up my socializing for being with my family, instead of desperately wishing for some quiet time instead.
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