If you...then I... (please fill in the blanks)

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- If you ask me YES/NO questions, then I'll answer either YES or NO (ask me open-ended questions if you want expanded answers)

- If you tell me you're currently too busy to meet, then I'll understand that you're currently too busy to meet.

- If you tell an offensive joke and everyone laughs, I won't laugh along.

- If you're bothered by most things I say, then I'll become shy and withdrawn.

Next?

- If you try to engage me in small talk, I will likely walk away or pick a topic.

- If you ask me who (name of actor/actress) is, I probably won't know.

- If you invade my personal space, I will get frustrated.

- If you ask me to decide...a decision will never be made.

That's sooo true about me!

-If you try to hand me a sheet of paper at a public gathering, I will not extend my hand.

-If you try to hand me a four-inch receipt after I purchase a soft drink, I will refuse it.

-If you tell me to smile, I will stare at you with a frown.

-If you tell me what the weather is SUPPOSED to do, I will ask you who gets in trouble if it doesn't.

"Supposed" doesn't necessarily carry that meaning, though. We can make a supposition on the basis of available evidence, perhaps "rain comes from clouds; there are a lot of clouds in the sky, so I suppose it will rain" without implying that the water is compelled to fall, or has any choice in the matter.

I'm afraid mine is simply:

- If you put up with me, then I'll like you.

that's sooo me too!

-If you ask me what day/time is best then I will say "You tell me." (brought up by making a doctor's appointment in which they tried to insist on me telling them when I am able to come in, even though his schedule is pretty empty since he is an evening doctor)