Anyone have difficulty keeping a secret

Post Reply New Topic

or keeping things to yourself?



It's really hard for me to not repeat things when I am told to not say it so I am always doing it anyway as if I don't respect my friends or my husband. That's why I don't use names as I talk and I still don't understand why it's still a problem for some people. Hey I am not saying their names so no one is going to know it's them. If it's online, no one is going to know who my husband is or what he looks like so why does he need to worry? God people make things so difficult. I shouldn't have to edit things I say or else I be lying and I do not want to be a liar. It takes too much pressure to not talk about things and I feel people have to make it so difficult.


Anyone else feel the same way or feel like they're lying when they have to edit what they say?

Like lets say you had a conflict with someone and your friend was put off with you talking about it all the time so he asks you one day how have you been and what you been up to, you have to basically lie because you know he doesn't want to hear about your conflict again with someone.


Rule of thumb:

Don't ever tell Spokane Girl things about yourself and tell her to not tell anyone about it or else you might see her talking about it on here but your name isn't being mentioned.

It depends on the situation.

i used to be like that a bit. but people kept getting mad at me. stopped telling me anything, left me out of things they were doing because they felt i couldn't keep their activities to myself, etc.

so i learned to keep my mouth shut. i also learned it's not actually as huge an amount of pressure as i thought it was; that i was using it as an excuse to myself, learned that keeping secrets, well...just secret can feel just as fun as being able to tell people, and ultimately learned that people who told me these secrets in the first place told me so out of trust, and violating that trust by blabbing my mouth just so that i could feel good about myself in front of others for what gossipy facts i knew just wasn't worth the bad feeling of falling from the respect and trust of the person who priveleged me with that same such knowledge in the first place even if i tried to justify it all to myself personally with lame excuses such as name omissions. because even if you omit names, if that person hears that story (names regardless) then they know you told it anyhow. and saying "hey, well i didn't use names! ok?" can just make a person sound like a childish smartass. it's the principle of the thing, not the identities that they care about.

besides that, let's say other people close to the person who told you such and such secret didn't know something for sure about that person, but even hearing a nameless story can be enough to confirm suspicions in some cases. people aren't idiots, they can put two and two together.

not trying to make you feel bad. just giving you the benefit of my experiences and insight and hoping you find some reason in what i say. if not i guess, this might at least have been an interesting read. idk

I am quite good at keeping my mouth shut, people seem to readily confide in me. I am just naturally very guarded about anything I do say. It is a bit of an inconvenience sometimes, people drone on about things I don't care about and then I have to pretend not to know anything and I am NOT a good liar.

I used to be really bad with repeating stuff I'd heard. Not for the sake of gossip or anything, but because I thought this is what people did, and I thought everybody was as curious as I am.

I'm getting better about that.

I once shared one of my friends secrets with someone else (her friend too) because she said she'd told them already and it was quite a big thing. Since then I have not repeated anything that I am aware of because I felt so awful when I found out she hadn't told them after all and I had. However I do often have he urge to tell/talk to someone about it and I either don't let myself, or don't use their names.

I can keep secrets when told explicitly not to disclose what someone said, but I have a problem when I'm not told that I can't share something. I used to be very careless with other people's privacy online - some high school teachers googled their names to find info about genealogy or something and stumbled upon my blog. I now rarely use names at all on my blog, and also don't use names hwen talking about fellow patients here in the institution or some staff to people offline.

However, not using names doesn't mean people are not identifiable. To give an example where I was at the other side of the matter: two years ago my university started an autism program, and bragged about it in the newspaper. They head honcho of student counseling, however, was quoted as saying that students are supposed to be able to manage their education themselves, and saying "we have a blind autistic who wants to study something communicative, that is going to be veyr difficult". Well, how many blind autistics are there at that university? Just one. IN the same way, if you tell a friend that "my driving instructor / the guy across the street from me / etc. told me [private info]," it is pretty easy for someone to find out whom you're talking about.

I still find it hard to know when something is and isn't violating someone's privacy. If I'm told not to disclsoe something, I won't (not without names either), but there is a lot of info you're supposed to somehow know is confidential without it being todl to you.

I used to be really bad then I realised noone was telling me anything about themselves any more and decided not to be bad. All it takes is keeping your mouth shut, pretty easy really (unless you have tourette's.) I do it all the time when noone's around.

I'm guessing it's part of the small talk problem, we don't know what people will enjoy hearing but it's a safe bet that people will always enjoy hearing gossip so it's generally much more well recieved than other things we can think of.

I'm not like that at all and never have been, not even as a kid. The last time I revealed a secret I was 4. To me nothing takes less energy or work than keeping quiet.

If I give my word I always keep it, and I would never tell anyone about it IRL or online. To me it doesn't matter if no-one reading it will ever know who the person is, to me it's all about the trust the person has in me.

I never feel like I'm lying when withholding information, but sometimes I feel very bad about it if I feel that the person in question could benefit (in a good way, not make a profit or something like that) from knowing.

I would rather not be friends with anyone who is like this or want to know anything about them.

The things that people tell me about other people in secret, or the sensitive things that people confide in me about themselves, I'm pretty good at keeping to myself, probably because in a day or two afterwards I've usually forgotten the things they said.

I am a total blabbermouth unless someone tells me specifically to keep it quiet. I operate on the terms that if someone tells me something in general conversation then it isnt a secret. So all my friends know now when to tell me to keep quiet AAAANNNND I try very very hard not to be a blabbermouth!!

Made my daughter so mad a couple of months ago because I told her brothers that she was seeing a guy who was much older than her (I wanted the boys to check him out for me and make sure he wasnt going to treat my baby badly). Needless to say she didnt appreciate it and wouldnt talk to me for a month!! !

My son on the other hand is like a priest in confessional!! !! He doesnt tell a soul anything that anyone else has told him!! And he will not cave in and tell for all the tea in china or being put under threat of torture by tickling!! He's a great friend to have and everyone talks to him because they know they are safe.